Wanjohi: The Drinkard

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Wanjohi: A perpetual drinkard/drunkard

Wacuka: His beautiful wife

Rev. Githingithia: Pastor of the Revived and Reformed Fimbo ya Kumchapa Shetani Church of Latter Day Prophets of East Africa i.e. RAS CLOPEA

Dr. Mashida Mingi: A medicine man from Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania

Prof. Hellen Irving: A marriage counsellor, Ph.D.

Wa Mucene: Wacuka’s bosom friend

Choppy: Wanjohi’s and Wacuka’s first born. An intelligent and gifted girl

Mukiri: Their second born. A silent and sickly son

Ngomongo: Their child. A rebel and trouble-maker par excellence. The name means a rock; with the connotation of being used as a crude weapon

Culvert: The last born. A born comedian

Mukuru: Wanjohi’s grandfather; Mukuru means elder, though his actual name is Wanjohi



Other drinkards




(The curtain opens to the tune of ‘I am not of this world’ in the background. The song gains momentum until it reaches a crescendo whereby it is interrupted by static, as though it is a CD with a scratch. When the song resumes, it has taken on undertones of a secular song, its corrupted version.)

I am not of this world
I am just a hapless sojourner
Treasure troves awaits me
Behind heaven’s pearly gates
Where little children
With melodious breath sing
And I can’t want to get there
In the Lord’s blessed presence.

(After the static…)

Even the brew knows
Another friend have I none
If the bar is mine
Drink, what shall I do?
I hear the voices
Of those drunk long ago
And I can’t seem to think                                                                                                                                              Of those back at home.

Mukuru: (As he watches his favourite grandson at play.) That boy will grow up to be a great man someday. As great as his grandfather. (Calling out to Wanjohi.) Wanjohi! Wanjohi! Come on, let us go. You know I have to introduce you to worldly affairs at an early age. That is how great men become great.

Cucu: (Emerging from their house.) Where are you going with my little boy? Leave him alone! I don’t want anything to happen to my husband in your drinking sprees.

Mukuru: Eeeh, you women are all the same; complaining a lot all the time. Nothing is going to happen to him.

Cucu: It better not! The last time I heard those words, my house nearly went up in flames.

Mukuru: (Aside.) Hear! Hear! Her house? Yet, I bought it with my own money! (Aloud.) Verily I say unto you woman, nothing is going to happen to him.

Cucu: If as much as a nail on his little toe…

Mukuru: … breaks, I am not going to sleep in this house. (As Cucu makes her way back into the house, she throws him a look meant to shrivel him to a crisp. Apparently, however, Mukuru is made of asbestos or something similar.) Wanjohi, come on, let us go. (Little Wanjohi stops playing and runs to him. Together, they exit the stage as Cucu shakes a finger at her husband.)


(The scene changes to Mukuru’s favourite muratina drinking den. They are in the company of other elderly drinkards and drunkards who are imbibing the potent brew from old tin cans.)

Mukuru: (As he pours down some libation to the ancestors.) Wa Njeri truly knows her brewing mathematics. Every time I partake her drinks, I feel young again.

1st Drinkard: True that. I shed thirty years.

2nd Drinkard: Oh, yes. Forty years evaporate and my bones feel strong again.

Mukuru: (Nostalgic.) It all comes back to me… the cattle raid, missionaries…

1st Drinkard: The drought of ’43… the freedom struggle…

3rd Drinkard: The cut… lewd circumcision songs… beautiful women…

Mukuru: The dances… (At this point, he is totally carried away, stands up and does a jig. Some of the drinkards and drunkards join him.)  Ũthiaga ũkĩgambaga …

Chorus:  Cu cu cu

All:     Ũthiaga ũkĩgambaga
Cu cu cu
Ũthiaga ũkĩgambaga
Cu cu cu
Mũgithi ũyũ wa mũratina

Mukuru: Wa Njeri nĩ we dereba

Chorus: Mũgithi ũyũ

All: Wa Njeri nĩ we dereba
Mũgithi ũyũ
Wa Njeri nĩ we dereba
Mũgithi ũyũ
Mũgithi ũyũ wa mũratina!

(By now, they have formed a human train and are levitating around the four corners of the shack. Mukuru, in a drunken stupor, lifts little Wanjohi onto his shoulders and although some of his mates try to dissuade him from doing so, he is adamant. As he continues his jig, he trips on one of the tin cans carelessly discarded on the floor. This results in his being sent sprawling to the floor while little Wanjohi flies off his shoulders and lands in a cauldron full of the potent brew. A minute of silence reigns.)

1st Drinkard: Ha! Haa!! Ha!!! Did you see the way the boy flew? I guarantee you he will be a pilot when he grows up.

2nd Drinkard: Oh, yes. A pilot and an acrobat rolled into one humongous talent. Hee…. I tell you!

Mukuru: (As he retrieves little Wanjohi- who is shrieking at the top of his lugs- from the cauldron.) Shut up before I do something stupid and ends up in Kamiti Maximum Security Prison!

3rd Drinkard: D.I.D… Drink induced intelligence, they call it. Drink induced intelligence.

(As Mukuru shakes a fist at him, the curtain falls.)


SCENE ONE: Romeo and Juliet Revisited

(Inside their house, Wacuka is reminiscing about their courtship days.)

Wacuka: Oh! Those were the days. And what a sweet fragile thing I was; all alone in the world and so naïve. I now understand why employers insist so much on experience. If I had had the experience of being flirted with before, I’d not have fallen so hard for his beguiling charm and scented words. At least, I now know what it’s like to be Juliet when Romeo is unleashing those dangerous vibes. (We take a trip down memory lane when Wacuka and Wanjohi are much younger. Wacuka is carrying a jerry can and it’s apparent she is going to the river while Wanjohi is armed with a file and has a scholarly aura about him.)

Wanjohi: Morning.

Wacuka: Morning to you.

Wanjohi: I see these days you attend smiling classes.

Wacuka: Smiling classes?

Wanjohi: Yes. Your smile is giving the sun serious competition as it is. (Momentarily, Wacuka breaks into a smile, then catching herself at it, tries to contain it.)

Wacuka: Now I must be off to fetch water. You know how my mother is…

Wanjohi: Speaking of your mother; how is she and the rest of the family?

Wacuka: She is fine, thank you.

Wanjohi: And your little brother? Has he recovered from his recent illness?

Wacuka: Oh, he is alright. It was just a ploy to skip the end of year exams.

Wanjohi: An intelligent fellow, I must say; as bright as his sister.

Wacuka: What is it you wanted to tell me? You know how people will talk when they see the daughter of the chairlady of the Mothers Guild…

Wanjohi: … being helped to fetch water by a caring, Christian young man.

Wacuka: (Laughing.) You are impossible! That is what I like about you.

Wanjohi: (Feigning sudden illness.) You like me! (He touches his forehead with the back of his palm and becomes quite dramatic.) If I were you, I’d not like me with my high fever.

Wacuka: (In a concerned tone as she feels his temperature.) What is wrong with you? Are you sick?

Wanjohi: In a way.

Wacuka: What do you mean by ‘in a way’? What if this illness progresses and takes you away from me? Come on; let us hurry for a doctor.

Wanjohi: No! No! No! A doctor will not do! Have you ever been to an asylum?

Wacuka: Yes. But what has this got to do with you?

Wanjohi: What did you witness there?

Wacuka: There was a lot of shouting going on.

Wanjohi: What else?

Wacuka: The doctors wore white overcoats while their patients were clad in striped pyjamas.

Wanjohi: That’s it! At this juncture, if I was in Greece and I was a shady character named Archimedes, I’d have to shout ‘Eureka!’ and run around naked in the streets. Alas, it cannot be so. I might convince the authorities I belong in the loony bin.

Wacuka: (Really concerned.) Wanjohi! Wanjohi! What’s troubling you? Why are you doing this to me? (Aside) It seems as if this malady that afflicts my beloved is more grave than I thought. In haste must I seek a doctor!

Wanjohi: A doctor might be tempted to diagnose me with malaria and give me an injection.

Wacuka: Oh…So it is the fear of an injection! Well, I have good tidings for you. Treatment does not have to necessarily constitute of an injection.

Wanjohi: No! No! No! No malaria!

Wacuka: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes malaria. Treatment does not have to necessarily constitute of an injection. It must be cerebral malaria contorting your brain. (At this juncture, Wanjohi suddenly recovers from his illness. His conversation with a much relieved Wacuka resumes.)

Wanjohi: I was telling you about doctors and their patients in an asylum. From their eccentric behaviour, you cannot tell the apart.

Wacuka: That’s so! I have often wondered why the white overcoats for the doctors and striped uniforms for their charges. Kumbe it is to differentiate them.

Wanjohi: About this high fever of mine…

Wacuka: This cerebral malaria…

Wanjohi: Not that I recall being bitten by a mosquito recently.

Wacuka: My mother says the mosquitoes of today bite you then softly blow on the spot so you won’t notice.

Wanjohi: Neither an anopheles nor culex experience.

Wacuka: Well then. It must be meningitis interfering with your medulla oblongata.

Wanjohi: No, not that. It is you!

Wacuka: (Astonished.) Me! What is it I have wronged you to set you off rambling like a lunatic?

Wanjohi: It is your smile and your dimples…

Wacuka: You exaggerate too much.

Wanjohi: … that are causing seismic contractions in my heart. God must have created you early in the morning and taken His sweet time. Not like the rest of us who were thrown here and there and declared fit for earth habitation. You know, you are the only bean in my githeri, the only fish in my lake…I love you like boiled cassava during droughty times and one of these fine days, I am going to buy you a plot of land…

Wacuka: (Flattered and tracing a figure on the ground; possibly the map of Africa.) You engage in too much hyperbole.

Wanjohi: (In an exaggerated manner and down on one knee.)                                                                       Like the Ashanti drums
So beats my heart
When around you, I am
This I know, is love.

For what good is it to a man
If the whole world he gains
Yet, he loses his angel?
Your sweet sensuous smile,                                                                                                                            Is the golden sunbeam
That lights up my world.
A friendship so special
Can only be nurtured and treasured
In the heart of my hearts.

Please be mine,
Heart, spirit and soul.
Forever your love, Sir Wanjohi.

(By now, Wacuka is in a trance. Wanjohi gets up and moves near her. He gives her a long kiss which she passionately responds to. Then, recovering her wits, though still dazed, she quickly picks up her jerry can and excuses herself.)

Wacuka: I must be off at once. Meet me at the banana grove behind our house on Saturday evening.

Wanjohi: Have a blessed day.

Wacuka: (Having covered a considerable distance, Wacuka carries on a monologue with herself.) Come to think of it; that kiss smelled funny. It must be muratina. He must have downed it to get the courage to talk to a beautiful person like me. What a strange animal love is! Still, that kiss was good. (Licking her lips.) Really good. Wish he would kiss me more often. I love you like I love boiled cassava…Mwaaa! You are the Ashanti drums in my heart… Mwaaa!

(Shortly, we return to the present where Wacuka is still conversing with herself.)

Wacuka: It is as though he had a talent… no, a penchant… no, no, he was gifted in the art of garb…no, no, no! That would not do- too trite and banal. Anyway, whatever the perfect terminology, he was good at it. “Kweli, maneneo matamu humtoa nyoka pangoni.” Though, in his case, it was more of “Maneno matamu ya Wanjohi humchelewesha Wacuka kuenda kuteka maji mtoni.” And what the ‘the greatest first date it never was…’)

(As she chuckles to herself, we are once again taken down memory lane. Wacuka is inside the house busy doing her homework while her mother is knitting a sweater or some other mundane task. The textbook she purports to be reading is held upside down.)

Mother: How is the reading coming along? (She glances at the textbook and knits her eyebrows).

Wacuka: It’s coming along just fine.

Mother: That must be a first. I mean, I’ve never heard you speak highly of physics before.

Wacuka: We have a new physics teacher.

Mother: A new physics teacher? I am pretty sure he knows his Hooke’s law and Avogadro’s constant.

Wacuka: (Perplexed, though she has to anwer in blissful ignorance.) Duke’s law? Avocado’s constant. Ahh, yes. Those too he has taught. Duke’s law states that a prince must marry from a royal family, preferably the duke’s daughter while Avocado’s constant says that a girl must consume avocados constantly in order to grow up into a beautiful princess.

Mother: (Nonchalantly.) I see. (She continues with her knitting while Wacuka resumes with her reading. Presently, the happy chirruping of a bird is heard coming from the direction of the banana grove behind the house. Apparently, this bird has not had much of a rehearsal and is doing a bird job as it is.)

Wacuka: That bird sounds like it has been trapped. Really a bird thing to happen to a fluffy, dear thing that delights everyone with itys melodies.

Mother: Stop being so sentimental and nonsensical. That was the sound of a mole.

Wacuka: (Admonishing.) Mother! How can you say that of God’s little creation?

Mother: I tell you, that was amole. All this week, they have been eating the roots of my sweet potatoes. One of these days, we are going to starve.

Wacuka: (In urgency.) Mother! It is a bird and I must hasten to its rescue!

Mother: Stop with your foolishness! It is a mole. I’ll check it out and if it happens to be a bird, free it. Satisfied?

Wacuka: But mom… (She shrugs her shoulders in resignation. Mother goes in the kitchen and comes back with a sufuria full dirty dish water. She emerges from the house and heads off in the direction of the banana grove.)

Mother: (In an aside). A bird? What utter nonsense! Does she not know that I wasn’t born yesterday? Doesn’t she know that mothers have eyes on the backs of their heads? Duh! Well, I am going to illiterate this her bird from the face of the earth. (She chirrups and waits for a reply. The bird chirrups back. The trend continues with the bird’s chirruping edging closer and closer. When she judges the bird to be within her reach, she throws the dirty dish water at it- accompanied by a loud ‘Riswa! Shetani ashindwe!’ The bird takes off in full flight in the underbrush, much like an elephant scrambling madly after poachers who have taken captive of its calf. The scene shifts to the present.)

Wacuka: Despite this and other travails that befell him, he still sought after my heart. Indeed, the patient ones are the ones who eat the ripe fruits. But this drinking of his, it must stop! Every day is the same. He comes in the middle of the night, dead drunk, and starts much botheration. (Taking on a drunken stupor, she mimics him.) ‘Where is my angel?’- in front of the children! Heat up my dinner. Culvert, Choppy, where are you? Have you finished your homework? Come I help you with it.’ And he starts upturning the whole house and making a maddening din.

Then Mukiri comes and asks if everything is alright. That boy has me worried; sickly and silent all the time. Worrying about his father’s drinking. Worrying about what the neighbours will say. Worrying if tomorrow there will be school fees and enough food for everyone. And that sister of his? Hee… I tell you! Ngomongo is the talk of the village. Yesterday she got suspended from school. Today, she has broken the leg of the neighbour’s cow. Tomorrow, she is leading a strike in their school. And Culvert, he will grow up into a comedian someday.

I wish they were all like Choppy. The model child and student every parent and teacher yearns for. Today she has won a trophy for this’ tomorrow an award for that. I hear they intend to make her the head girl soon. I only hope she will not be too lenient when it comes to the matter of her sister’s indiscipline. I don’t know what I’d do without these children to keep my hands full and not constantly worry about my husband. As well as deflecting their father’s unruly behaviour. For example, take Choppy. A lot of people wonder how she possibly could have descended from Wanjohi. If it was not her uncanny resemblance to Wanjohi, I am sure only a DNA test would convince them that indeed she was Wanjohi’s daughter. I guess this means everyone has some good in him. Thank God for small miracles. (Looking at her watch.) It’s now 11:00 A.M.; I wonder where that rascal of a husband might be. (In the distance, Wanjohi’s singing- or what passes for singing- is heard; and with each passing second, it edges closer and closer till he makes his appearance.)

Wanjohi: Njohi ũtũire ũĩ
Wĩ mũtongoria wakwa
Amu kĩrabu nĩ gĩakwa
Njohi ndingĩkwĩricũkwo
Ikeno iranginyĩra
Cia arĩa makundire mbere
Nandingĩhutio nĩ maithori
Ma arĩa ndigire mũciĩ.

(The curtain falls.)


SCENE TWO: Act One: Divine Invasion

(Inside Wacuka’s house. Reverend Githingithia, Pastor of the Revived and reformed Fimbo ya Kumchapa Shetani Church of latter Day Prophets of East Africa, has made a visit. Clad in a cassock and chasuble and carrying a big bible, he is the very epitome of piety.)

Rev G: The Lord be praised!

Wacuka: Amen!

Rev G: Since the last time we met, I am still strong in my faith and have seen the hand of God in all facets of my life. For indeed, as it is written in Ephesians 1: 10-18: ‘Do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers. That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him. The eyes of your  understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.’

Wacuka: Reverend, that may be so but…

Rev G: No, do not doubt Him for a moment. All else may fail but God never fails us, for as the scriptures say in Psalms 42:5 ‘Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.

Wacuka: It is hard, Reverend. It is really hard. This unceasing drinking of my husband is proving too much of a trial for me and my family. It is as though God has forsaken me in my hour of need. Every day I pray for my husband to stop drinking, but nothing happens. I am tired of waiting Reverend. I am tired of waiting.

Rev G: Rejoice, Sister Wacuka, rejoice. For the moment of God’s manifestation of His glory in your life is well-nigh. Let not your husband’s drinking trouble you. As it is written in Luke 21: 34-36 ‘But take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and cares of this life, and that Day come on you unexpectedly. For it will come as a snare on all those who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the ‘Son of Man.’ All it takes is courage and prayer, sister Wacuka. Courage and prayers… and surely, you will be blest in abundance. (Breaking into song, Wacuka joins in the chorus onwards).

The other day, when I was in trouble
I was so sick and so deep in debt
You sent me a good Samaritan
Who settled my hospital bills and my debts.

Dear Lord, I love you so much
Cause every day, you are there for me
When I am down, you lift up my spirits
And never ever have you ever let me go hungry.

Lord, I want to ask for your forgiveness
As it is like daily I put you on trial
And when temptations come my way
Lord you are there to give me the will to overcome.

Dear Lord, this I know of you
In times of wealth, or times of adversities
In times of health or times of infirmities
You are always there by my side.

Though the road, be fraught with dangers
Though my adversaries seek to bring me down
Though the storms of life strive to uproot me
Lord you remain my faithful guide and anchor.

Lord, you understand, that I am just a mortal man
That’s why sometimes I seem to forget you
Especially in times of bountiful abundance
When my mind is preoccupied with the good life.

Though I know I am a hypocrite Lord
When travails come I run back to you
But Lord, instead of judging me
You pick me up and embrace me in your bosom.

Rev G: Come near, Sister Wacuka, that I may pray for you. (Wacuka obeys the command. Reverend Githingithia holds her head with both hands and proceeds in prayer). God loves your head Sister Wacuka! Tea bread, tea bread jams and eggs. (Purportedly, he speaks in tongues).

Wacuka: Riswa! Shetani ashindwe! (The responses are accompanied by the stamping of feet on Wacuka’s part).

Rev G: (Caressing her head.) God loves your head so much Sister Wacuka! Kweliumeumbwaukaumbikamithiliyamalaika!

Wacuka: Riswa! Shetani ashindwe!

Rev G: God, remove the spirit of ignorance in her head! Umebarikiwakotenyumanambele!

Wacuka: Riswa! Madaimoni kazii!

Rev G: God, reveal to her that she should be a sharing soul. Barikiyeyeapatekunigawiamahaba!

Wacuka: Riswa! Madaimoni kazii!

Rev G: That she should share her everything with me! Especially her ass…ets. Her assets Lord.

Wacuka: Riswa!Shetani ashindwe!

Rev G: (Placing his hands on her shoulders and caressing them.) God loves your shoulders Sister Wacuka!

Wacuka: Riswa! Madaimoni kazii!

Rev G: God loves your shoulders so much… you are making me so hot! (He has opened one eye and is admiring her cleavage and behind mischievously.)

Wacuka: Riswa!Shetani ashindwe!

Rev G: Oh… You are making me so horny!

Wacuka: Riswa!Shetani ashindwe!

Rev G: One shot is all I want… Oh… Oh…

Wacuka: Riswa!Shetani ashindwe!

Rev G: (In a frenzy.) God loves your shoulders so much… Oh… Oh… Oh…

Wacuka: Riswa! Madaimoni kazii!

Rev G: Oh, please Sister Wacuka! Just one shot… Please… Oh… Oh…

Wacuka: Yes! Yes! Yes! Riswa!

Rev G: Is that a yes, Sister Wacuka! Thank you Jesus!

Wacuka: Oh… Yes! I feel something encompassing my whole being. It must be the Holy Ghost descending upon me.

Rev G: Oh… God loves your breasts so much Sister Wacuka! (He is about to place his hands on them when Choppy and Mukiri burst on the scene, carried away in their own banter, hence calling for a change of tactics. Once more, he places one hand on Wacuka’s head, and with the other hand raised to the heavens, beseeches the lord for a miracle in Wacuka’s life. Choppy and Mukiri join in the prayer session.) Dear Lord, may your presence descend upon us. May you touch Wacuka’s husband and the father to these children to stop drinking.

All: Riswa! Madaimoni kazii!

Rev G: Lord, bless the children in this home. May t6hey realise their dreams to the fullest.

All: Riswa! Oh… Yes! Bless us!

Rev G: May the evil spirits that lurk in this house be destroyed!

All: Riswa! Shetani ashindwe!

Rev G: May you break Satan’s hold on this family!

All: Riswa! Madaimoni kazii!

Rev G: May Lucifer and his works on this homestead be annihilated!

All: Riswa! Shetani ashindwe!

Rev G: May Your precious blood cover this house, Oh Lord!

All: Yes, Lord.

Rev G: All these I pray believing in Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Saviour.

All: Amen! (After the prayer, Rev G shakes their hands and prepares to leave.)

Rev G: Now, I must be off, Sister Wacuka; but I am sure God has heard our prayers. Very soon, something good is going to happen in your life.

Wacuka: Why all the hurry, Reverend. At least, I should make you a cup of tea before you take your leave.

Rev G: It’s alright, Sister Wacuka. Your intent is as good as a kettleful of tea. Thanks.

Wacuka: It will only take a few minutes, really.

Rev G: Not to worry, sister Wacuka. You know how busy my itinerary is. Other members of my congregation await me.

Wacuka: If you say so, then. (Rev G is now at the door.)

Rev G: Thanks again, all the same. One more thing- tonight is Ladies Liberation Night, just in case you forgot.

Wacuka: I haven’t forgotten at all. It commences at 11:30 P.M.?

Rev G: Yes, at 11:30 P.M. And remember, it’s strictly women’s empowerment business. You should not be accompanied by any male whatsoever- whether your husband or otherwise.

Wacuka: As though my husband would make an appearance at the church… (Catching herself.) Yes, no male whatsoever.

Rev G: Bye for now. May God be with you till we meet again.

All: Bye. Go in peace Reverend.

Choppy: (Cheekily, after the Reverend has left.) It is as well he did not wait for tea. You know, sugar ran out last week…

(The scene now shifts to the roadside. Wanjohi is on his way home after a bout of drinking. In between falling in ditches and uttering obscenities and profanities, he engages in drink induced intelligence.)

Wanjohi: Fools, I always tell them. They are all fools. Yet, they call themselves experts. Experts on what? Of what? For what? Take Kuria for example. Who doesn’t know that between his ears is only empty air? Still, you should hear him open his plate of a mouth to talk. Millennium Development Goals. Global financial crisis. Equitable distribution of resources. Paradigm shift. He talks so eloquently of them and the other drinkards listen to him in awe. Yet, it is all recycled news material from the NGO and government bureaucrats types. What utter nonsense!

And Masese! He thinks he inherited King Solomon’s wisdom. Yet, a simple thing such as getting drunk is a herculean struggle. Everyday, he is the first at our waterinh hole, yet the last to get drunk. ‘Kumbe, kutangulia bar sio kulewa.’ I guess this is so because he lacks a drinking plan. Any nincompoop in the street can tell you that ‘Planning to fail is failing to plan.’ No, that doesn’t sound right. Failing to plan is planning to fail.’ Yes, that is it.

Me, I have a drinking strategy. I always insist on the six ‘Ps’- Prior proper preparation, prevents poor performance.’ Brilliant! Prior as in beforehand. Proper in the sense that you have to be in the right state of mind. Prevents obviously prevents. Poor performance is just that- a performance that is poor. That’s professional drinking for you.

Then again, one of these days, I am going to open a church. ‘Drinkers’ Paradise. And what a following it will have… turning me into an overnight millionaire. There on the pulpit stands I, Most Reverend Drinkard Wanjohi; and as I toast to my followers, I lead them in prayer. Our Brewer’s Prayer.

Our Brewer who art in Sweet waters
Hallowed be thy liquor
Thine drinkdom come
Thy spirits be consumed at home, as it in the pub
Give us this day our daily brew
And forgive us our part time abstinence
As we forgive those who interrupt our drinking patterns
Lead us not into places where they distil not
And deliver us from Eva
For thine is the drinkdom, the power alcohol and the gory details.

And why should we be delivered from Eva? You see, Eva is an opportunistic lady. Sometimes she happens to be in the mood for maximising profits, and so, what do we end up with? Chang’aa spiced up with mortuary drugs and methanol and drunkrads shouting ‘Even if you switch off the lights, we will still drink.’ Which is bad for business. I think it would be a good idfea if the government came up with a commission of inquiry to look into this thing. Else, Eva as usual, turns into the proverbial proverb of a ‘Mgema akisifiwa, tembo hulitia maji.’

(Wanjohi is now within the vicinity of his homestead.)

Wacuka: Hear! Hear! There goes my embarrassment of a husband! Shouting to the hills and the valleys about his ‘professional’ drinking. One of these days, I am sure he is going to be awarded an honorary degree for his service to mankind. DDaT. Doctor of Drinking and All Things Alcoholic. And who is this Eva he is talking about? Hee! Let him try to introduce her as a second wife in this house. I will cut her to little pieces and make soup of her! She will know that I am a full blooded Mu-Kabete, an amazon from Kabete where we have arrowroots for breakfast and arrowroots for supper!

(Wanjohi is now at the door.)

Wanjohi: Woman! Open this door before I walk right through it. Don’t you know that I paid for you in goats and cows?

Wacuka: (Opening the door and in a sarcastic tone.) Yes dear. How was your day? I can see you jhave been working hard in building this our nation.

Wanjohi: Woman, do not start with me! I know what you are doing…

Wacuka: And what is that dear? I am curious to know.

Wanjohi: I will tell you again woman, and do not try to ‘dear’ me. You are thinking what a drunkard I am. But I tell you, I am a professional drinkard and not some helpless drunkard. I control my drinking; it does not control me.

Wacuka: I see. I didn’t know drinking was a profession.

Wanjohi: Yes, classified right there with the arts and the sciences. In fact, it is the finest of arts and the most exact of the sciences.

Wacuka: Oh… so can you apply it to get employment anywhere? (Shakes her head in mock disbelief.)

Wanjohi: You women never cease to amaze me. Of course, you can get emolument as a taster of wines and other drinks. A ‘connoisseur’, they call him. Or in other words, elegance and sophistication. What were you doing in Beijing anyway?

Wacuka: (Aside.) I guess I underestimated his drinking. ‘Kumbe’ he is a more lost cause than I thought. It seems as though Rev. Githingithia’s prayers are not working and I should look for help elsewhere. (Aloud.) Do you remember those days when you used to look up to he bible for wisdom and guidance?

Wanjohi: I still do. Now that you have mentioned it, I am thinking of…

Wacuka: You have become a slave to drink. That’s what you have become. A slave to drink. Proverbs 23: 31-35: ‘Do not look on the wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly. At the last it bites likes a serpent, and stings like a viper. Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart will utter perverse things. Yes, you will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea, or like one who lies at the top of the mast, saying: They have struck me, but I was not hurt; they have beaten me, but I did not feel. When shall I awake, that I may seek another drink?’

Wanjohi: Alright… I can see where this is going. Push coming to shove. So, did you also read Proverbs 31: 6-7: ‘Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to those who are bitter of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember his mystery no more.’

Wacuka: (Laughing sardonically.) Uuuuiii! Eeeeiaye! Now, you are bitter and perishing! What a twisty coincidence! And us, we are miserable and poor! Myself, I couldn’t have put it better.

Wanjohi: And while we are at it, did you skip reading 1st Timothy 5:23: ‘No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach’s sake and your frequent infirmities.

Wacuka: (Sarcastically.) Rather startling, I must admit, when a ‘professional drinkard’ suddenly turns into an enlightened preacher, don’t you think?

Wanjohi: (Mistaking his wife’s ‘enthusiasm’.) One beer for the price of three!!! Special offer!! Sale!! Sale!! It will be located on an upmarket neighbourhood and there on the outside, it will feature a large notice. ‘Drinkards’ Paradise.’ I am thinking of opening this church. I was coming to that.

(Darkness falls.)




(As the stage lights up, the scene is changes to that of a typical medicine man’s workplace. Dr Mashida Mingi is clad in a hide and his head gear consists of a strip of hide in the shape of a wreath- with colourful plumage stuck on it. He is conversing with Culvert.)

Dr MM: Life is politics, I always say. Though it does no good to have everyone know.

Culvert: I disagree, life is art. You see, every time you do something, you are creating it. That is the essence of art.

Dr MM: There you go again; agreeing with me as always. Politics is about doing something… making something… creating it. As you so succinctly put it, ‘That is the essence of art.’

Culvert: (Exasperated.) Do you always have to win every argurment? Perhaps, you would be rich by now if you were graceful enough to accept logical defeat now and then. Let the people that matter save face. Anyway, how can life be equated to art?

Dr MM: ‘Survival of the fittest’- Charles Darwin termed it. This means that in life, you have to be extremely self-centred, that way, you will go places.

Culvert: Well, it beats my mind as to hoe selfishness can be a virtue.

Dr MM: It is, I assure you. Even Jesus extolled his disciples to be like the people of the world. It seems Charles Darwin was a disciple of Jesus too.

Culvert: Illogical logical. That’s what you are. Illogical logical. Charles Darwin and Jesus in one sentence? It sure beats logic!

Dr MM: Listen, my friend. In this life, you have to be artfully self-centred. When you have two loaves of bread, you eat one, the other you share with your neighbour. Though you make sure you eat the first loaf in the privacy of your room.

Culvert: To my conscience, that seems like being generous- of a kind, though.

Dr MM: No, you don’t understand. That is being self-centred as you think of tomorrow’s survival. Tomorrow, when you are hungry, perhaps, and I stress ‘perhaps’, the neighbour you shared your loaf with will share his cake with you.

Culvert: Mmmh… I must admit it makes some sense; weird as it is.

Dr MM: Look at me; a bachelor of arts in the science of education, yet no job.

Culvert: Eeeh! It is either a bachelor of arts in education or a bachelor of science!

Dr MM: Yes, a bachelor of arts in education from the University of Nairobi. The science of education part comes from the reality of living as a jobless senior bachelor who has to pay rent at month’s end and put food on the stomach. And that’s why I am clad in a hide today. Putting my degree into good use by teaching people a lesson or two.

Culvert: The last bit you mentioned; did they teach that in university too?

Dr MM: Yes. The university of life. Especially the philosophy professor- my landlord.

Culvert: A wasted opportunity, it must have been. You could have been a student leader, then joined politics. Development and progress.

Dr MM: (As he sighs nostalgically.) Whoooo! I guess I was just too idealistic. ‘To dream is happiness, to wake up, reality,’ I say. Otherwise, had I been a little less naïve, I would be well-off by now. At the end of it all, I knew I was going to be awarded a doctorate and be a doctor. ‘Kumbe’ a doctorate is not the same thing as being a doctor; the kind that treats people. So, I thought a first degree was good enough and opted out. Still, we interacted with real doctors and I came to discover a thing or two about medicine. It is kind of fifty percent facts and fifty percent probability.

Culvert: So, it has some mathematics in it? I always hear my eldest sister talking of probability, especially when she wants to be downright rude. ‘What is the probability of Culvert taking a bath this month?’ That’s when she finds me indulging in her make-up. As she says, it doesn’t grow on trees.

Dr MM: If I may ask, what do you do with the make-up? I mean, I was made to understand that the beauty of a man lies in his wallet.

Culvert: Nothing out of the ordinary. Just colouring myself as a clown. You know, in this life, you never know from which direction your daily bread will emanate. Hence, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared for any eventuality.

Dr MM: I was telling you about medicine. You don’t have to go to medical school to qualify as a doctor. There, you might end up as a patient instead. What with opening up dead people’s bodies! Then getting post-traumatic stress and going for counselling from another doctor who is experiencing post-traumatic stress after listening to other people’s endless problems…

Culvert: And be thoroughly exploited as a medical student and intern for many years…

Dr MM: You just have to learn some medical terminology; post-traumatic stress; that a corpse is a cadaver, a skull a cranium… learn the Latin names for various parts of the anatomy and you are ready to go. Then, you set up shop in a nondescript location and in between waiting for sick customers, dodging City Council askaris and evading officials from the Medical Regulatory Board, you scan various diseased and disordered textbooks for signs, symptoms and prescriptions. And remember to be nice and comforting to your customers. That way, they will bring in a lot of referrals your way. Lastly, don’t quack too much; else, you might attract unwanted publicity.

Culvert: That sounds to me like an extremely risky undertaking.

Dr MM: Life is all about risks. Otherwise, if people didn’t take risks, they might not need your services to begin with. A man adulterates his neighbour’s wife, he is machete-d on the head and you are in business. He stays faithful to his wife, no machete, no job creation for you.

Culvert: Still, people might die if you give them a malarial injection for a cut toe.

Dr MM: No, you do not go to that extent. Drugs are expensive and many of your customers can ill afford the amount. So, you dilute the medicine with water- that way, more of it can go around. Else, you can choose to go the herbal way. Less risky though less rewarding. You will be given a business permit and no Medical Regulatory Board officials breathing brimstone and fire down your neck. Only expense, besides rent, being brimstone and treacle.

Culvert: You have lost me there.

Dr MM: That’s another aspect of it. Your customers should never fully understand you, else, you will have destroyed the mystique and mystical aura about you; which equals lost business opportunities. Remember, medicine is meant to be understood only by doctors. As to the procurement of medical concoctions… In the bush, you go foraging for herbs. Boil the stinging nettle stems- a cure for asthma. Maize inflorescence palliates urinary incontinence, and so on and so forth. It’s all about being enterprising in R &D: Research and Development.

Perhaps, you discover that the stinging nettle is no cure for asthma (or of anything for that matter and might even be poisonous). Therefore, the next asthma patient gets treated with avocado leaves powder. Some get worse, some get better. Others die. The relatives you comfort, ‘We treat, God heals.’ They remember the many you have cured. ‘It’s god will.’ They say. Tomorrow, they fall seek, they come back to you. For the superstitious, you conjure up spirits.

Culvert: Not forgetting the power of advertising. In strategic locations, you erect notice boards proclaiming your services for all and sundry: Dr Mashida Mingi; Highly qualified medicine man from Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. He treats various ailments like asthma, malaria, kidney stones, diabetes, skin problems etc. Specialises in finding lost persons, job promotions, courts cases, retrieving a lost wife, brightening dull children, employment and treating people affected by evils spirits. For further inquiries, contact this number, 07………. Or email at dr.mashidamingi@yahoo.con. (A loud knocking on the door means cessation of the above conversation. Quickly, Culvert sprawls under the bed while Dr MM starts blubbering various incantations- if they may be called so. The knocking stops for a while, then resumes; but this time, more softly, more hesitantly).

Dr MM: Abra cadabra jibri ji. Ayeya asusa… (He goes and opens the door. Wacuka enters.)

Wacuka: (In a trembling voice.) G… goo… good… morning?

Dr MM: (In a frenzy and doing a jig while rattling a fly whisk with tonal variations for additional effects.) Abra… ra ra ra… cadabra… ra ra ra… jibri… ji ji ji… oh… oh… the spirits… they are talking…oh… she has… yes… a problem… a job problem?… Oh… not? … A malicious relative problem? … Oh… not? A lost love problem?

Wacuka: Yes. Maybe.

Dr MM: A home based problem?

Wacuka: Definitely!

Dr MM: An unfaithful husband? Oh… spirits of my ancestors… talk to me I beseech thee!

Wacuka: Perhaps. That barmaid she was talking about… heee… I must find out!

Dr MM: Oh… hear… hear… the spirits are talking. It is a drinking problem. Thank you spirits for finding favour in me!

Wacuka: (Eagerly.) Yes, yes! That’s why I came. His drinking is drinking me mad. Please, please… help me. I will do anything for you. (All this while, Culvert is in a trance. His fertile imagination is running wild. If his mother can visit a witchdoctor, what else could she have done? Like that meat for supper that tasted funny last week, etc., etc. Meanwhile, Dr MM’s theatrics have come to an end with a bit of pomp and flourish.)

Dr MM: Good morning. Please have a seat.

Wacuka: (Sitting down in a three-legged stool that has seen better days.) Thank you. I definitely knew I would get help here. This drinking, I tell you…

Dr MM: Can I offer you something to drink? Tea? Water? A soda?

Wacuka: Water will do just fine. (Dr MM offers her a glass of water. Wacuka eyes it suspiciously as  gelatinous specks are floating around; but anyway, manages to down a sip or two.)

Dr MM: This bad drinking spirit has possessed him for a long time.

Wacuka: Yes. He has been drinking for far too long. As a matter of fact, many of my nights have been cold. Very, very cold. You see, he can’t rise to the occasion any more. If it weren’t for Rev Githingithia and his Ladies Liberation nights, I would have divorced him a long time ago.

Dr MM: (An opportunist seeing an opportunity to seize.) Enhe… this Ladies liberation thing, another bad spirit possessing the Right Reverend, I suppose.

Wacuka: Definitely not the Holt Ghost at work, I dare say. You see, most of these nights, I am the only client; and what tempest nights they are! All tossing and turning and contortions that defy gravity. He makes love like someone possessed. That scallywag of a preacher couldn’t stop my husband’s drinking, but at least, he is able to satisfy my bodily urges… ( A very audible sigh escapes from a scandalised Culvert; prompting Dr MM to start his chanting and theatrics again. After a while, he ceases.)

Dr MM: Wow! Even the spirits are shocked. Abracadabra… jibri… jii! Oh, spirits of my forefathers, I hearken to you… Oh! Hear me, helpless as I am. Descend upon me and touch me. Oh, all-knowing spirits, you understand that she is just a mere mortal lost in the cravings of the flesh. Please, I beseech you, do not hold this against her. Forgive her and intervene in her affairs. Take the drinking demon out of her husband, cast it into the dark, bottomless abyss, lock it and throw away the key into the Caribbean Sea. (He is so carried away that he breaks into song.)

My brother, my sister
My neighbour, my friend
Come to Jesus for He cares
For He cares… for you
For He cares… for you!

Wacuka: What! A medicine man who knows Jesus! That is a first! He definitely must know what he is doing! (These shocked statements brings Dr MM out of his reverie.)

Dr MM: (Embarking on what might be a slightly blasphemous and offensive dissertation in some quarters- but this being art, nevertheless must be told.) My dear sister. Do not be shocked. You see, Jesus is a spirit; a good spirit. In the spirit world, there are bad spirits, like the drinking spirit, and good spirits. Hence, when dealing with bad spirits, you have to invoke the names of the good spirits to aid you in your cause.

In the spirit realm, a never-ending war is going on, and when the bad spirits are defeated, they are cast down on earth. In order to survive and regain their strength, they must attach themselves into the person of a human being and feed on his soul. Thus, when we invoke the good spirits to come down on earth, and they heed to our pleadings, the bad spirit is utterly destroyed. Therefore, it cannot trouble anyone again. There being thousands upon thousands of both good and bad spirits, this translates into even the best of us having some vive about him and, conversely, the worst of us having some virtue about us.

Wacuka: So, you mean to say that my husband has been freed of this drinking spirit?

Dr MM: Now, now, now… not so fast, woman. You see, you have to give him some concoctions to ensure that any part of the spirit that remains in him is killed. Otherwise, it will multiply and trouble him again; this time with a vengeance seven fold as deadly.

Wacuka: Mmmh… and where do I get these concoctions to do a full job?

Dr MM: Further, you must appease the good spirits too. In the olden days, it was through sacrifice, but the spirits have now gone digital. They understand that the price of unga has gone up. That cash has become a scarce commodity for, especially for a woman who is unemployed. Well, the spirits have spoken to me. They have shown me what a good woman you really are inside your heart. It is only that a small demon inside of you is hard at work. Therefore, today at night, you must come for some cleansing ceremonies. We have to destroy this demon before it becomes too big. Come alone with your fridge, oven…

Wacuka: It seems as though you will have to be disappointed again. The only fridge in my house is a pot while the only oven in my house is a charcoal stove…

Dr MM: (More incantations, though less frenetic.) Abra ca da bra… jibri… jii… hosama… ingokho… The spirits have spoken. A radio and TV set will suffice.

Wacuka: Well, it seems as though you will not have to be disappointed after all. Those I have. Those I can bring. (As Dr MM starts packaging for her the aforementioned concoctions, another troublesome spirit starts conversing. It does so in a European accent- as though talking through the nose. The voice of this spirit emanates from under the bed.)

Spirit: Bling bling… ding dong… hickory dock… You greedy man, I warn you. You’ve made us very angry with your greed.

Dr MM: (More incantations) Tea bread… tea bread and eggs. Oh! Mighty Spirit; but you said it was ok if she only brought the TV and the radio. (A very trembling Wacuka, who is rooted on the spot, is the intended audience as far as the spirit is concerned.)

Spirit: Bling bling… ding dong… hickory dock… Oh, greedy man, I didn’t say so. That was a figment of your own fertile imagination. If you do not change your wayward manners, we will punish then desert you.

Dr MM: Tea bread… Tea bread and eggs… Tea bread and eggs and not forgetting the jam… but… but… Mighty Spirit…

Spirit: But… but… but what? That you are greedy? Yes. That you are a liar? Yes. Tell this to the woman. At once must she leave your precincts and hurry to a marriage counsellor. That’s the only intervention we can indulge in on her case. (Directly addressing Wacuka.) Woman, do you hear me?

Wacuka: (In a quacking tone.) Ye…s… Yes…

Spirit: Stand up and run to a marriage counsellor before my wrath falls on you.

Wacuka: But…but.. the… the concoctions…

Spirit: Woman… do you not hear me? And neither shall you return here with your TV or radio… In fact, never set foot in this house again… (In a booming voice.) Now, run to a marriage counsellor before I… (Wacuka does not wait to hear the rest. She jumps and like the wind, is off. On this day, I hasten to add, several Olympics records are broken. The naughty spirit comes out of hiding from under the bed.)

Dr MM: What’s wrong with you? Have you become possessed? Making me lose a customer just like that!

Culvert: A customer? That was my mother!

Dr MM: Your mother! But you could have warned me beforehand!

Culvert: Warned you? I was too shocked; that my God fearing mother could stoop so low as to visit disreputable establishments like these.

Dr MM: I still do not believe it. She is too young and too beautiful to be your mother.

Culvert: Beautiful? Night visits? How can you talk of my mother like that you imbecile!

Dr MM: Accidents do happen. I sincerely apologise.

Culvert: Apologise my foot! Hee… and wait till that lousy pest of a preacher comes around to our house. God help him when he does.

Dr MM: (In a conciliatory tone.) I think it will be wise if we let bygones be bygones. We forget the matter and pretend it never happened.

Culvert: You don’t have to say ‘I am sorry’, ‘cause the damage already done. So much damage, already done.* I knew this business would be a risky business. Still, I only have myself to blame for agreeing to be a clown in your scheming venture. I think it would be better if I go home now. (He exits.)

Dr MM: (Addressing the audience.) Time to close shop and get out of town, I guess. (He too makes his exit.)

(We now return to Wacuka’s homestead. Culvert can be seen and heard whistling quite merrily. Now and then- perhaps seeing the absurdity of it all- he breaks into a chuckle. Enters Ngomongo.)

Ngomongo: Don’t you have anything worthwhile to do? Whistling and grinning all the time.

Culvert: It keeps me young, unlike most of us.

Ngomongo: Don’t start with me. Today I am in no mood for your sarcasm.

Culvert: Our biology teacher says that one uses less facial muscles to smile than to frown. This keeps one young, healthy and in constant company of a boyfriend.

Ngomongo: Did the biology teacher also say what happens when a fist connects with the  face of an idiotic boy?

Culvert: point taken… Anyway, I was at Dr Mashida Mingi’s place…

Ngomongo: Clowning around while making concoctions for him…

Culvert: … when Mother made an appearance.

Ngomongo: Mother!

Culvert: Yes, Mother.

Ngomongo: In God’s name, what did she want?

Culvert: Help.

Ngomongo: Help?

Culvert: Help over some drinking issues.

Ngomongo: But she recently joined the Mother’s Guild?

Culvert: She also joined the Medicine man’s Guild, the Politician’s Guild, the Preacher’s, the Market Guild and what other guilds we know not about.

Ngomongo: Heee! Spying on your mother! (Still, she sits down to be fed on the juicy details.)

Culvert: A drinking demon was the issue.

Ngomongo: Father, I am sure.

Culvert: A concoction of dishwater and laundry water was the cure.

Ngomongo: Dishwater! Laundry water!

Culvert: Half of it. Add a TV and the radio for a full cure.

Ngomongo: You mean to say that today we’d have seen the news at our neighbours!

Culvert: (Being a sensible fellow, at any rate, he leaves out the juicer part about the preacher’s Ladies Liberation Nights which Dr Mashida Mingi was eager to replicate.) Luckily, the spirits of Dr Mashida Mingi’s ancestors spoke.

Ngomongo: Spirits! So, they exist after all?

Culvert: (Pinching his nose as he talks.) No TV. No radio. Run to the marriage counsellor at once. (Reverting to his normal self.) And once more, the day is saved by the clown ‘Karavati’. (Ngomongo is left in stitches.)

Ngomongo: I wonder how that girl I saw you talking to will react when I tell her of your role in this episode.

Culvert: That’s none of her business; so leave me and her alone.

Ngomongo: (Feigning shock.) What! He is a medicine man’s apprentice!

Culvert: Well, if you tell her so, I will know that in your house, you are so many that the lastborn is called enough is enough.

Ngomongo: And you are so dark that when you pass near darkness, it says, ‘Mmmh!’

Culvert: And your boyfriend is so hot that when he sweats, he sweats Ribena!

Ngomongo: Well, you have such a big mouth that you eat avocadoes like peanuts.

Culvert: Oh… Your legs are so thin that you wash them in a thermos flask. And what about your ears? They are so big that when you enter a café and they flap, all the cups of coffee turn cold. What about your lips; so big that when you want to say Busia, you say… Brrrusia! (Sensing defeat- something to do with girls being ill at ease whenever their physique is being criticised- Ngomongo starts chasing Culvert all over the house. Still being chased, Culvert enters another room in which Mother is present. He does not notice her, however, and starts tottering around while singing ‘drunkenly’.)

Njohi ũtũire ũĩ
Wĩ mũtongoria wakwa
Amu kĩrabu nĩ gĩakwa
Njohi ndingĩkwĩricũkwo
Ikeno iranginyĩra
Cia arĩa makundire mbere
Nandingĩhutio nĩ maithori
Ma arĩa ndigire mũciĩ.

Wacuka: (Hysterically.) What! Culvert! You have started to drink! Following in your father’s footsteps… Oh Lord have mercy on me!

Culvert: (Not taking Mother’s hysterics seriously and still tottering around.) It is not drinking. It is only a drinking problem. Very different things… drinking and drinking problems.

Wacuka: Wuuuiii! Mary Mother of Grace! (She crosses herself.) What has descended upon my household? Tomorrow must I go to see the marriage counsellor. It was the parent; now the child too has a drinking problem. It seems as though the iniquities of the fathers have visited the sons! (In enters an inebriated Wanjohi, prompting Wacuka to start cursing him.) What an exemplary example for the children you are! Starting a school of drunkards right in the middle of your home. Drinking 101: when you drink, drink as if there is no tomorrow. Drink until you see the ground shifting haphazardly on your way home. Drink until the roadside ditch appears as a very Slumberland mattress.

Wanjohi: What’s with you woman? Can’t one have a moment of solitude in this house?

Wacuka: A moment of solitude! Good Lord! A moment of solitude when the head of the house comes yelling at the top of his house about the virtues of drinking. Indeed, it is a moment of solitude when the son too has a drinking problem!

Wanjohi: A drinking problem? And which son is this?

Wacuka: (Sarcastically.) This son! Very soon, he will excel his father in his drinking. And what will the whole village think about me?

Wanjohi: (A bit sobered up.) Culvert has a drinking problem? Doesn’t he know that drinking is for adults only? Haa! Let me remove my belt and solve his drinking problem once and for all. (Which he proceeds to do.)

Wacuka: Do you think caning him will do him any good? Unless you yourself you stop drinking, his liquor will be done in hiding. And what will the good neighbours say: Poor Wacuka, her husband is a drunkard and she knows it. What a pity. Her son is a drunkard and she knows it not. What a tragedy! Very soon, I will not have enough face to borrow salt from the neighbours.

Wanjohi: (Approaches his son menacingly.) What is this I hear of a drinking problem?

Culvert: But it is only a drinking problem… dad.

Wanjohi: Well, a problem needs to be solved. (Raises his belt to strike Culvert.)

Culvert: (Shrugging his shoulders in defeat.) Okay. It needs to be solved if it must be solved. If I drink half a litre of wine… (Seeing his father glare, he changes tact.) If I drink half a litre of water, and my friend Robert drinks one and three quarters of a litre of water, how many litres of water we’ll we have drunk altogether?

(The curtain falls.)

*Antony B- Family business



Scene Three: Act One
An agonised Auntie

(Prof. Hellen Irving’s, PhD; marriage counsellor- office is a small affair but with all the trappings of a quite successful shrink. On the mahogany desk is a computer, a telephone and some files. Prominently displayed on the wall is a plaque inscribed the words ‘Prof. Hellen Irving; PhD; UCLA.’ Behind her executive seat are some cabinets. There are also some chairs for patients and visitors. Wacuka has made a visit.)

Wacuka: Good morning.

Prof H: Good morning to you. How can I help you?

Wacuka: Well, I have a problem… or rather, my husband has a problem.

Prof H: I see.

Wacuka: I have tried everything, but nothing seems to work.

Prof H: Including counselling?

Wacuka: No, no, no! Everything but counselling. That’s why I am here.

Prof H: That will be thirty thousand shillings, upfront.

Wacuka: ( A desperate Wacuka grimaces but nevertheless exacts the money from her purse.) Well… here it is.

Prof H: So, what is this problem?

Wacuka: It’s my husband. He drinks too much. Nowadays, he has turned into the village joke.

Prof H: Has he always been drinking?

Wacuka: Now that you mentioned it, he has since I knew him. At first, he would drink occasionally, like around Easter or Christmas; but lately his drinking has progressed beyond measure.

Prof H: and how long have you known him?

Wacuka: I have known him since he was a little boy.

Prof H: was he drinking then?

Wacuka: No, he started drinking while in college.

Prof H: And how long have you been married?

Wacuka: We have been together for seventeen years.

Prof H: And how long did you date before you got married?

Wacuka: If it can be called as such, we dated for around three or four years. That’s when he started drinking. During Christmas or on such similar occasions, he would take me out for dinner or for a picnic. Then, if he had some spare money, he would down a drink or two. At that time, I attributed it to him wanting to gain some Dutch courage to do something daring like to kiss me.

Prof H: When you got married, did he stop drinking?

Wacuka: He was what I hear some people call a social drinker. You see, he was a sales manager and he said that he was required to entertain clients at times. A business lunch or dinner, he would say.

Prof H: Meaning?

Wacuka: That he would drink once or twice a month. Mind you, he didn’t have much money and he needed to further his career, hence he could not afford to drink often.

Prof H: And nowadays I presume he drinks daily.

Wacuka: Yes. And leaves me to mind the family, the family business and the family farm. Very stressful; not to mention the embarrassment he causes his family. If I was a lesser being, I would have committed suicide or turned to alcohol a long time ago. Now and then, though, I contemplate doing precisely that; suicide, liquor or go mental.

Prof H: This daily drinking, when did it start?

Wacuka: Yes, this daily drinking… There was this time when he was sacked from his job and though he was given quite a golden handshake, he didn’t adjust well. Furthermore, I had to support him, myself and two children. Well, I was not going to have it- I got married so that I could be taken care of; period! I was not going to support a lousy bum of a man- that much I stated clearly. Anyway, what kind of a man expects to be fed by his wife? And did ultimatums I gave! Get a job, get out or I get out! Finally, he landed a job as a low placed clerical worker. That’s when the drinking started.

Prof H: What of his father? Did he drink too?

Wacuka: His father passed away when he was little. He was raised by his mother and his grandparents. His grandfather was a drinkard, though.

Prof H: A drinkard?

Wacuka: He drank almost on a daily basis, but you would never see him staggering around or insulting people.

Prof H: I see. What about your husband, is he a drinkard too?

Wacuka: Hee…! A drinkard? You should see him! Sleeping in ditches, urinating on himself, blaring idiotic songs like a radio… (She gets up and imitates Wanjohi.)

Njohi ũtũire ũĩ
Wĩ mũtongoria wakwa

The children are home because of school fees.
Amu kĩrabu nĩ gĩakwa
Njohi ndingĩkwĩricũkwo

There is no flour in the house.

Ikeno iranginyĩra
Cia arĩa makundire mbere

The land rates have not been paid.

Nandingĩhutio nĩ maithori
Ma arĩa ndigire mũciĩ.

The electricity bill is due… What a shoe of a husband! Bure kabisa! Empty coconut in the head! I think God lent his share of wisdom to King Solomon. He is a hundred per cent certified drunkard. Two hundred per cent even.


Prof H: Indeed there is a problem.

Wacuka: A drinking problem.

Prof H: You have a problem too, as his wife.

Wacuka: A problem? But he is the one doing the drinking! (Aside.) It seems this marriage counsellor has a problem too. She doesn’t know what she is talking about. Perhaps this PhD thing of hers stands for ‘Pengine Hana Degree.’

Prof H: What I mean is that he is an alcoholic addict while you have a problem in communication. You see, there is a link between, the two.

Wacuka: Well, I don’t see.

Prof H: There are some reasons why people abuse alcohol. Some do it to escape daily pressures and stress, some out of boredom and some for the thrill it brings them.

Wacuka: Ati I should not pester him to support his family! If this PhD doesn’t stand for Potential Home Destroyer, then I’d be damned!

Prof H: (Assuming her.) Therefore, one drinks to forget his problems. The drink wears off. The problems are still there. He drinks again; it turns into a cliché… a vicious cycle. As the drinking continues, the body’s tolerance to it increases. This means that if, for example, he took two drinks before he would get drunk, he would need to take three or four drinks to achieve the same effect. The alcohol alters bodily functions until one cannot do without it as the body craves for it. Furthermore, drinking becomes a pattern- a habit. In order to break the habit, you have to create a conducive environment in which the addict realises that he is an addict; a drunkard, not a drinkard, as you put it. From that point is when he can be helped.

Wacuka: And how do I make him realise that he is an alcohol addict in order that he might be helped?

Prof H: As I said, you have to create an environment that is conducive for him to accept himself for what he is: an addict. One, you can start by becoming non-judgemental; place yourself in his shoes, however awkward that might be.

Wacuka: By placing myself in his shoes, you mean that I should start thinking as he does?

Prof H: Yes. You see, there are many things that goes on in the mind of an alcohol addict. There is the denial stage in which he is in shock. “Not me!” He says. “I am a drinkard, not a drunkard!” There is the anger cum isolation stage in which he engages in self-stigma; essentially asking, “Why me?”

Wacuka: Does this mean that a drunkard will go through all these stages?

Prof H: Not necessarily. Some stages will overlap or be absent altogether, depending on an individual. That’s why it is good to convince him to visit a counsellor for professional help.

Wacuka: about the stages.

Prof H: Then comes the bargaining stage. “Maybe… if…” He thinks. “Maybe I wouldn’t have started drinking if my wife understood my predicament.” “If I didn’t lose that job, my wife wouldn’t have been so mad and…” Then the depression stage sets in. “I am useless.” He thinks. “Life is not worthy anymore.” He contemplates suicide. Then, it dawns on him. “Yes, it is me. I am a drunkard, not a drunkard.” Acceptance stage. Management starts from acceptance.

Wacuka: And once he accepts himself, how can I help him to stop drinking?

Prof H: Refer him to a counsellor who will counsel him and refer him to a support group.

Wacuka: A support group? What is it?

Prof H: This is a group of people who are alike in some particular category or status and have accepted themselves for what they are; for example drug addicts. Having gone through the same experience, they are better placed to help and encourage each other to reform. Empathy. In the case of your husband, he can join AA- Alcoholics Anonymous once he accepts himself as an alcoholic in need of help. The whole process is known as rehabilitation.

Wacuka: (Aside.) Have I understood even half of it? I think this PhD thing stands for Permanent Heart Disorder. (Addressing Prof H.) You mentioned something to do with communication.

Prof H: Yes- imperative towards leading someone into the acceptance stage. There is talking to someone and there is communicating to someone- very big difference. I once knew of a friend of a friend who had a very successful marriage. His secret? They were both actors. She –excellent at rhetoric. He- excellent at acting like he was listening.

Wacuka: (Chuckling.) Else, the wife should be dumb and the husband deaf as they say.

Prof H: When you are speaking and you want someone to listen, communication, you should do the following. Relax. Open up. Learn forward. Use eye contact and sit squarely; body articulation. This implies that you are paying attention. Then again, your communication should be CLEAR. In a nut nutshell;

  • C- clarity
  • L-listening
  • E- encourage
  • acknowledge/ audible
  • R- repeat/reflect

Wacuka: Thank you.

Prof H: One more thing. Remember that the sooner this is done, the better for everyone. You know, alcoholism can lead to death among many other things.

Wacuka: Death? Other things?

Prof H: Stomach ulcers, liver failure, impotence, irresponsible sexual behaviour leading to STIs and HIV infections, brain damage…

Wacuka: Brain damage? (Recalling something.) One beer for the price of three!!!! Special offer!!!… I was coming to that!! I am thinking of opening this church, ‘Drinkers’ Paradise’. It will be located on an upmarket neighbourhood and there on the outside it will feature a large notice: Sale! Sale!! Special offer!!! One beer for the price of three!!!!

Prof H: (Alarmed.) What is it? Are you alright?

Wacuka: (Coming out of the reverie.) It’s nothing. Continue.

Prof H: (Warily.) Well, I’d advise you to implement my advice at once before things get out of hand. Remember, a change of attitude is vital.

Wacuka: Like when we were first married. I’d cut the sukuma wiki to little bits- with lots of love. He’d bring a ‘quarter’ at the end of the day. Nowadfays, I cut the the sukuma wiki into prison bits and he hardly brings even matumbo home.

Prof: I see. You are now getting it.

Wacuka: And I’d… (The rest is acted out as the setting changes to Wacuka’s homestead. Enters a slightly inebriated but coherent Wanjohi.)

Wanjohi: (Grunting.) Good evening. (He makes as if to pass.)

Wacuka: (Stopping him.) Good evening. May I have your coat please? (A shocked Wanjohi permits him to remove the coat from his person.) Have a seat please. (Wanjohi sits down.) Please, may I serve you a glass of water?

Wanjohi: Ye… yes. (He is served with a glass of water.)

Wacuka: Let me prepare your bathing water. (She exits the room.)

Wanjohi: (Soliloquy.) May I have you coat please. Have a seat please. Please, may I serve you with a glass of water? That’s how a good wife ought to be. But not today. There is something fishy fgoing on… something bad about to happen to Wanjohi… dejavu… this might be my last supper… well, I am not waiting to find out what happens next! (A very shaken Wanjohi exits and heads off to his favourite drinking hovel. Wacuka appears and finds him gone.)

Wacuka: Wanjohi? Wanjohi? My dear, where are you? (Realising that he is gone, she starts calling out to the children.) Choppy! Mukiri! Ngomongo! Culvert! (All the children appear on the scene.) Have you seen your father?

Mukiri: I saw him go out of the gate. One more for the road, I guess. (Shrugs his shoulders.)

Choppy: What has he done this time?

Ngomongo: Has he insulted the headman again?

Wacuka: He is alright. It’s just that I wanted to talk to him; and at least he was a little sober.

Choppy: So, what do we do?

Mukiri: I guess we can wait. He always comes back.

Wacuka: Well, didn’t you hear what I said. That I wanted to talk to him and that he was a little sober.

Ngomongo: Okay. We’ll go and fetch him.

Wacuka: Please hurry. I must talk to him when he is sober. (Hurriedly, they exit the stage. In the meantime, Wanjohi has had one for the road –four to be exact- and is already returning home.)

Wanjohi: When the womenfolk start blaming men for all their troubles; trouble is brewing in the land. Big, big trouble. They say that all their troubles begin with we men… menopause… menstrual cramps… mental fatigue… Run brother run, for hell hath no fury as a woman blaming a man for all her troubles. (He collapses in a hopeless heap and where the children come to collect him and take him home.)

Choppy: (In a concerned voice as she tries to pick him up.) Father, are you alright? (Addressing Mukiri.) Don’t just ogle there, help me lift him up. (The children lift him up.)

Wanjohi: Leave me alone… I am a man… I can walk home on my own. ( He takes a step forward and almost falls, though the children are quick to support him. Ngomongo goes through his pockets.)

Choppy: What are you doing? Leave his pockets alone.

Ngomongo: Well, I need the money for the upcoming geography excursion. Mother wouldn’t give me the money.

Choppy: Can’t you at least have some pity? You know how much she struggles to feed us, clothe us, see us through school…

Ngomongo: (Extracting some coins from Wanjohi’s pockets.) Alright, I get your point. (She hands the coins to Choppy to be handed to Wacuka. They exit from the scene. Meanwhile, back at home…)

Wacuka: She said communication was vital. Relax. Lean forward. Sit squarely… No, no, no! Relax. Use eye contact… No, no, no! Relax. Open up… whatever. Well, today I will try to be nice. Today I will communicate. (In the course of which the children, together with their father, makes their entrance. A disappointed Wacuka makes her way to another room. Choppy follows her.)

Choppy: Here. He had a few coins with him. (She hands the coins over.) What is it you wanted to talk to him about?

Wacuka: Nothing. It doesn’t matter now. Go to the kitchen. On the upper right shelf, you will find some milk. Go and give it to him.

Choppy: Should I heat it?

Wacuka: No.

Choppy: Should I add some sugar on it?

Wacuka: No. You know how sugar is not good for your father as he is diabetic.

Choppy: Alright. (She makes her way to the kitchen. There, she finds Mukiri.)

Mukiri: Where did you place the tea leaves container?

Choppy: On the third shelf, I think. By t6he way, can you do me a favour? I need to go to Chebet’s house and borrow a maths textbook. Can you take this glass of milk to your father?

Mukiri: Certainly. It looks cold, though.

Choppy: (Hurriedly as she exits.) It’s alright. Take it to him. And yeah, no sugar.

Mukiri: (He mishears her.) Yeah, some sugar? Alright. (He tastes it.) I better warm it. (Which he does. Enters Ngomongo.)

Ngomongo: There you go again. Dirtying the utensils. I wish you were born a girl so you would know the pain of washing them.

Mukiri: Okay! Okay! I will leave them alone. (He makes as if to exit.)

Ngomongo: And whose milk is that?

Mukiri: Father’s. You can take it to him.

Ngomongo: (Tastes it.) Hmmm, no sugar… Should I add some?

Mukiri: Ummm… I think Choppy mentioned something about sugar. (He exits. Enters Culvert.)

Culvert: I am famished. Pass me the milk.

Ngomongo: You manner-less brat! You only think of yourself! The mind belongs to your father. Here, take it to him.

Culvert: (Tasting it.) Yummy! Though it has no sugar.

Ngomongo: I nearly forgot. Choppy said something about sugar. I think you should add some. (Culvert adds five or so tablespoonful.) Don’t you think that is too much sugar?

Culvert: Who cares? He is too drunk to notice anything. (He exits with the milk. A few seconds later, loud screams and shouts emanating from the living room are heard. Wacuka, Mukiri and Ngomongo rush in to find a screaming Culvert and a convulsing Wanjohi.)

Wacuka: (Hysterical.) What is it? What is wrong? Uuuuiiiii! Help!!

Culvert: I… I think it was the milk.

Wacuka: The milk? Was there sugar in it? (To which Culver nods weakly in the affirmative.) Uuuuiii! They have killed my husband-o! Quick! Let us rush him to the hospital! (Amid more shouts and screams, they exist.)


Scene Three: Act Two

All’s well…

(Wacuka has come across her friend, Wa Mucene, by the wayside.) There is some ululations, hugging and pecking of cheeks- mannerisms peculiar to women friends who have not seen each other for some time, more so when they are members of the Women’s Guild.)

Wacuka: Hee! Long-time no see!

Wa Mucene: Indeed, long-time no see, no hear, no talk! The Lord be praised! (More ululations, jigs, hugging, etc., etc.)

Wacuka: I even though: Perhaps Wa Mucene has left us; such a long time it has been.

Wa Mucene: (Playfully.) Even if I died, my ghost would have come to prod you to attend the funeral. (More laughter, etc.)

Wacuka: How are the children? The better half?

Wa Mucene: Fine, fine. And yours?

Wacuka: The children, fine. The husband, a gone case.

Wa Mucene: He is till drinking?

Wacuka: Only that it has become worse. Doctor of Drinking, he calls himself.

Wa Mucene: I, too, had the same problem with my dear. His folks had spoilt him. It was: spend, spend, daddy will send.

Wacuka: Lucky you. Me, I am at my tether’s end. It is now coffee harvesting season. He will spend a day or two helping us in the shamba in order to justify his getting the bonus money for drink.

Wa Mucene: I feel you, sister. I really do. In my case, I tried everything.

Wacuka: Men of God.

Wa Mucene: Witchdoctors.

Wacuka: Marriage counsellors.

Wa Mucene: Demonstrations against brewers.

Wacuka: Petitions to the president.

Wa Mucene: To no avail.

Wacuka: Totally to no avail.

Wa Mucene: Until I hit upon a master plan…

Wacuka: And he stopped drinking? Enhe, the master plan…

Wa Mucene: It was a coffee harvesting season… (They start to exit the stage.)

Wacuka: Just like this one. A coffee harvesting season…

Wa Mucene: He would need money for drink.

Wacuka: Just like he does. Money for drinks…(The voices trail off. Enters Wanjohi. He is carrying a plastic container. By his actions, we gather that he is in the farm, gathering coffee berries.)

Wanjohi: (Soliloquy) What a waste of time! Harvesting coffee berries while I could be out drinking. But these drinks are not given for free. They do not just pour out of the heavens. They are brewed; and the brewers want money for the drinks. This money, I tell you, it does not grow on trees… Actually, come to think of it, this money grows on trees. Coffee trees. But first, you have to gather the berries, sort them and take them to the factory. What the factory does with them after milling them, me I know not. Anyway, after some time, they do send you money and that is why I like them. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am wasting my time here in order to get some money which equals drinks. (The rest of the family joins him. They gather the berries while talking animatedly till around 2 pm.)

Wacuka: 2 o’clock! Let’s hurry home for lunch. (They exist to go home, though Wanjohi branches off in the opposite direction. Later on in the evening, Wanjohi will arrive home just as the rest of his family is done supping.)

Wanjohi: Good evening to everyone. Where is my supper?

Wacuka: I’ll go get it for you. (She exits. Wanjohi sits at his regular sofa and dozes off. The utensils are cleared and the children head off to sleep. Tonight’s dish was mukimo- a mashed meal made of coked maize, beans, potatoes and pumpkin leaves. Wacuka approaches Wanjohi with a dish of the same. Then, carefully so as not to wake him up, he applies bits of it on Wanjohi’s lips, beard and the front part of the shirt. The next morning, very earlier…)

Wanjohi: Why do I feel so weak today? Oh! I forgot to have supper. Wacuka! Wacuka! (She appears) Where is my supper?

Wacuka: Ululuyaye! Hee! Supper! Didn’t you curse me the whole of last night to heat it up for you?

Wanjohi: Well… I don’t remember eating it. Again, heat it up for me.

Wacuka: Hee! Which part of it don’t you remember? (She goes out and returns with a mirror which she forcefully thrusts in front of Wanjohi’s face.) There! See for yourself. Eating greedily and even forgetting to wipe your mouth. A fine example to the kids you are! (Wanjohi is unable to argue against the evidence.)

Wanjohi: Well, bring me breakfast.

Wacuka: What! My foot! Didn’t you see how much ripened the coffee berries are? We need to harvest them before they dry up; so there is no breakfast and lunch for the whole duration of the coffee harvesting season. That’s final! (The setting changes to that of a coffee farm where they harvest coffee berries until 3 pm then sort them abd take them to the factory- a very weak Wanjohi being part of the group. The whole supper thing goes on for three consecutive days, with Wanjohi getting weaker and weaker. On the third day, an exhausted Wanjohi collapses. He is given first aid and a hot meal prepared for him. When fully recovered, he mutters something to the effect that he has quit drinking.)

(Lights fade.)




(Slowly, the lights are turned on. Wanjohi and his whole family are on the stage. Wanjohi is dressed in an old fashioned suit and is clutching a bible- a church elder. Wacuka is attired in a Mothers Guild uniform. Choppy has a white overcoat on and a stethoscope around her neck. Mukiri is dressed in a kitenge suit and cap, Ngomongo in a power suit and Culvert in jeans and a t-shirt. Everyone is grown up, older.)

Wanjohi: What you have seen, dear friends, is the story of how I stopped drinking. Very many years back. It was tough, but I managed it.

Wacuka: Getting saved and becoming a church elder helped too.

Choppy: As well as turning into a grandfather.

Wanjohi: Of course, the best way to stop drinking is to never start drinking in the first place. Abstinence.

Wacuka: And to learn other ways of relieving stress.

Wanjohi: Well, I managed to stop drinking and now see what a wonderful family I have. However, were it not for my family, especially my dear wife, I wouldn’t have pulled it off. Indeed, it is true that a good wife comes from the Lord. I think she must have truly loved me to put up with me in my drinking years. (Wacuka dusts off an invisible speck of dust from the lapel of his coat.)

Wacuka: None is righteous, so says the scriptures. Everyone has his weakness and strengths but we continue living in God’s loving grace.

Wanjohi: And it behoves us to help each other overcome our weaknesses and enhance our strengths.

Wacuka: Very true. See how our family has been transformed- from the village joke to the village icons.

Wanjohi: My first born, Choppy, a happily married doctor. (Choppy takes a step forward and takes a bow.) and who would have thought that Mukiri (He steps.) would turn out to be a famous author? Already he has published two books, ‘How to Make One Million in One Hour’- though he is still poor, and ‘The Ramblings of a Lunatic’- which as a writer I suspect he may be. (Mukiri bows and steps back.) What about Ngomongo? (She steps forward.) She turned out to be a brimstone and fire lawyer and she has ambitions of becoming a non-tax paying honourable member of the August house; though why it is not called the January Cottage or  September Mansion eludes me. (She bows and steps back.) Finally, we have Karavati (Culvert steps in front), a successful businessman. Among others, he is the proud owner of two slaughter houses, five butcheries, six matatus, a hardware shop and a construction company among many other investments which I will not name for fear that you might mug him; but do I say? Yes, it pays to put God above everything.

(The curtains start to fall and the lights to dim. In the background can be heard ‘A True Friend’- softly at first, then gaining momentum.)

Through life’s valleys low
When you are feeling low
When you are about to slow
Yes, I’ll always be about
To carry you high.


The end.














































































































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Kombo : Waziri wa Kawi, Mhoihoi


Bi Ugomvi : Mkewe Kombo, Mhoihoi


Mjuaji : Binamuye Kombo


Bw. Tembo : Mzee wa Kijiji


Bi. Fitina : Mkewe Tembo


Msomi : Mwanawe Kombo


Fukara : Mwanawe Mjuaji


Jadi Mwalimu (J.M.) : Aliyekuwa mwalimu wa fasihi wa Msomi na Fukara katika shule ya upili, mhadhiri


Bw. Chapa : Mhariri wa gazeti la ‘Siku Zote’

Jane : Katibu wa Kombo

Mpole : Mfanyikazi katika Wizara Ya Kawi / Rafiki wa Kombo ; Mhoihoi


Mnyonge : Mfanyikazi katika Wizara Ya Kawi/ Msapere


Mzushi : Mfanyikazi katika Wizara Ya Kawi / Msapere


Ali : Muuzaji katika kioski cha maakuli / Mkosa Kabila


Waziri : Waziri aliyemtangulia Kombo








Otieno : Mfanyikazi katika Wizari ya Kawi


Kamau:  Mfanyikazi katika Wizari ya Kawi




Wakili : Anayeongoza mashtaka dhidi ya Kombo


Askari  wa korti       








Mama Uji






(Ukumbini mwa Kombo tunawaona Bi.  Ugomvi, Bw. Tembo, Bw. Chapa, Bi. Fitina na Mjuaji wakipiga gumzo huku wakijiburudisha kwa vinywaji wakimgonja Kombo. Upande mmoja mwa viti vya kifahari walivyoketia ni Bi. Ugomvi na Bi. Fitina na upande mwingine ni hao majibaba watatu. Wote wanakunywa chai ya tangawizi ila Bw. Tembo anayejiburudisha na kileo aina ya Tusker’).

Bw. Tembo : Ya malimwengu haya! Yaani siku hizi maji mazito kuliko damu!

We Muumba tuonee imani.

Bi. Ugomvi :  Acha masihara wee! Kwani nani kafanya uwe mzee wa kijiji?

Siye? Acha upunda wee fadhila zako zisiwe mateke!

Bi. Fitina : Hata! Fyata ulimi wako ewe mwanamke mchimvi. Kwani nani

kamletea kura za kijiji cha Bohari akaja kuwa mbunge? Mmmh!

Kujisifu kulikoni!

Mjuaji : Basi! Hasira isije ikawa hasara ; ilhali mwenye boma hayuko.

(Kimya kinatawala kwa muda hadi pale Bw. Tembo anapogutuka na kujizungumzia kwa sauti ya juu)

Bw. Tembo : Ukweli wa wahenga huu. Kenda karibu ya kumi bali kenda

fumbata si kumi nenda uje kesho.

Bi. Ugomvi : Huu sio uhasama nini ?

Bw. Tembo : Sina neno ila nafsi yangu kashangaa jinsi mababu zetu

walivyobashiri ya usoni. (Kimya hadi pale mlango unapobishwa. Hakuna anayejibu. Mlango unabishwa mara ya pili na kisha Kombo anafungua na kuingia ndani.

Kombo : Sabalkheri !  (Hawaitikii salamu na anapowatazama vema anaona

wana simanzi). Kwani nani kafa ? Wajua tangu uliponipigia simu (akiashiria Bw. Chapa) mawazo mengi yamenikaba. Labda mjombangu au mcheja wangu kaaga dunia kwani hatujawahiana hivi karibuni.

Bw. Chapa : Si hayo. Watu huko wako wazima. Mcheja wako kakusalimia na

pia kanisihi nimfikishie bintiye (akiashiria Bi. Ugomvi) heri.

Bi. Ugomvi : Naam, basi kazipokea.

Bw. Chapa : Mjomba wako yu mzima na kama wanenavyo watu wa Bara

‘simwone simba kanyeshewa’ ‘ kadhani ni paka’ kwani fununu        zimetapakaa mtaani kote kuwa yuataka kuchukua mke wa nne.

Kombo : Mmmh; kweli. Mwanamke ndiye atakayekuwa upotofu au uongofu

wake. (Wote waliomo chumbani wanacheka kidogo kisha wananyamaza. Wakati huu wote Kombo amekuwa akiwasalimia  kwa mkono na kisha anaketi kitini karibu na Bi. Ugomvi ambako mna nafasi.

Bi. Ugomvi : (Huku akiondoka). Basi wacha nikamletee bwanangu kinywaji. Siku hizi

amekuwa kombo – ukimletea kahawa ataka chai; ukimletea chai adai soda. Sijui

kapagawa na pepo gani. Mawazo anayo mengi hadi nahofia afya yake. (Wote

wanamtazama Kombo anayekunja sura na kuyainua mabega akijaribu kuonyesha hakuna

lolote linalomkera. Mkewe anarudi na kikombe cha kahawa).

Kombo : Shukran. (Kimya kinatawala kwa muda huku kila mtu akijiburudisha.

Mazungumzo yanarejelewa tu pale kila mtu  akishamaliza kinywaji chake. Bi. Fitina na

Bi. Ugomvi wanavichukua vyombo toka mezani na kuelekea navyo jikoni. Bw. Chapa

anakohoa kidogo kusafisha koo na kisha anaanza kuwapa ngano.?

Bw. Chapa : Kaondokea chenjaga

Kajenga nyumba kakaa

Mwanangu mwanasiti

Kijino kama chikichi

Cha kujengea kikuta

Na vilango vya kupitia


Hapo kale paliondokea mtu kwa jina Hamdi; maanake sifa kwa Mwenyezi Mungu. Enzi hiyo watu na wanyama walizungumza lugha moja na kuishi pamoja kwa furaha na amani. Huyu Hamdi aliishi pangoni ila siku moja fikira za kujenga nyumba nzuri zikamjia. Basi alfajiri ya kuamkia akakusanya mbao na kujijengea nyumba nzuri ajabu. Wanyama wengine sasa wakawa wanamwonea kijicho ila hawakuudhihirisha wivu wao waziwazi. Siku moja Tembo (wote wanamtazama Bw. Tembo, naye anatabasamu) akawa ametoka kumtembelea rafikiye Simba na alipokuwa njiani karibu na nyumba ya Hamdi, kukaanza kunyesha. Mvua ilianguka kwa fujo naye Tembo akawa hana budi ila kwenda kwa Hamdi.


“Hodi, hodi wenyeji.” Mlango ukafunguliwa na Hamdi akajitokeza.

“Karibu, karibu. Wataka nini?”

“Tafadhali waweza niruhusu niingize mkonga na pembe zangu chumbani mwako

ili zisinyeshewe?”

“Naam, hamna shida.” Huko nje matone ya mvua yakizidi kuwa makubwa.

“Tafadhali waweza kuniruhusu niyaingize masikio yangu ndani yaache

kunyeshewa? Yakinyeshewa zaidi huenda yakapooza nami nikajipata kiziwi.”

“Naam, naam. Sioni shida yoyote.”

Huko nje mvua ikawa inanyea kwa kasi mno nao mtindo ukawa huo huo, huku

chumba kikizidi kuwa kidogo kuwatosheleza Hamdi na Tembo. Basi miguu ya

mbele ikaingia. Nayo ikafuatiwa na tumbo, miguu ya nyuma hadi pale ncha ya

mkia ikakwisha ingia. Naye Tembo akafurahishwa sana na vile nyumba ya Hamdi

ilivyopambwa na kwa uovu wake, akamrusha Hamdi nje kupitia dirishani.

Maskini Hamdi akanyeshewa vilivyo na kulowa lowe lowe. Mradi tu mvua

kwisha, akashika njia moja kwa moja hadi kwa mfalme Simba kushtaki jinsi vile

Tembo akawa na utovu wa adabu.


Kumbe, Simba na Tembo kafanya hila kumrithi Hamdi nyumba yake viharamu. Basi, Hamdi akaambulia patupu. (Kimya huku kila mmoja, ila Bw.   Chapa, akitafakari kuhusu funzo litokanalo na hiyo hekaya. Kwisha kuona wametafakari vilivyo, Bw. Chapa anaendelea).


Swali ni hili, kati yetu, nani Tembo? (Kimya kikuu huku baadhi yao wakijishuku huenda wakawa ndio Tembo).




Onyesho la Kwanza (Mlungula)

(Kwenye lango kuu la kuingilia Wizara Ya Kawi, tunawaona Askari Kombo na Askari Mpole. Wote wameajiriwa hapo kama mabawabu. Wamepewa mamlaka ya kuwaruhusu au kutowaruhusu watu kuingia humo ndani. Kila wanapoliruhusu gari kuingia ndani,wanampa dereva kibao Kidogo na ambacho anafaa kukirudisha ili aruhusiwe kutoka na gari humo ndani.  Pii, pii, pii – honi ya motokaa inalia huko nje. Askari Kombo anaelekea huko).


Kombo : Mjinga wee, kwani hujui kusoma! Huoni hiki kibao kimeandikwa ‘Tafadhali

piga honi mara moja tu.’Ama wajiona kuwa wa kwanza kuendesha ‘Mercedes


Dereva : Samahani. Nilitaka tu kumwona waziri kwani……..

Kombo : Hayuko!

Dereva : Lakini waliahidiana na mwajiri wangu nije leo kum….

Kombo : Masikio umeyatia pamba au nini? Hayuko! Hayuko! Hayuko!

Dereva : Basi, kama hayuko, wacha niende zangu nikamfikishe tajiri wangu ujumbe huo.

(Anaasha gari na kuanza kuigeuza. Kabla ya kumaliza shughuli hiyo, Kombo


Kombo: Tajiri wako alikuwa na nia gani na waziri?

Dereva: Alitaka tu nimletee hedaya fulani. Kama shukrani kwa kazi nzuri waziri


Kombo: Mwajiri wako ni yule bepari anayeimiliki kampuni ya “Umeme Mashambani?”

Dereva: Naam, haswa. Ni mtu mwema kweli kweli anayejali maslahi ya watu huko

mashambani. Yaani ameapa kuwa atahakikisha mashambani kote kuna umeme

miaka mitano ijayo.

Kombo: Leo kuna baridi ajabu, ilhali majira ya kipupwe mwezi juzi. (Kimya. Kombo

anakohoa na kuendelea na gumzo). Tajiri wako ndiye alibahatika kuipata hiyo

kandarasi ya kueneza umeme nchini kote. Kabahatika kweli kweli, kama

mwana aliyezaliwa ijumaa.

Dereva: Ndugu nakufahamu. Chai ndiyo wahitaji uache kuihisi baridi kali.

(Anauzunguka mbuyu naye Kombo anamfungulia lango apite ndani kumuona

waziri. Kombo analifunga lango na kurudi katika kibanda chake na Mpole huko

wakiwangoja ‘wagonjwa’ wengine watakaohitaji huduma zao maalum za


Mpole:  Kwa kweli hawakukosea walipokuita Kombo; wewe ni ‘musikari kombo’ –

Askari Kombo kweli kweli. Mimi ilibidi niitwe Mpole, jina la msimbo, aghalabu

nifiche asili ya kabila langu. Asili yake msimbo.

Kombo:Rafiki usinilaumu. Wewe wafahamu vizuri jinsi gharama ya maisha yazidi

kupanda, nao mshahara ni ule ule mshahara duni. Wewe una shahada ya

Biashara kutoka chuo kikuu, nami vile vile ninayo ya uhandisi, lakini wapi

kazi?Hamna.Ikatubidi tujikune tujipatapo, sasa ni mabawabu. Mtazame huyo

waziri wetu Mhoihoi, ajua nini kuhusu nishati? Hata nasikia kuwa hakumaliza

darasa la saba. Lakini yu wapi leo? Waziri mzima. Kuhitimu kwake ni upara,

mvi na utambi. Wajua nini, dunia ya leo yataka umjue mtu, sio ujue kitu.

Mpole:  Nakubaliana nawe, ila punguza sauti; kuta zina masikio, tusijipate pabaya.

wamkumbuka Jinai, alifeli katika mtihani wake wa kidato cha nne. Sasa yuko wapi?

Kombo: Siku hizi ni msimamizi mkuu katika shirika la Reli.

Mpole:  Na si hiyo tu, ana mabasi kumi ya kuabiri humu jijini.

Kombo: Na bibiye ni daktari anaye zahanati zake tatu binafsi humu jijini.

Mpole:   Pamoja ya kuwa msaidizi mdogo katika hospitali kuu.

Kombo:       Basi. (Wanaonekana kuyainua mabega yao juu, labda kuashiria unyonge wao)

Mpole :                 (Hali yaendelea kama hapo awali huku watu wakija, kwa magari au kwa

miguu. Labda wakitaka kumwona waziri, mhandisi fulani, tarishi huyu ama yule,

msajili fulani n.k. n.k. Watu hawa ni wa rangi na maumbile tofauti tofauti. Kuna walio

wafupi kama nyundo, wanene kama viboko, wakonde kama fito, weupe kama theluji,

weusi kama lami, wenye kuvaa mavazi ya kifahari na wengine wenye kuvaa matambara

na ndala. Hata kuna pandikizi la mtu linalofika hapo huku limelewa chakari. Mtindo ni

ule ule, kuingia ndani ama kuitiwa fulani, lazima utoe kitu kidogo. Hiki kidogo ni cha

kuwawezesha hao mabawabu wawili wakumbuke kama fulani bado ‘anafanya kazi

hapo,’ au ‘ameenda safari’ au ‘amerejea kutoka safari ya mbali’ na ‘idara gani’

anakofanyia kazi. Pii, pii, pii. Kombo anaenda kutazama nani huyu anayepiga honi.).

Kombo: (Akijisemea kimoyomoyo). Siku hizi watu wamekuwa watovu wa nidhamu.

Waona maagizo yasema wapige honi mara moja tu, lakini wapi. Wanajisingizia

kuwa vipofu. (Akizungumza na Bi.Ugomvi aliyewasili kwa gari aina ya

‘Prado’) Wadhani sisi viziwi, eti hatuwezi sikia mpaka upige honi mara kadhaa.

Bi. Ugomvi: Usinianze wee, kinyago. Bado asubuhi asubuhi.

Kombo: Eti kinyago, usinitusi we hawara mkosa maadili.

Bi. Ugomvi : (Apiga msonyo kuonyesha dharau) Nnnkkk! Mkia wa mbuzi we, fanya

hima ufungue lango. Tayari umefanya nichelewe. Habari hizi za utundu wako

zikimfikia waziri nakuhakikishia mambo yako yatatumbukia nyongo.

Kombo:  Ngo! Huingii humu. Binti Sultan. (Anatamka maneno hayo ya mwisho kwa


Bi. Ugomvi: (Sasa ameshuka kutoka garini na kumkaribia Kombo). Nitakuonyesha

kilichomtoa kanga manyoya, gumba wewe.

Kombo:  Wangoja nini tasa. Hujui ngoja ngoja siku zote yaumiza matumbo. (Mpole

amesikia hizo kelele na ametoka kutazama nini kinachoendelea. Anamaka

anapomkuta Kombo akimenyana kimaneno na Bi. Ugomvi.]Mpole:Basi!Hasira

hasara.(Huku akimvuta Kombo kando na kumnong’onezea sikioni kuwa

Bi.Ugomvi ni mpendwa wa pembeni wa waziri.Huku haya yakijiri,Bi.Ugomvi

anaelekea kwenye nyuma ya gari na kurudi akiwa ametia gulamu mkononi.)

Bi. Ugomvi: Haya basi. Huyo mfidhuli na udume wake yu wapi. Aje hapa nimwonyeshe

dume ni nani? (Kombo ametulia tulii huku akimkodolea macho kama mtu

aliyeduwaa). Ala! Kumbe huko tayari kukutana na mauti yako!

Kombo:  (Amezinduka kidogo) Bibi nisamehe. Ni uchovu tu ulionifanya nikukaribishe

kwa cheche za matusi.

Bi. Ugomvi: (Bado akiwa na mori). Fanya hima ufungue lango. Leo ni leo, huo uchovu

wako utaisha leo. (Kombo anafanya kama alivyoagizwa. Bi. Ugomvi anaingia

ndani ya gari lake, huku Kombo amebaki nyuma akijuta, mpole pia anaonekana

huwa na wasiwasi.

(Ofisini mwa waziri. Bi. Ugomvi anaingia ndani hata bila ya kubisha mlango wala kumsalimu katibu wa waziri aliye na ofisi ndogo hapo nje. Waziri anashtuka kwani ameinama chini akifanya kazi kwa bidii. Baadaye, tunafahamu kuwa kazi anayoifanya kwa bidii ni usomi wa gazeti la Siku Zote.)

Waziri: Hata hodi?

Bi. Ugomvi: (Huku pumu zikimwenda mbio). Nataka umfute kazi huyo bawabu hapo

langoni mara moja!

Waziri:   Hata kujuliana heri.

Bi. Ugomvi: Hana hata tone la adabu.

Waziri:   Hebu pumzika kwanza.

Bi. Ugomvi: Maishani mwangu mwote sijawahi aibishwa hadharani kama hii leo.

Waziri:    Nawe ni wangapi kaaibisha hadharani?

Bi. Ugomvi: Paka mweusi ye….Hata wewe?

Waziri:    Kuuliza tu.

Bi. Ugomvi: (Anaketi chini kwenye kiti kilichoegemea ukuta kando na waziri). Dunia ya

leo yastaajabisha kweli. Mtoto wa juzi hana heshima kwa wazee wake.

Waziri:    Ikiwa wazee hawaonyeshi kustahili heshima basi…..

Bi. Ugomvi: Siku hizi uzee umekuwa ugonjwa wa kuepukwa.

Waziri: Tangu zama uzee kuwa ugonjwa ila watu hawakudhihirisha hayo wazi wazi.

Bi. Ugomvi: Haya basi, yatosha; ila huyo bawabu hapo langoni kanikosea heshima.

Waziri: ‘Honey,’ njoo uketi hapa. (Akiashiria paja lake).

Bi. Ugomvi: Ngo! Siji mpaka uniambie utakachomfanya huyo baradhuli.

Waziri: Baradhuli shababu mwenye uso jamali?

Bi. Ugomvi: Ndiye hasa.

Waziri: Ni wa kabila letu.

Bi. Ugomvi: Hivyo?

Waziri: Siwe wa kwanza kafanyia utukutu, nami namwamini na maisha yangu.

Bi. Ugomvi: Lakini ndimi wa mwisho. Leo nataka umsimamishe kazi.

Waziri: Ana shahada ya uhandisi, daraja la kwanza.

Bi. Ugomvi: Basi?

Waziri: Waijua hali yangu. Nina mke na watoto watano, nao wote vijana.

Bi. Ugomvi: Hayo yoyote nayafahamu vyema.

Waziri: (Anaonekana kuwa na mafikira ya mbali na ni kama mtu anayejizungumzia). Natamani angekuwa wa uzao wangu. Kijana mwenye kujitegemea na aliye na bidii ya mchwa. Sio kama wangu, bado wataraji tuwatoe kamasi puani ilhali wao watu wazima.

Bi. Ugomvi: Huyo kijana ana nini?

Waziri: (Bado kama anayejizungumzia). Mambo yakienda sawa, nataraji atanirithi uwaziri. (Bi. Ugomvi anaonyesha dalili za kumakinika kuhusu anayonena waziri. Anaangalia kando na kutabasamu kidogo, kisha analificha hilo tabasamu na kumgeukia waziri).

Bi. Ugomvi: (Kwa sauti ya utani). Kisha baada ya uwaziri. Ikulu aifanye kuwa makao yake rasmi, enhe?

Waziri: (Utani alokusudia Bi. Ugomvi umempotelea waziri). Yawezekana. Babu yangu kala chumvi nyingi kabla hajafariki, nami nilikuwa mjukuu mpendwa kati ya wajukuu wengi. Baba na mama maskini hohe hahe, nyumbani kwetu kufoka moshi labda mara mbili kwa wiki. Babu alinifunza mengi nami shukrani kwake milele. Wasaa wake wakutuacha ulipokaribia, alituita sisi, jamii yake kutupa buriani, nami nilikuwa wa mwisho.


Kati ya mawaidha aliyonipa ni kuwa lolote lawezekana, chini ya jua, kwani hakuna geni. Kisha akanipa baraka zake na nilipotaka kutoka humo chumbani, akanisihi nibaki ndani. Nilikuwa nimemshika mkono wa kulia alipokuwa akitapatapa huku yuakata roho. Isingekuwa ni yeye, leo mimi hata kunusia uwaziri ingekuwa ndoto. (Anaangalia kando na kuonekana kulifuta upesi tone la chozi. Bi. Ugomvi anashuhudia hili tukio, lakini hasemi neno. Wote sasa wanaonekana kuwa na mafikira). Baada ya kitambo kidogo, Bi. Ugomvi anaenda na kuketi juu ya paja la Waziri. Wanaangaliana kwa muda kisha Bi. Ugomvi anampa busu).

Bi. Ugomvi: Wanionaje? (Anaendelea kumpiga busu)

Waziri: (Huku akiutenga mdomo wake) Hapa ni ofisini enda polepole, mtu yeyote aweza kupenya ndani wakati wowote. Watu watanichukulia vipi wakinikuta nikimpa busu kipusa kama wewe na huu umri wangu?

Bi. Ugomvi: (Kwa utani) Watakuchukulia vipi, hebu nieleze? (Waziri sasa anaonekana kumpapasa mapaja Bi. Ugomvi.) Acha utundu we mzee mchimvi.

Waziri: (Sasa ameanza kuvifungua vifungo vya blauzi yake Bi. Ugomvi). Wajua mbona nakupenda? Wewe hunifanya nijihisi kama kijana mwenye nguvu tena. (Anaonekana mwenye kutaka kumvua kanchiri Bi. Ugomvi).

Bi. Ugomvi: (Akijitoa mikononi mwa waziri). Hebu kwanza. (Anaenda na kuufunga mlango wa ofisi kwa ndani. Huku nyuma, waziri anampigia simu katibu wake na kumweleza kunena kuwa waziri hayumo ndani ikiwa mtu yeyote  atahitaji kumuona. Bi. Ugomvi anarudi na wanaendelea kufanya mahaba. Sasa tunarudi huko kwenye lango ambako Kombo anaendelea kujuta kwa kumkosea Bi. Ugomvi heshima).

Kombo: Ningejuaje kuwa ana uhusiano na Bw. Waziri?

Mpole: Si kama umepewa barua ya kuuchishwa kazi tayari.

Kombo: Kodi ya nyumba nitalipaje? Chakula nitatoa wapi? Hebu nieleze hayo rafiki yangu.

Mpole: Mambo yakienda mrama, miye rafikiyo wakati wa dhiki.

Kombo: Siku zote mtumai cha nduguye hufa masikini.

Mpole: Kazi ingine utapata, labda hata nzuri zaidi

Kombo: (Anaanza kumlaumu Mpole) Mbona hukuniarifu kabla ya mimi kwenda kulifungua lango? Haya yote hayangetokea.

Mpole: Ningejuaje ni yeye na wala si mhitaji mwingine? Mimi sio malaika ela siku zote nakueleza usiende na kifua juu.

Kombo: Ole wangu, Mola nisamehe.

Mpole: Mara ngapi nakuambia kuwa bado kazi haujaachishwa?

Kombo: Mimi sasa ni kama mwenye saratani ya ubongo, mwisho wangu waja kwa hima.

Mpole: Hebu sikiza Kombo. (Kombo anaonekana kusikiza, ingawa si kwa umakinifu). Ikiwa waziri atakuita kukuachisha kazi, niite pia, nasi tutamgeuzia Kiswahili huyo hawara.

Kombo: Ni mpendwa wake waziri, wala si hawara.

Mpole: Na ikiwa waziri atakufuta kazi, pia naye atajuta. Mkewe tutamwarifu yale waziri afanyayo nyuma yake.

Kombo: Hayo siyawezi mimi. Waziri ndiye aliyenifanya kuipata hii kazi, na akinifuta, basi tuko sawa. Ila siwezi kumfanyia ukaidi kama huo unenao.

Mpole: Sisi tumetoka mbali, marafiki wa kufa kuzikana. Mimi kiokote nawe ndiwe jamii yangu, hata yote ulonifanyia siwezi kulipiza. Ukanichukua kwa wazazi wako ukawaeleza masaibu yangu, nao wakanilea kama mtoto wao. Wewe ni zaidi ya ndugu.

Kombo: Basi liwe liwalo, nitalipokea kama ndilo dua langu. Nitaanza upya. Kazi yoyote nitaifanya hata kama ni ya uhamali. Baadaye, naweza anzisha biashara ndogo nayo huenda ikanifaidi. Ya Mungu ni mengi. Labda hapo ndipo penye baraka zangu.

Mpole: Nami nitakuwa nyuma yako kukutia hima, ndugu.

(Sasa tunarejea huko ofisini mwa waziri. Wamemaliza kufanya mahaba na sasa kila mtu ameketia kiti chake binafsi. Bi. Ugomvi anaiasha sigara aina ya ‘ Benson and Hedges’ huku waziri akishindilia tumbaku kwenye kiko chake, kisha anaiwasha. Ofisi sasa imejaa harufu ya tumbaku huku moshi ukipaa kunako mtambo wa kusafishia hewa. Wanazungumza mara kwa mara huku mmoja akiendelea kuvuta sigara yake na mwingine kiko chake)

Bi. Ugomvi: Hebu nieleze kisa cha huyo bawabu wako mkosa utu.

Waziri: (Anavuta moshi kisha kuuachilia polepole mdomoni mwake, huko mwingine ukijitokeza puani).  Siku moja, nimo humo nyumbani mwangu sebuleni nastarehe. Mara mtwana wangu kajitokeza na kuniambia kuwa kuna mtu kataka kuniona faraghani. Mtu mwenyewe kijana wa makamu, mwenye uso na mwili wa kufanya nyoyo za wasichana kwenda kasi. Tabia zake mwafaka ila nguo alovaa zaonyesha kuwa hali yake si nzuri sana.

Bi. Ugomvi: Mmmh.

Waziri: Mimi siku hiyo nina mengi moyoni. Kuna kandarasi mimi kapeana kiharamu, nayo ikawa inaleta utatanishi mwingi. Adui ninao wengi na hayo yakajulikana, niko pabaya. Basi nikataka kumfukuza huyo mgeni, ela mtwana wangu kanikumbusha nimwambialo siku zote, kuwa babu yangu kanifahamisha walonena wahenga. Mja hakatai mwito, ela aitiwalo. Nami nikamshukuru kwa hayo. Basi kijana huyo akaletwa sebuleni mbele yangu.

Bi. Ugomvi: Ndiye yule bawabu.

Waziri: Ndiye hasa. Yeye kaletewa chai nami nikawa tu nikingoja. Alipomaliza, akaniambia kuwa ana ujumbe fulani unaoweza nifaidi, ila tu ujumbe huo utanigharimu. Mimi siku zote ni tayari kwa lolote tena mahasimu ninao tele. Nikamuuliza yeye ni nani, jamii yake ni nani na ataka nini toka kwangu.

Bi. Ugomvi: (Kwa sauti ya utani) Mfanya biashara kweli, huyo bawabu.

Waziri: Yeye kasema ni Mhoihoi na aila yake ni fulani na fulani. Kamtazama kwa muda ila haangali kando. Nikaona asema ukweli. Mimi nikamweleza kuwa sisi boma moja kwani kabila ni moja na mtu hafai kufaidi kwa dhiki imkumbayo wa kwao. Naye kijana mwenye kuelewa mambo haraka.

Bi. Ugomvi: Hata bila kuweko kwa fedha? (Anajifanya kumaka kusikia hili). Yamalimwengu haya.

Waziri: Nao ujumbe alonalo ni kuhusu uvumi alosikia kunihusu. Adui wangu mtu wa kabila la Wasapere, naye ataka huu wadhifa wangu. Naye siku hizo ni waziri msaidizi wangu. Ataka kunihujumu kwa kupatana na gazeti moja kuchapisha habari ya hiyo kandarasani. Mimi nina changu, hivyo nikamwita kando mhariri wa hilo gazeti. Nikamuuliza – ni uvumi upi nasikia wataka kuchapita kunihusu? Naye ni mtu muungwana, tukaafikiana. Kijana kanifaa kwa mvua, basi sina budi kumfaa kwa jua. Nikamwajiri hapa kama bawabu wangu na natumai kumpandisha madaraka hata ninapostaafu, auchukue huu wadhifa wangu. Naye msaidizi wangu kafutwa kazi. Ndiyo maanake siku hizi kazungukwa na kabila langu. Watu ninaoweza kuamini na kutegemea.


Bi. Ugomvi: Nyota yake yaanza kung’ara.

Waziri: Ila sikuwa nimekumalizia aliyoniambia huyo kijana juu ya hali yake. Watu wake hawana chao, lakini walijikakamua hata wakampeleka chuo kikuu, yeye na rafikiye (ambaye ni sawa na ndugu). Mimi siku zote nathamini elimu ingawaje sijasoma sana, tena kawa mhitaji kama yeye ujana wangu. Yeye amehitimu kama injinia, ila kote aendako hukaribishwa na vibao vya ‘Hakuna Kazi’. Ndiposa nikamtafutia yeye na rafikiye kazi hapa.

Bi. Ugomvi: Haya basi, nimemsamehe. Lakini mkanye hayo matusi, huenda yakafanya wizara hii na uwaziri wako kuonekana mbaya. (Anampa busu na kuondoka humo ofisini). Kwaheri ya kuonana. Endelea na kazi. (Anaashiria gazeti la ‘Siku Zote’).

(Sasa Bi. Ugomvi ako hapo langoni. Ametoka ndani ya gari na kuwaendea Kombo na Mpole. Wote wawili wanaonekana kuwa na wasiwasi mkuu kama vile paa anayewindwa na simba aliye kwenye kichaka kilicho karibu na ajitayarishaye kumrukia huyo paa. Bi. Ugomvi anakohoa kidogo).

Bi. Ugomvi: (Akimtazama Kombo). Samahani. Bw…..

Kombo: (Akijibu kwa sauti yenye kutetemeka) K…….Ko……..Kombo. (Yeye na Mpole wamestaajabu na wamemkodolea macho Bi. Ugomvi huku vinywa vyao vikiwa wazi).

Bi. Ugomvi: Samahani Bw. Kombo, wajua ilivyo siku hizi. Mtu huweza akawa na fikra nyingi hata akamkosea mwenzake……

Kombo: Nisamehe bibi kwa kuwa mkaidi ila……

Bi. Ugomvi: Mimi ndimi nafaa msamaha wako kwa kukuudhi asubuhi hiyo yote.

Kombo: ….nilikuwa nikijihisi vibaya na ndipo…….

Bi. Ugomvi: Haya basi, sote tumesameheana. (Wanatakiana mkono wa heri. Bi. Ugomvi anarudi kwenye gari lakenaye Kombo anaenda kulifungua lango. Bi. Ugomvi anatabasamu na kumkonyezea jicho Kombo pale anapompita. Kombo anajaribu kutabasamu pia, ila ni tabasamu la wasiwasi. Akisha ondoka, Kombo analifunga lango na kuendelea kupiga soga na Mpole).

Kombo: Nmph! (Anatoa sauti ya wasiwasi kumwondokea).

Mpole: Maajabu ya ulimwengu haya! Leo ya Musa kapita ya Firauni!

Kombo: Acha matumaini ilhali mwisho wa hili jambo hatujauona.

Mpole: Nilikuambia kuwa kazi haiishi. Nadhani huo uso wako ulilidata penzi lake. (Anamgonga Kombo kwa ucheshi kwenye bega). Rafiki nakuonea kijicho kwani kila mwanamke ataka kukufanya uwe wake.

Kombo: Acha mzaha we. Hujui tarishi aweza kuja saa yeyote na barua toka kwa waziri ya kuachishwa kazi kwangu?

Mpole: Labda Bi. Ugomvi angekuwa mkewe, hayo yangetukia.

Kombo: Wanaume wamefanya hayo na mengi sababu ya wanawake.

Mpole: Nakuhakikishia tu kuwa huyo ni wa kumfanya waziri asahau uzee wake. (Wote wanacheka). Ama wasemavyo Wazungu, yeye ni ‘gold digger’ maanake mgaagaa na upwa. Wote natumai wanaelewa hivyo ‘otherwise’ wafikiri kwa nini Bi. Ugomvi akageuka na kuwa mzuri kwako?

Kombo: Acha utani we.

Mpole: Siku hizi maisha yamekuwa magumu kweli. Kujilisha mwenyewe taabu, bibi na watoto je?

Kombo: Hayo usemayo ni kweli tupu. Wanawake wa siku hizi hatuwawezi, aidha ataka umuoe na kumfanyia kila kitu au amesoma sana na ana chake. Na ikiwa amesoma sana, haoni watu ovyo kama sisi, ila tu ataka mume waziri au bwanyenye.

Mpole: Na ikiwa ni mke wa nyumbani, basi kazi tu kuzaa ovyo ovyo kama panya. Elimu ya kupanga uzazi ipo, lakini wapi? Hafaidi kitu.

Kombo: Kisingizio eti Mola kamwambia Hawa aujaze ulimwengu.

Mpole: Ila ulimwengu kaja tayari. Tena Hawa ni mmoja. (Kwa sauti ya ucheshi). Hata wanasayansi wangefanya bora watafute mbinu za kuhamisha wengine wetu na kuwapeleka sayari nyinginezo. (Wote wanacheka kidogo).

Kombo: Nazo nyumba za jijini wazifahamu zilivyo. Hapo ndipo sebuleni, ndipo jikoni, ndipo pa kulala. Hata saa zingine huenda ikawa ndipo pa kuogea au pa kuendea msalani.

Mpole: Hata umenikumbusha wimbo fulani nilosikia. Mwimbaji huo ameileza aila yake kuwa wakimtembelea hapo jijini, wajue kuwa hawatalala hapo. Kama wanataka kuwa wageni wa kulala siku kadha wa kadha, basi itawalazimu wamtembelee akiwa huko nyumbani mashambani. Eti jijini kaja kutafuta tu hela.

Kombo: Nami kadhani kuwa mgeni ni baraka.

Mpole: Msemo wa kale ni mgeni njoo, mwenyeji apone’ ila watu wa jijini wameugeuza ukawa ni ‘mgeni njoo, mwenyeji ataabike.’ Nami siwalaumu kamwe kwani hali imebidi kuwe hivyo.

Kombo: (Kwa kejeli) Huo ndio niitao ustaarabu!

Mpole: Sasa imetubidi tuwe makapera, kazi tu kutamani wanawake.

Kombo: Hali hii ni ya kutaabisha kwelikweli. Sisi tu huwala kwa macho. Siku hizi huyo mwanadada aendae msikitini au kanisani siku zote ndiye awezaye kukusambazia kisonono ama ukimwi.

Mpole: Nyakati hizi ni afadhali hata kumchukua hawara kama mke, kwani kila mnapojihusisha na ngono, itakubidi utumie kinga.

Kombo: Nayo mipira si kinga kamili. Huenda tayari muda wake wa matumizi umekwisha au ikapasuka kitendoni, ukalichungulia kaburi lako pasi kutaraji.

Mpole: Ndiyo maana sisi bado makapera, nao ukapera watuumiza. Ukitoka kazini umechoka, navyo vyombo vya kungojea nyumbani. Ukisha visafisha, upige nyumba deki, kisha uteke maji. Baadaye, ujihusishe na upishi kwani vyakula vya hoteli ni ghali, tena havishibishi.

Kombo: Ilhali wengine wetu kabahatika kweli kweli. Tumchukue huyu waziri wetu, mke anaye na bado hatosheki. Sasa ana uhusiano na Bi. Ugomvi, mwanamke rika moja na bintiye. Huyu mwanamke kaumbwa kaumbika, wale tusemao kuwa Mola alichukua wakati wake kuwaumba, tena kujikwatua akufahamu vyema zaidi. Ana wajihi na tabasamu la kupendeza, matiti yaliyosimama wima na miguu iliyonyooka vizuri, ngozi laini kama ya mwana wa juzi. Kasoro tu ni hiyo tabia ya kupenda ugomvi, ila akapata mume mzuri, huenda akabadilika.

Mpole: Ndugu usiwe na tumaini sana, hawa ni wale wanawake wajifanyao kustaarabika, eti wanawake huru. Hawasemwi hawasemezeki.

Kombo: Ni kuwaza tu.Waujua ule wimbo wa ‘Nataka usiku moja nawe.’

Mpole: Ndio, naufahamu vyema.

Kombo: Basi akanipa usiku moja tu, naweza mpa uhondo kwelikweli. Akawa akiniwaza akiniwazua mchana kutwa na usiku kucha. Akija tena nitaijaribu bahati yangu.

Mpole: Wee! Tahadhari kabla ya athari ndugu! Unacheza na moto nao utakuunguza. Ushasahau vile karibu tuwe mashakani kwa sababu yake? Heri ya Bi. Ugomvi tumwachie Waziri. (Honi inalia na Kombo anaenda kutazama ni nani. Hali ni kama ya hapo awali na mhitaji akishatoa mrungura, Kombo anamwitia msajili fulani. Msajili anaelekea kwenye lango na kuzungumza kwa muda na huyo mhitaji, kisha anarudi ofisini mwake. Anarejea na jalada na kumpa huyo mhitaji. Mhitaji anaondoka ndani ya gari lake. Mazungumzo kati ya Mpole na Kombo yanaendlea).

Kombo: Aliyekuja na huu uvumbuzi wa chai astahili kupewa tuzo la ‘Nobeli’

Mpole: Kabisa nakubaliana na hayo. Amerahisisha maisha ya akina yahe. Kama tungekuwa tu wategemeaji wa mishahara yetu, tungekuwa pabaya. Gharama za maisha zapanda kila siku ila mshahara tu ni ule ule duni.

Kombo: Hii chai ama wasemavyo watu wa Bara, ‘kitu kidogo,’ nimefikiria juu yake kwa siku nyingi. Hata nikapiga hesabu nikaona ya kuwa mwezi ukiwa mzuri, huenda ikawa ni mara tatu ya mshahara.

Mpole: Mi nimesomea Biashara na kwa kweli mtu akipanga mambo yake vyema, huenda akafaidi sana siku za usoni. Hiki kitu kidogo chaweza kuwa cha wastani au kikubwa; inategemea ni nani apeanaye na anataka kumwona nani. Nadhani ni vyema kama tukifungua biashara yetu wawili, tuwaajiri watu kuiendesha huku tukiendelea kuzishikilia kazi zetu. Ikiwa jambo moja litatumbukia nyongo, tuwe na pa kusimama.

Kombo: Naam. Naona hilo ni shauri jema. Tulifikirie zaidi na tufanye mipango kabambe. (Taa zinafifia kwenye jukwaa).


























Onyesho la pili (Mpanda ngazi……….)

(Kombo ameanza kuikwea ngazi ya madaraka. Kwa sasa, ni msimamizi wa ulinzi katika hiyo wizara. Ameendelea na masomo yake ya uhandisi na kufuzu kama mhadhiri wa uhandisi katika chuo kikuu; ila mafunzo mengi huyatekeleza wakati wa jioni. Msaidizi wake ni rafikiye Mpole ambaye pia ni mhadhiri wa somo la biashara katika chuo kikuu. Biashara yao imefana nayo ni ya kuuza mitambo na vifaa vya kueneza umeme. Wao ndio walio na kondrati ya kuleta vifaa na mitambo hiyo katika wizara hiyo. Wamepewa ofisi yao ndogo na tunawaona wakipiga soga.).

Mpole: Siku zote nikikueleza kuwa Mungu hamwachi mja wake, nawe kazi tu kupingana. Sasa tuangalie tulipo, na huu ni mwanzo tu.

Kombo: Hata katika ndoto zangu, sikutaraji haya. Ya Mungu kweli makubwa. Miaka miwili tulikuwa wapi? Langoni pale (akiashiria kunako lango) tukisumbuana na watu wasokuwa na shukrani. (Anaangalia saa ya ukutani . Inaonyesha kuwa ni saa sita kasorobo. Anaichukua simu na kumpigia mmoja wa wale mababu walio kwenye lango).

Kamau , mambo yote shwari?

Kamau : Ndiyo mkubwa. (Kombo anaikata simu na kisha anaonekana kuandika jambo Fulani kwenye jalada iliyoko mezani. Akishafanya hivyo, anafungua mtoto wa meza na kuitia jalada hapo ndani. Kisha analifunga).

Kombo: Siku hizo wangeturahisishia kazi kama hapo kibandani mngekuwa na simu.

Mpole: Sikubaliani nawe. Wajua nini, huko kwenda maofisini kwa fulani na fulani kuwasaka kulituwezesha tudai mrungura wa juu kuliko kama tungempigia huyo fulani simu.

Kombo: (Baada ya kutafakari hayo kwa muda) Enyewe ni kweli. Ila sasa imeturahisishia kazi. Kila akija mwenye gari hapo langoni, lazima bawabu atupigie simu atueleze ni nani. Hivyo, tunawea kumwarifu kiasi cha chai atakachofaa kutoa huyo mhitaji.

Mpole: Nasi si wachoyo tujifikirie tu. Wakujao kwa miguu, hao ni mali ya mabawabu.

Kombo:  Naona saa zetu za kutafuta chakula cha mchana zimewadia. Leo na tuende kwenye hoteli ya ‘Grand Hotel’.

Mpole : Huko si ni kuharibu tu pesa ? Afadhali twende tu kwenye kioski cha Mama Uji. Chakula ni bora na tena si ghali.

Kombo : Mabawabu na wafanyikazi wengine wote wa kawaida hutokomea huko. Nasi huenda wakatuzoea vibaya na kutuvunjia heshima. Mabepari na watu mashuhuri wengi huenda tukapatana nao huko Grand Hotel. Mambo    yetu yakazidi kuwa mazuri).

Mpole : Nitaenda tu kwa ajili yako. Ila naoni ni kuharibu fedha, nazo hazioti mitini. Gharama ya staftahi hapo yatosha maakuli ya mwezi mzima kwenye kioski cha Mama Uji.

Kombo : Ndiyo, ila fedha tu huwaendea wenye fedha. Wakristo watakueleza hayo ; kuwa aliye na nyingi, ataongezewa nyingi ilhali asiye, hata kidogo alichonacho atanyangangwa. Hayo yako kwenye Bibilia, Matayo 25 : 14-30. Nao wenye fedha hawapatikani kwenye kioski cha Mama Uji. Na hizi fedha uzililiazo, kuwa tuataka kuziharibu, zitakufaidi nini ukafa leo ? Bora sisi wenye kuzichumia tuziharibu, wenyewe tuonje utamu wake. Mimi kajiahidi kuwa ya dunia hayatanipita. Mama Uji na ya ‘Grand Hotel’ yote mamoja. Nimeshayaona na kuyaonja ya Mama Uji, sasa ni zamu ya kuyaona na kuyaonja ya ‘Grand Hotel’.

Mpole :  Haya twende. (Wanavaa makoti na kuondoka kuelekea kunako ‘ Grand Hotel’. Njia ya kwenda huko ni moja na ile ya kwenda kwenye kioski cha Mama Uji. Wafanyikazi wengine wadogo (kabila la mabawabu ; akina Kamau)

wanamaka kuwaona Kombo na Mpole kupita hicho kioski kuelekea ‘Grand Hotel’.

Kamau : Leo wajiona bora kuliko sisi. Eti hawawezi kula sima na matumbo hapa ; lazima wakale vyakula vyenye majina magumu kutamka huko. (Akiashiria ‘Grand Hotel’. Wafanyikazi wengine wanacheka).

Otieno : Ndugu vumilia, labda kesho wakubahatika huenda ikawa ni wewe. Ela wahenga wakanena kuwa ‘mpanda ngazi hushuka’. Leo nikitaka  kumuona Kombo anipe nyongeza ya mshahara, sasa nyongeza imepotelea mbali. Kesho, hata salamu za Mungu hatuzipokei ; dhuluma kaanza.

Kamau : Nami kajihadaa eti ufashisti ulienda na Wazungu waliporejea kwao. Kumbe siku zote upo !

Otieno : Si geni. Ni kawaida ya binadamu kujisifu ; huku haoni kuwa kujisifu kwake kunamdhulumu jirani yake. Kesho ukawa rais sitaraji kukuona hapa kwenye hiki kioski ukila ugali na maharagwe ya deni. (Wote waliomo wanacheka).

(Kombo na Mpole sasa wako ndani ya ‘Grand Hotel’. Wameelekezwa kwenye meza moja ya mduara na kuketi hapo. Meza yenyewe imepambwa kwa kitambaa cheupe na katikati yake mna maua. Wote wawili wanaonekana kuchanganyikiwa, kama watu wasiostahili kuwa hapo. Mpole anamnong’oneza Kombo).

Mpole : Hapa sisi hatufai, huoni jinsi wateja wengine wanavyotuangilia kama sisi tu watu waliopotea njia ? Turudi huko tutokako kwa Mama Uji.

Kombo : La, hasha ! Nyuma haturudi. Tukirudi huko watu watatusema sana, wala hatutasikia mwisho wake.

Mpole : Tutawadanganya kuwa tulikuwa tumealikwa huko na bwanyenye fulani wa fulani.

Kombo : (Anaonekana kusitasita). Bora tule hapa leo, ya kwanza na ya mwisho. (Wakati huu mngoja meza anajitokeza na kuwapa kijitabu kidogo kilicho na orodha ya vyakula vyote vinavyopatikana hapo. Kimeandikwa kwa lugha ya Kiingereza na kina vyakula kama vile ‘Boiled Hedgehog,’ ‘Steamed porcupine with macaroni,’ ‘Recycled baked beans,’ minced lobsters and grilled shrimps’ n.k. n.k. Kwa bahati nzuri, Bi. Ugomvi anajitokeza).

Bi. Ugomvi : Mmeshindaje ?

Kombo :

Mpole :       Vyema (Wote wawili wanajibu kwa haraka. Kombo moyo unamwenda mbio.)


Bi. Ugomvi: Naweza kujiunga nanyi?

Mpole: Karibu.

Kombo: Kar….kar…..karibu.

Bi. Ugomvi: Ahsante. (Akisha keti, anakichukua kijitabu chenye orodha ya vyakula na kukifunga huku akicheka).

Mngojameza: Wataka nini bibi?

Bi. Ugomvi : Wajua mimi hali yangu ilivyo. Hivi vyakula vyenu vya ustaarabu siviwezi kamwe. Ningeshukuru sanakama ungetuandalia sisi sote watatu pilau na mchuzi wa nyama. (Inaonekana kuwa Bi. Ugomvi wanamfahamu vyema. Mngoja-meza anaenda kuwatafutia hivyo vyakula walivyoagiza). Siku ya kwanza kuja hapa, nilitaka kujionyesha mstaarabu, hivyo nikaagiza ‘Boiled Hedgehog,’ nayo yaonja kama kitumbua kilichotumbukizwa kwenye jivu na kutiwa munyu mwingi. Nikawashwa kweli kweli ila nikajikaza kisabuni nikamaliza mlo wangu. Kuendesha nikaendesha juma moja, ukawa mwisho wangu wa kula ‘Boiled Hedgehog’ na vitu kama hivyo nisivyovifahamu. (Wote wanacheka).

Mpole : Mbona hukujaribu ‘minced lobsters and grilled shrimps’ ? (Anasema hivyo kwa utani). Labda ni tamu kama asali.

Bi. Ugomvi : Ukataka kujaribu nitakuagizia.

Mpole : La ! La ! La ! Hivi vyanitosha. (Kicheko).

Bi. Ugomvi : Hapo awali, mambo yalikuwa mabaya zaidi. Kwa kutaka kuonyesha jinsi walivyostaarabika, waliuiga Uzungu wote, wakawa Wazungu zaidi ya Wazungu wenyewe. Vijiko ukawa unaletewa vitatu ; visu viwili, hata usijue ni vya nini. Ustaarabu huo ukapungua pale bwanyenye mmoja, naye mbunge, alipoletewa ndimu imekatwa mara mbili. Yeye ajua kuwa ni tunda la kuliwa au kutia maji yake kwenye uji, kumbe ni ya kushindilia maji yake kwenye ncha za vidole, etii kuua viini. Naye akalalama kweli kweli, akitishia kususia kula chakula hapa, huku wengi tukimuunga mkono. Ndiposa ustaarabu mwingine wakautupilia mbali. (Mpole na Kombo wanacheka).

Mpole : Mwacha mila ni mtumwa.

Bi. Ugomvi : Sawa na mwiga mila. (Kimya kidogo huku wakiendelea kula).

Kombo: Mungu alikubariki na tabasamu kweli; kila ukitabasamu, moyo wangu waenda mbio. (Anasema haya kwa sauti ya wasiwasi na ni wazi kuwa anamjaribu Bi. Ugomvi. Bi. Ugomvi anatabasamu kidogo na kumjibu).

Bi. Ugomvi : Ahsante sana. (Kombo anaonekana kurudiwa na raha anaposikia hayo).

Kombo: Karibu. (Kimya huku wakimaliza vyakula vyao, wakishafanya hayo, wanaelekea kwenye mahali pa kulipia. Kombo anataka kulipa ila Bi. Ugomvi anamtangulia. Anapewa kijikaratasi kinachoonyesha wanachodaiwa. Kombo anakichukua na kukitazama). Wacha nilipe, kwani ni furaha kula pamoja na mgeni kama wewe.

Bi. Ugomvi: Usijisumbue, ela nitalipa kwani niliwashambulia pasipo kuwaarifu. (Anatoa manoti matano ya elfu  moja moja. Wanachodaiwa ni elfu tatu tu). ‘Please keep change.’ (Wanatoka hapo nje ; kabla ya Bi. Ugomvi kwenda zake, anamwita Kombo kando). Ningetaka kukuona tena.

Kombo : Vema, tena karibu sana.

Bi. Ugomvi : (Anatoa kidaftari kidogo na kurarua ukurasa mmoja, kisha kuandika nambari fulani). Hii hapa nambari ya simu ya mkononi yangu. Waweza kunipigia wakati wowote. (Kombo anachukua hicho kijikaratasi. Wanatawanyika na Kombo kurejea alipo Mpole).

Mpole : Si nilikwambia ile siku. Amekupenda kweli.

Kombo : Acha kinyongo we. (Anamgonga Mpole begani kwa ucheshi). Ukataka naweza kumuuliza akutafutie kipusa kwani naona kujitafutia mwenyewe umeshindwa.

Mpole: Tafadhali fanya hivyo ndugu. (Wote wanafahamu kuwa ni mzaha tu na kucheka. Wanarudi ofisini mwao).


(Usiku huo huo tunamuona Kombo ndani ya jumba la uhadhiri. Amesimama kando ya ubao wa chaki na wanafunzi wake wanaonekana wenye kumakinika sana).

Kombo: Masalkheri! Mhadhara wa leo ni juu ya mada ya ufisadi na jinsi unavyochangia kurudisha nyuma maendeleo, hasa ya kiteknolojia, nyuma. Kabla ya kuanza, kunaye awezaye kutueleza ufisadi ni nini? (Wanafunzi kadha wanainua mikono juu). Naam, tueleze. (Huku akiashiria mwanafunzi mmoja aliyevaa miwani).

Mwanafunzi: Ufisadi ni ile hali ya mtu kufanya tendo au matendo maovu kwa wengine, labda ili ajifaidi binafsi. Kwa mfano, mfanyikazi wa umma akitaka mlungula ili aweze kukuhudumia kwa jambo fulani, basi huo ni ufisadi.

Kombo: Ndiyo. Kuna mwingine angetaka kuchangia zaidi? (Anamchugua mwanafunzi mwingine).

Mwanafunzi: Yangu si mengi ila ningetaka kusema kuwa ikiwa utadaiwa chai ndiposa upate huduma fulani, nawe ukaitoa, basi nyinyi wote ni wafisadi. Ila mimi nikikataa kutoa hongo, nawe pia ukatae, basi itabidi tuhudumiwe pasi na hongo kwani tayari huyo mfanyikazi analipwa.

Kombo: Na hayo waona yawezekana kweli? (Kicheko kidogo kinavuma ndani ya jumba hilo). Hebu tuliangazie, kwa mfano, baraza linalohusika na upeaji mikopo kwa wanafunzi kwa ajili ya masomo zaidi. Inajulikana wazi kuwa sio wote wanaopewa mikopo hiyo hustahili. Wengine wenu mna wazee wenye chao, ila tu mwataka kuipata hiyo mikopo mjistareheshe, ilhali wanaostahili wengine hunyimwa. Nakumbuka nikiwa bado mwanafunzi hapa. Mmoja wa marafiki zangu tuliokuwa tukisomea uhandisi pamoja akavumbua seredani  aina mpya yenye kutumia makaa kidogo kuliko hayo maseredani yaliyokuwa hapa chuoni. Lakini wapi? Hilo jambo likatupiliwa mbali, hata karibu yake kufukuzwa hapa. Nami nikaangalia nikaona kuwa wenye kupewa kondrati ya kuleta maseredani na makaa waliarifiwa hayo, nao wakapinga sana, labda hata wakatoa kitu kidogo. Tukichukua mfano wa mwenye kuleta makaa hapo, tunaona kuwa makaa yake yangehitajika kidogo zaidi kama uvumbuzi na utumikaji wa hilo seredani jipya ungetekelezwa. Naye sidhani angetaka hayo. Hivyo ni bora kama…….


(Mwaka mmoja unapita. Huu ni mwaka wa uchaguzi na Kombo anawaania kuchaguliwa kama mbunge katika eneo bunge la Hoihoi. Tayari amejenga jumba la kifahari huko na mkutano uko kwenye jumba hilo. Waliopo ni Kombo, Mjuaji, Bw. Tembo, Bi. Fitina, Mpole na Bw. Chapa. Ni wakati wa adhuhuri na wote, ila Bw. Tembo, wanajiburudisha na soda baridi walizoletewa na kijakazi wake Kombo. Bw. Tembo, kama kawaida yake, anajiburudisha na kileo aina ya ‘Tusker’. Kusudi la huu mkutano ni kuandaa mipango kabambe ya kampeni ya Kombo).

Bw. Tembo : Jema lastahili lingine. Mimi sasa ni mzee wa kijiji cha Bohari kwa sababu yake Kombo. Kura za watu wa Bohari tayari ni zake ila unawafahamu watu wa mashambani walivyo. Watajisingizia kutoa vitisho eti kura zao huzipati ela uwasaidie kidogo.

Bi. Fitina : Matakwa yao si mengi kama ya watu wa mjini, wao ni watu wa kujitegemea. Nionavyo mimi, vitu wanavyohitaji zaidi ni kama vile sukari, unga, mchele na mafuta ya kupika. Kila mmoja wao akapata kilo mbili mbili za sukari, mchele na mafuta, na mifuko miwili ya unga ngano, basi naona wataridhika. Nao ajuza ukawapa leso moja moja, kura zao na za wazee wao tayari umekwishapata.

Bw. Chapa : Na hao, wazee usisahau kuwapa kiasi kidogo cha pesa taslimu. Wajua, wao hutaka kujiburudisha na vya wagema mara moja moja, uzee ukawaisha kwa muda. Aidha ni jambo la busara kama kila mtu akipata fedha kidogo, wala sio wazee tu.

Mjuaji : Shughuli kama hizo niachie mimi, najua watu wa hapa watakavyo maisha yao yaendeshwe. Utaokoa gharama nyingi kama mtu anayekuendeshea mambo hayo ni mmoja wao. Wewe ukiwaendea mwenyewe (akimaanisha Kombo) watadai eti wanataka elfu moja moja, ila mimi nikiwaendea na shilingi hamsini watakubali.

Bw. Tembo : Na zaidi  ya hayo, mpinzani wako mkuu ni wa kabila la Wasapere, ila eneo hili ni makao ya Wahoihoi. Ameturahisishia mambo ajabu.

Kombo : Ila yeye ni mzee mwenye maarifa mengi kuhu…..

Bw. Tembo : (Akimkatiza) Uzee si hoja. Angalikuwa ni Mhoihoi, mambo yangekuwa mengine. Hata mimi ningekueleza kuwa umpe muda pia naye apate kula. Nawe ukishaongeza umri, ukapata jiko na watoto, basi ingekuwa ni zamu yako kula.

Kombo: Lakini kutokuwa na familia si kungeniwezesha kuwahudumia watu wa eneo bunge langu zaidi?

Bw. Chapa: Hiyo tu ni propaganda. Eti watu wadai wataka viongozi walio vijana…..vijana wenye nguvu na wenye kufikiri na kutazama mambo upya ?

Bw. Tembo : Asemayo Bw. Chapa ni kweli. Mimi binafsi, kwa mfano, siwezi mwamini kijana wangu na hati ya shamba langu.

Bw. Chapa : Hata mimi. Naweza enda safari na nikirejea, nikakuta watu wageni nyumbani mwangu. Kijana amewauzia shamba, hata nisiwe na kipande kidogo cha ardhi angalau pa kusimama. Ardhi nayo ndiyo uhai wetu.

Bw. Tembo : Kijana, hata awe amesoma na kuwa na shahada ngapi, bado tu ni kama wale kasisi wa Katoliki. Wao hawaoi, ela ukikosana na mkeo, atawaita nyote wawili akidai kuwapa mashauri ya ndoa njema.

Bw. Chapa : Nayo akili nyingi huondoa maarifa. Elimu ni ya aina mbili. Elimu rasmi ; elimu ya vitabu wafunzayo shuleni ; na elimu ya maisha. Nami siku zote nikiona kama elimu ya maisha kumfaidi mja zaidi kuliko ya darasani.

Bi. Fitina : Hayo ni kweli tupu. Mwamfahamu Musa, yule kijana wa Mzee Shikaadabu, shahada anazo tatu, ila hazimfai kitu.Kasoro ni kuwa nimwoga kweli,hata kuzungumza na mtoto mdogo ni jambo    gumu sana. Shahada anazo, kazi hana. Nami naonelea kuwa angekuwa anajua kuzungumza na watu bila hata ya kuwa na shahada moja, angekuwa na kazi. Mzee wake kamkosea kweli, kila siku akimpiga akimwona yuazungumza na mtu, labda tu ni salamu. Eti adai ni wakati atupa ; wakati angelikuwa akivishika vitabu. Hiyo tayari laana.

Mpole : Na sasa tuyarejee mambo ya Kombo. Naona ni vema ajifanye kama aliye kwenye jukwaa. Atoe hotuba mufti kweli kweli, yenye kupendeza wote.

Bw. Chapa : Hilo ni shauri jema. Nasi tuweze kumkosoa ili anapoenda kwenye jukwaa hasa, kura zote ziwe zake mara tu afunguapo kinywa  kunena. (Kombo anasimama mbele zao na kujifanya mwenye kuwahutubia wakaazi waliokusanyika wengi wa eneo bunge la Hoihoi. Sauti yake ina shime, laini na yenye kupendeza).

Kombo : ‘Hamjambo nyote’. Ndungu na dada zangu, wakubwa wangu, wazazi kwa watoto, wake kwa waume, ahsanteni sana kwa kuja leo kunisikiliza. Najua wengi wenu mmeacha shughuli muhimu ili kuja hapa kunisikiliza, ahsanteni tena kwa kunipa wasaa wenu.


Labda wengine wenu hamnifahamu vyema. Jina langu ni Kombo kutoka kijiji cha Hongo. Mimi mzaliwa wa hapa, nikalelewa hapa na nazifahamu shida na matatizo yatukumbayo sisi watu wa hapa vyema. Hao wabunge wa hapo awali, lao tu ni kula wala hawajali maslahi yetu. Mbunge asiyejipenda ni huyu tuliyenaye kwa sasa, naye kaanzisha miradi mingi ya maendeleo. Sasa anastaafu na pahala pake kuniachia mimi, kwani maoni yetu wawili yanaenda sambamba.


Jambo la kwanza ningetaka kuzungumzia ni hili suala la maji. Kwa bahati njema, tumebarikiwa kwa kuwa katika eneo lenye maziwa madogo kadha na mito mingi. Mvua pia hunyea kila msimu wake na chakula tunacho si haba. Ila tungefaidika zaidi kama maji haya yangeletwa na mabomba hadi majumbani mwetu. Hili jambo lingerahisishia dada zetu mambo, kwani tungewaokoa kutokana na usumbufu wa kwenda mitoni na vibuyu kuteka maji.


Tena, maji ya mitoni na maziwani huenda yakawa na viini hata yakionekana masafi. Labda wengine wenu wakioshea nguo zao na kuenda haja huko. Basi mtu akayanywa, pasi kuyachemsha, huenda akapata ugonjwa wa kipindupindu ama kuendesha sana na kutapika. Hasa kama ni mtoto, aweza kudhoofika sana, hata akafa.


Jambo la pili ni kuhusu elimu. Kama mnavyofahamu, kiwango cha elimu katika eneo bunge hili kimeenda chini sana. Kwa mfano, mwaka jana, ni watoto watatu tu walioitwa kujiunga na shule za upili za kitaifa. Isitoshe, hakuna mwanafunzi yeyote aliyehitimu kujiunga na chuo kikuu. Hili ni jambo lakufadhaisha sana, kwani elimu ni muhimu sana. Siku hizi, kazi yeyote yataka mtu aliyehitimu.


Najua vyema kuwa jambo hilo limechangiwa hasa na ukosefu wa walimu katika skuli zetu. Tena madarasa hayatoshi kwani wanafunzi ni wengi. Ukosefu wa nidhamu kati ya wanafunzi wengine pia unachangia pakubwa kwa sababu huwachochea wengine ; nazi mbovu ikawa harabu ya nzima. Juzi nikahuzunika sana kumsikia mtoto, naye hajapitisha umri wa miaka saba, akimweleza mwenzake kuwa masomo hayana faida. Sababu ? Mjomba wake amepata digiri, lakini kazi hana.


Mkinichagua kama mbunge wenu, nawahakikishia kuwa nitalihudumia kwa mapana na marefu suala hili la elimu. Shule na madarasa tutajenga upya, nao walimu nihakikishe kuwa wanatosha. Najua wengine wenu mnapata shida sana kulipa karo za shule, nami nawahakikishia kuwa nitaanzisha shirika la mikopo kwa mnajili huo. Pia. walio na wazazi wasiojiweza kamwe tutawalipia karo zao bila kuwadai chochote baadaye.


Kila siku tukiahidiwa kujengewa barabra, ila hatuzioni. Nasi kama wakulima tukiumia sana, pengine mazao yetu yakiharibikia njiani kabla ya kufika kwenye masoko. Mambo huwa mabaya zaidi wakati wa masika, kwani hizi barabara zetu huwa kama madimbwi wakati huo. Hata safari ya dakika chache ikachukua masaa kwani mwendo ni wa gari kukwama na kisha kusukumwa litoke hapo. Ila mkinifanya kuwa mbunge wenu, nawahakikishia kuwatengenezea barabara eneo lote.


Najua mnahitaji umeme sana, labda muendeshe viwanda vyenu au kutumia majumbani mwenu. Kwa sasa mkitumia kuni, makaa au mafuta ya taa, nazo zote aidha hazipatikani kwa urahisi ama ni ghali sana. Nao umeme bei yake ni nafuu. Mimi mwenyewe nina ujuzi wa umeme, nikaona faida yake kwa macho yangu. Nasi wakatuhadaa siku zote kuwa umeme watatuletea mashambani ; nayo miaka na mikaka ikawa ikipita pasi kuuona. Nami naapa ya kuwa baada ya miezi mitatu tu, umeme mtakuwa nao.


Jambo lingine nitakalotilia mkazo ni chanzo na uendeshaji kwa taratibu wa miradi kadha wa kadha ya maendeleo. Miradi hii hasa itawasaidia akina mama na vijana kujikuza na kujiendeleza. Naona ni shauri njema kama hao akina mama na vijana wakijiingiza kwenye vikundi mbalimbali kwani penye wengi pana mengi. Labda huyu ana maarifa ya useremala, na mwingine ya ususi, basi wote wakasaidika zaidi. Nao watu wenye kuaminika wachaguliwe kama viongozi, wahakikishe kuwa fedha zinatumika vilivyo kumfaidi kila mmoja wenu.


Hili jambo linanileta kwenye suala lingine nyeti. Nalo ni suala kuwahusu vijana wetu ; kama mjuavyo, vijana wetu wamekabwa na ukosefu wa kazi, nao labda wakajiingiza kwenye  utumizi wa mihadarati na uraibu mwingine wa kuwadhuru. Basi naonelea kama miradi hiyo itawafaa sana. Tena, tuwe na shirika la mikopo midogo midogo, waweze kuanzisha biashara zao ndogo.


Hivyo vikundi vyao pia vitaweza kuwahamasisha kuhusu madhara ya utumiaji wa mihadarati. Nao akina dada wakafunzwa maadili mema. Wote waelimishwe kuhusu magonjwa kama vile kisonono na kaswende yawezayo kumpata mtu ikiwa atajihusisha na ngono za kiholelaholela. Akina dada zetu hasa hupata taabu kwa ajili ya ufukara, wengine wakitumia vitambaa na matambara makuukuu. Nami naona ni bora wakijiunga na hivyo vikundi kwani wataelimishwa jinsi ya kujiweka safi. Zaidi ya hayo, ninawahakikishia kuwa watakuwa wanapata sodo za bure.


Hali ya usalama katika eneo hili pia umezorota sana. Miaka michache iliyopita, mtu angeweza kutembea pasi na woga usiku wa manane. Siku hizi, hata kuzurura thenashara ya jioni ni balaa. Hasa hali ya usalama imezorota sana katika vijiji vya Toa Tugawe na Tuwa Tugawe. Nami ninawahakikishia, endapo mtanichagua, kuongeza idadi ya maaskari ili waimarishe hali ya usalama humu kote.


Swala la mwisho ningetaka kuzungumzia ni kuhusu afya. Hili eneo bunge letu lina watu wengi sana, lakini hospitali hamna. Tunazo tu zahanati mbili, nanyi mwafahamu vyema hali zilivyo. Wauguzi hawatoshi, huku wengine tukiwa na shaka kama wamehitimu kweli. Nazo huduma ni hafifu, labda ukapiga foleni mchana kutwa, nawe usihudumiwe. Vifaa vyao vingine ni vibovu hata ukajipata mgonjwa zaidi kuliko ulivyokuwa awali baada ya kupata matibabu. Nami mkinichagua, nawahakikishieni ujenzi wa hospitali kubwa pamoja na ujenzi wa zahanati nyinginezo na upanuzi wa zahanati zilizopo.


Ila mkimchagua huyo Msapere, basi mambo yenu yatawaharibikia. Mimi mmoja wenu, ila yeye kazi itakuwa ni kuiba mali na kuwapelekea Wasapere huko atokako.

Ahsenteni tena kwa kunipa masikio yenu.

(Umati unasimama na kumpigia makofi na vigelegele. Umati ukiwa ni Bw. tembo, Bw. Chapa, Bi. Fitina, Mjuaji na Mpole.)

Mpole : Hotuba ya kufana kweli. Ila usiwaambie watu umetoka kijiji cha Hongo. Kama ujuavyo, watu wa kijiji hicho hawaaminiki sana.

Bw. Tembo : Na ni kosa kumkashifu mpizani wako kwa ajili ni Msapere. Heri uwaachie watu wamkashifu wenyewe. Hujui ya kesho, labda utasimama kutaka kuwa rais, nao watu wakakumbuka ulivyonena, ukaonekana kiongozi mwenye ukabila. Nao watu wanamtaka kiongozi wa kitaifa awe rais, wala si kiongozi wa Wahoihoi.

Kombo : Ahsanteni kwa marekebisho yenu, naahidi kuyazingatia.


(Miezi sita baadaye. Kombo ni mbunge na pia ameteuliwa kama waziri wa kawi. Ameweka rekodi ya kuwa waziri aliyeteuliwa akiwa na umri mdogo zaidi. Tayari ameuasi ukapera na kumchukua Bi. Ugomvi kuwa mkewe. Waziri wa kawi wa hapo awali ndiye aliyekuwa mgeni mheshimiwa katika harusi yao. Tunamuona akizungumza na mkewe na tunapowasogelea, tunafahamu kuwa wanagombana).


Kombo : Leo sikufichi ukweli. Tayari nimechoka kuishi nawe, hata naona bora tutaliki.

Bi. Ugomvi : Mimi pia nahisi kama nimechoka kuishi nawe. Wajiona simba, kama ndiwe wa kwanza kufanywa waziri.

Kombo : Hata kesho nitamleta shehe na mashahidi, tuweze kutaliki.

Bi. Ugomvi : Utafanya vyema sana kwani utakuwa umenipunguzia mzigo. Ila nitaenda kortini, nitafute uamuzi wa kugawa mali yako kwa mara mbili, nusu iwe yangu. ( Kombo anashtuka kidogo anavyosikia hayo. Ameangalia kando kwa machungu, ila anapogeuka kumtazama Bi. Ugomvi, anavalia tabasamu. Linajulikana kama kuwa tabasamu la unafiki kwani macho ameyakaza na hayana furaha)

Kombo : (Kwa sauti nyororo naya chini) Mke wangu nisamehe. Sikumaanisha hayo niliyonena, nilikuwa nikizungumza tu kwa hasira.

Bi. Ugomvi : Nakujua wewe ulivyo. Nimekuchunguza vyema na naweza kukusoma kama kurasa za kitabu kilicho wazi. Ila ni vema tukifahamiana mapema, uishi ukijua kuwa kama ni talaka wataka, basi uwe tayari kunipa nusu ya mali yako.

Kombo :  (Amesahau kama anambembeleza Bi. Ugomvi. Kwa sauti ya hasira) Ehe! Nakujua wewe hawara ulivyo! Kila siku ukijisogeza karibu na bepari fulani, ukajipachika kwake na kumyonya. Kupe wewe!

Bi. Ugomvi :  Leo nimekuwa hawara na kupe mnyonya watu, mmh! Jana nikikusaidia upewe madaraka kazini, uwe mbunge hata upate uwaziri. Waziri nikimpa nyama ya ulimi kukuhusu wewe, jinsi ulivyo na bidii na heshima. Lakini leo? Mimi kupe na hawara, ee! Fadhili za punda…..!

Kombo :  Ndiyo, hawara na kupe! Ulipong’aamua kuwa waziri hawezi kukuoa, basi ukajisingizia kunipenda, ili mambo yangu yakienda vizuri, upate kufaidi. Mimi nikikupenda kweli, tena nikifahamu kuwa unapiga umalaya na huyo waziri. Labda hata sasa bado unamuona. Kila siku unakuja wakati wa usiku, ati umetoka kuwatembelea shoga zako.

Bi. Ugomvi : Oho! Kumbe hilo ndilo linalokukera? Mimi kuwa mpenzi wa waziri? Ela tu nikikupenda; nikitaka tuishi baadaye maisha mazuri; nikichumia ya  kesho yetu wawili kwa bidii…..

Kombo : Kupiga umalaya ndo kuchuma, eeh! (Anacheka kicheko cha dharau).

Bi. Ugomvi : Nisingefanya hayo leo ungekuwa wapi ? Hapo langoni kama bawabu. Hata labda ungekuwa umefutwa kazi; huko kudai mlungula kwa yeyote ajaye hapo…….

Kombo : Afadhali kuwa bawabu na kudai mlungula kuliko kuuza  mwili wangu. Waziri mzee, rika la babako, lakini hufaidi mpaka ufanye mapenzi naye.

Bi. Ugomvi : (Machozi yanamtiririka na sauti yake imejaa uchungu) Ndiyo! Waziri rika la babangu, ila alikuwa akinitosheleza kimapenzi. Wewe je? Wapi, ila tu ni kidude ovyo kisichoweza hata kumtosheleza ajuza, sawa tu na hanithi!

Kombo :  (Anamkaribia na kwa hasira, anamwezeka kofi.) Fyata ulimi wako mara moja! Niite tena hanithi nikuonyeshe cha mtema kuni ! (Bi Ugomvi sasa analia kwa kwi kwi. Kombo naye anatoka nje kwa hasira na kuelekea nyumbani mwa rafikiye Mpole. Anaingia hata bila ya kubisha. Mpole, aliyejitandaza kwenye sofa, anaamka kwa mstuko).

Mpole : (Huko moyo ukimwenda mbio) Kumbe ni wewe ! Umenishtua kweli. Hata nikadhani ni majambazi wananiingilia wanipore kila kitu.

Kombo :  (Anashusha pumzi na kujikaza kuongea kama mwenye shwari). Samahani kukukosea adabu ila…….

Mpole : (Anaona kama kuna jambo linalomkera rafikiye.) Nini ndugu ? Nyumbani kuko salama ? Bi. Ugomvi yu katika hali njema ?

Kombo :  Hakuna jambo. Bi. ugomvi hana neno……..(anashusha punzi)…. waweza nisaidia na maji ya kunywa? (Anaketi kwenye sofa huku Mpole akielekea kwenye jokofu. Analifungua na kutoa chupa mbili za ‘Johnny Walker’. Anazifungua na kurudi nazo na moja kumkabidhi Kombo.)

Kombo : Nilitaka maji tu, ela ni sawa. Naona hata kinywaji hiki kitanifaa zaidi. (Kwa mzaha). Lakini naona kama umesahau gilasi.

Mpole : Acha udhia we !W afahamu mambo yalivyo magumu kwa kapera kama mimi. Leo mjakazi wangu kampa livu akawaone wazee wake. Nami vyombo sivichafui mpaka kurejea kwake. Kula ni hotelini.

Kombo : (Anapiga funda na kulimeza) Yule mrembo wako mnapelekanaje?

Mpole : Aa! Wacha we! Huyo ni wa kunifurahisha kwa muda tu. Yeye ni mrembo sana, tena anajua kujikwatua vilivyo kama wafanyavyo wasichana wa kisasa. Mimi nataka bibi. Mwanamke mwenye maadili atakayenizalia na kunilelea watoto. Yeye adai hataki watoto, eti watamfanya azeeke. Wanyonye matiti yake yalosimama wima hata yapate kulala ovyo tu kama soksi! Apoteze umbo na kuwa kama kibofu kilichojazwa pumzi. Tena hajui kupika.

Kombo :  Lo! Huyo si mke, ni kisirani.

Mpole : Waona basi. (Wanaendelea kunywa kwa muda. Kisha Kombo anaanza kumwambia Mpole masaibu yanayomkumba yeye na mkewe.)

Kombo :  Ningetaka mawaidha kutoka kwako……

Mpole :  Nieleze yaliyokukumba, nasi tutaweza kuyatatua.

Kombo : Si jambo kubwa sana, ila naona kama ndoa yangu na Bi. Ugomvi ina doa.

Mpole : Sikufahamu vyema. Mimi niliona kama nyinyi kupendana kama chanda na pete.

Kombo : Huko tu nikujisingizia. Watu watasema nini wakiona waziri na mkewe hawakai pamoja kwa furaha na amani ? Tena ndoa yao changa.

Mpole : Kweli, si jambo njema. Wewe kiongozi, tena wanakuona kama mfano mwema wa kuiga.

Kombo :  Mambo yameharibika sana ; hata nakusudia kumwita shehe aikatize ndoa.

Mpole : La, hasha ! Hilo si suluhisho. Afadhali hata kumchukua mke wa pili, akamfunza yule wa kwanza adabu.

Kombo : Mke wa pili ? (Anaonekana mwenye kushangazwa na hayo.)

Mpole : Sikukusudia hayo. Mke wa pili ni wa kuchukuliwa na mtu aliyekwisha pata watoto kadha wa kadha na mkewe wa kwanza. Wakawa wameishi pamoja kwa miaka mitano au mwongo mmoja. Ela nieleze ni shida zipi zikukumbazo tuzisuluhishe kama watu wazima.

Kombo : Ni tabia zake zinazonikera. Kila siku akija usiku usiku. Nikimuuliza asema eti atoka kuwaona shogaze, ama kushughulikia jambo fulani. Ila mimi naona kama ana mpenzi wa pembeni. Angalau ameacha kuvuta sigara.

Mpole : Hata ingalikuwa ni mimi, huko kuja usiku usiku kungenitia juzi, naye bado kufahamu kuwa sasa ni mke, tena wa waziri mzima ; mahali pake nyumbani. Akiwa msichana, amezoea kuwa na uhuru wa kutoka na kuingia apendavyo, ila ukimpa muda na kumsikiliza kwa makini atarekebisha tabia. Umkalishe kitako umfahamishe unayotaraji kutoka kwake.

Kombo : Je, akikataa kunisikiliza? Nifanye nini? Kisha atishia kwenda kortini kunishtaki nikimtaliki. Apate nusu ya mali yangu.

Mpole : Wewe waziri, hivyo una nguvu nyingi, zitumie. Ikiwa ataenda kortini, hamna shida. Hakimu unaweza ukamwona kando, ukampa chake kidogo mkaafikiana. Talaka ikasimama ilhali mali yote ukabaki nayo.

Kombo : Ila nampenda kwa kweli. Tunaweza ishi pamoja kwa masikizano ikiwa atabadili mienendo. Leo kwa hasira nikamzaba kofi.

Mpole : Basi mambo nikujaribu. Uhakikishe kuwa ugomvi huo haupiti leo usiku. (Wote sasa wamemaliza vinywaji vyao.)

Kombo : Sasa nitakuacha ndugu ; nijaribu kuyatekeleza mawaidha yako. Ahsante sana. (Anaondoka).


(Tunarejea nyumbani mwake Kombo. Anaporejea, anamkuta Bi. Ugomvi katika chumba chao cha kulala akivifunganya virago vyake afanye safari. Upande mmoja wa wajihi wa Bi. Ugomvi umevimba; lile shavu aliloezekwa  kofi na mumewe. Sehemu ya chini ya mdomo wake imekatika.)

Kombo : Na hii giza yote wataka kwenda wapi? (Kwa sauti ya upole. Bi. Ugomvi hamjibu kitu ila anaendelea kuvifunganya virago vyake. Kombo anamwendea na kumkumbatia  kutoka nyuma.) Samahani sana mpenzi wangu. (Bi. Ugomvi anajaribu kujitoa ila Kombo anaendelea kumshikilia. Mwishowe inabaki tu ni machozi yamtiririke huku akilia na kujisemezea kwa sauti ya chini.)

Bi. Ugomvi : Mimi hawara, sijui waziri mzima anitakiani. Hawara mkosa maadili, kazi tu kuuza mwili wangu na kujifanya kupe mwe…….

Kombo : (Huku akimfuta machozi). Usiseme hivyo mpenzi wangu. Mimi nikikupenda jinsi ulivyo. Bora tuyaache yaliyopita, tuyagange yajayo. Nayo ni kuishi kwa upendo, kuheshimiana na masikizano mema. (Sasa amewacha kumkumbatia mkewe. Bi. Ugomvi anaendelea kuvifunganya vitu vyake.)

Bi Ugomvi : Naona kama hayo usemayo hayawezekani. Nikiendelea kuwa mkeo, siku zote utanifikiri tu kama hawara. Afadhali unipe talaka niende zangu, nawe umtafute bibi mwingine mwenye maadili na mwenye kukuheshimu. Hata sasa sitaki mali yako, kidogo changu chanitosha.

Kombo : Tafadhali usiseme hayo mpenzi wangu. Penzi langu limekudata, hata sioni kama naweza kumpenda mwingine jinsi nikupendayo. Wewe kuwa hawara hapo mbeleni si hoja, ila najua mui huwa mwema. Tafadhali mpenzi nipe nafasi mara ya pili kukuthibitishia hayo. Tafadhali .

Bi. Ugomvi : (Anaonekana kububujikwa na machozi kweli). Mimi nikikupenda kweli. Kila siku tulipokuwa tukichumbiana nawe tu kunipa maneno matamu, kunifanya nicheke hata mbavu kuniuma. Kwa mara ya kwanza maishani mwangu, nikajihisi mwenye kupendwa, wala sio kama chombo cha kutumiwa na kisha kutupiliwa mbali na wanaume nikisha pata kuwakidhia matakwa yao ya ngono. Sijawahi kukuambia haya, lakini leo nitakueleza, hata pale unaponiita hawara, ujue ni ukweli mtupu. Mara nilipofikisha umri wa miaka kumi na sita…….

Kombo : La! La! La! Sitaki kusikia hayo. Hayo yamepita nami nitazidi kukupenda.

Bi. Ugomvi : Mwisho wake lazima utausikia. Nikiwa na huo umri, nami niko kidato cha pili kwenye shule ya wasichana ya boda. Hata wenzangu wakijipodoa nami nikiwaonea kijicho. Hapo shuleni kuna mwalimu mmoja mwanamume , akijulikana kama Bw. Asherati. Naye kila siku akiniuliza kama nina jambo linalonikera kwani mimi si mchangamfu kama wenzangu. Tukafanya urafiki mkubwa kwani naona tu anajali masilahi yangu. Kumbe tu kujisingizia. Siku moja………

Kombo : Basi, nimesikia yakutosha.

Bi. Ugomvi : ….siku moja akanialika nyumbani mwake. Yeye mwalimu wangu wa hesabu nami naona ugumu katika somo hilo. Asema eti ataka kunisaidia katika hilo somo. Ila tufikapo hapo myumbani mwake, kaanza kunipapasa na kunivua nguo. Nikataka kupiga mayowe ila akinitishia kunipeleka kwa mwalimu mkuu na kunisingizia eti nilienda nyumbani mwake nikitaka kujihusisha kimapenzi naye. Mimi, kwa ujinga wangu, nikaona kama nitafukuzwa shuleni.

Kombo : Tafadhali katizia hapo

Bi. Ugomvi : Naye akanibaka. Kwisha kufanya hivyo, akanilazimisha nioge na kunipa fedha nijinunulie nitakacho. Mtindo ukawa huo huo. Baadaye kidogo, nikashika mimba.

Mimi kumweleza hayo, akamleta rafikiye, naye muuguzi. Rafikiye akanipa tembe fulani, nikatoa hicho kilenge kilichoko ndani yangu, nao uchungu kweli. Kisha wakaniosha vyema. Hata nikawa mahututi sana kwa muda wa majuma mawili, nami nikajisingizia kama mwenye kushikwa na malaria. Nikapata ruhusa ya kulala bwenini wakati wa mchana, angalau nikahisi nafuu. (Bi. Ugomvi anaketi sakafuni kando mwa kitanda chao. Kombo anaenda na kumkumbatia.)

Kombo : Pole kwa yote yaliyokukumba

Bi. Ugomvi : Bw. Asherati akamfanyia hayo hayo mwanafunzi mwingine. Ila huyu mwanafunzi akamshtaki. Kwa kutokuwa na ushahidi wa kutosha, ikabaki tu ni Bw. Asherati apewe uhamisho, akaenda skuli nyingine. Tangu siku hiyo nikawachukia wanaume wote. (Sasa analia huku wamekumbatiana hapo chini sakafuni.) Kazi ikawa ni kuwanyonya na kuwatupilia mbali, ati naona kama mwenye kulipiza kisasi. Huyu akiwa wa mavazi, huyo wa kunilipia kodi ya nyumba na yule wakuninunulia gari. Ila pale nilipokufahamu wewe ni mtu wa aina gani, nikazinduka na kuona kuwa huko kujilipizia kisasi ni mimi mwenyewe kujiumiza. (Kombo sasa amemkumbatia  kwa nguvu zaidi na wanalia pamoja.)

Kombo : Nisamehe. Sikujua kuwa wewe kaumia jinsi hiyo.

Bi. Ugomvi : (Akijitenga kidogo). Nimekusamehe, ela ukae ukijua ukweli kunihusu.

Kombo : Ningetaka tuendelee kuwa mtu na mkewe.

Bi. Ugomvi : (Huku akimtazama na kumkazia macho.) Wasema kweli?

(Kombo anatikisa kichwa kukubali. Bi. Ugomvi anampiga busu na kisha wanaendelea kukumbatiana. Baadaye Kombo anachukua vipande vya barafu na kuvishikilia kwenye shavu la Bi. Ugomvi kujaribu kupunguza uvimbe. Mdomo uliopasuka anaupaka mafuta angalau usikauke na kuchukua muda zaidi kabla ya kurudia hali yake ya kawaida.)


(Ofisini mwa Kombo. Hapo nje kuna kiofisi kidogo cha katibu wake, Jane. Kombo amemwita Jane ofisini na kujifanya eti anataka Jane amfanyie kazi fulani. Wakati huo wote, Kombo anamdadisidadisi.)


Kombo : Ningetaka unipigie chapa hii barua, (anamkabidhi Jane barua) ela sioni kama ulinipa ile faili niliyokuagiza unipe hapo jana).

Jane : Nakumbuka kama nilikupa hiyo faili mimi binafsi, nao mwendo wa saa sita.

Kombo : Hakuna faili uliyonipatia. Labda bado iko huko ofisini mwako.

Jane : Huko nimeangalia na haimo. Wala sidhani huku kuna majini yakaichukua hiyo faili. Umetazama vema hapo dawatini mwako?

Kombo : Nimetazama vyema na haimo, wala mimi sioti.

Jane : Labda umesahau inavyofanana. Wacha mimi mwenyewe niitafute hapo. (Kombo anasimama ili kumwezesha Jane kuitafuta. Jane anafungua mtoto wa meza na kuanza kuitafuta huku Kombo akielekea mlangoni. Anaufunga kwa ndani kisha kuelekea dirishani na kuyaangusha mapazia). Hii ha… tena nini imejiri? (Hii ni baada ya yeye kushangaa pale ofisini mnapojaa giza Kombo akisha kuyaangusha mapazia).

Kombo : (Anamkaribia Jane) Wajua nini Jane, wewe ni mwanamke mrembo nami nina pesa chungu nzima; hivyo twaweza kusaidiana.

Jane : Kusaidiana kivipi?

Kombo : Acha kujisingizia eti hufahamu ninayomaanisha.

Jane : Mimi kukusaidia ninakokuelewa ni kukuchapishia barua zako rasmi na kukuendeshea mambo mengine yanayolingana na ofisi yako. Nami serikali inanipa mshahara kufanya hivyo.

Kombo : Sikuwa nikimaanisha hivyo. Ela tu nikitaka msaada wa kibinafsi.

Jane :  Oho! Sasa nimeanza kukufahamu. Pole sana, mimi hayo siyawezi. Siyo wanawake wote wanaoweza nunulika.

Kombo : (Anamwendea kwa ghafla na kumkaba koo kutoka nyuma, kisha kumlalisha hapo dawatini).  Upende usipende leo nitakufira! Mimi nikitaka unipe kwa upole, nawe hutaki. Basi nitachukua kwa nguvu.( Naye Jane hawezi kumzuia kwani hata kupumua ni shida. Nyinyi wanawake siku zote mkijiona wajanja, hata kupiga umalaya na kila mtu. Wanawake wote sawa na Bi. Ugomvi.)

Jane : (Kwa unyonge) Una ….ni…ua. Ta…fa…dha…dhali wa…cha kuni…ka… k…ko…o…U……ni…ni…ua! (Kombo anarejelewa na fahamu na kuacha kumkaba koo. Baadaye kidogo anaacha kumlawiti Jane. Jane sasa machozi yanamtiririka na analia kwa uchungu) Kwanini hivyo bwana? Nimekukosea nini bwana?

Kombo : Hujanikosea kitu. Mimi tu nikitaka usaidizi kidogo kutoka kwako, nawe hutaki. Ila haya yote yameletwa na bibi yangu. Siku hizi simwamini; nyumbani tunaishi kama mtu na dadake, hata hatuwezi kujamiiana vilivyo. Mara moja tu, nayo ni kujaribu kupata mwana. Nami mwanamume mwenye hisia nyingi za uume zifaazo kutoshelezwa.

Jane : (Huku akiendelea kulia). Mimi basi nitaenda kortini nikufungulie mashtaki. Ujute mbona ukazaliwa.

Kombo : (Anamvuta karibu naye). Sikiza kwa makini Jane. Hivyo ni vitisho vya pesa nane nami nimevizoea. Shika hizi fedha. (Anajaribu kumkabidhi Jane manoti kadhaa).

Jane : Sitaki. Fedha zako haziwezi tosha kuutoa moyoni uchungu nilionao kwa wewe kunifanyia unyama huu.

Kombo : Sikukusidia ila ni shida za nyumbani zilizonifanya kukutendea hayo. Ningekuwa wewe, ningezichukua hizi fedha kwani kwenda kortini hakutakufaidi kitu.

Jane : Mimi nitaenda huko; korti isiponifaa, wewe fahamu kuwa Mwenyezi Mungu yumo naye aona kila kitu. Malipo ni hapa duniani, jehanamu ni hukumu.

Kombo : Hayo nimesikia mara nyingi, hadi nikachoka. Basi nenda kortini uone kama utafaidi, ela kazi yako hapa itaisha. (Jane anatafakari kwa muda nakuona kuwa wakuumia ni yeye, kisha anazichukua hizo fedha. Anayafuta machozi na kuondoka hapo ofisini na kwenda ofisini mwake.

Kombo anaonekana kutabasamu kwani analichukulia hilo jambo la Jane kuzichukua fedha kama ushindi. Akijisemezea). Fedha kweli ni suluhisho la kila kitu. Hata nitautunga msemo wangu unenao kuwa ‘mwenye fedha mpishe, kwani ni mwenye nguvu’.Labda hata mbinguni waweza kuingia ukiwa na fedha zakutosha. Bora tu upatane na malaika anayetaka kujiendelesha kimaisha, umkabidhi hizo fedha. (Anacheka kidogo kwa huo uvumbuzi wake.) Shuleni siku zote tukidanganywa, kwenye somo la fasihi, kuwa pesa ndizo chanzo cha kila uovu. Ikabaki ni mimi mwenyewe kujigundulia kuwa pesa ndizo chanzo cha kila wema. Hata nadhani vitabu hivyo vilitungwa na vibaraka na vikaragosi wa mabwanyenye na mabepari, watuhamasishe ili tusitake kuiiga mifano yao, tukae tukitosheka na ufukara wetu, nao wazidi kutukandamiza na kutudhulumu. Kweli wajinga ndio waliwao, ila mimi nimeona mwangaza na kutoka huo ujingani wa kuliwa bila ya huruma. Wao sawa na mazimwi, hawatuli tukakwisha sababu kesho watatuhitaji kuzinunua bidhaa na huduma zao.


(Kwenye mnada, siku kadha baadaye. Kusudi la mnada wa leo ni kuyauza magari yaliyozeeka ya Wizara Ya Kawi. Dalali ni Mnafiki, naye rafiki mkubwa wa Kombo katika mambo ya kibiashara, tena ni Mhoihoi. Mpole ni mmojawapo wa mazabuni. Mazabuni wengine ni akina Mzushi na Mnyonge na wengine wengi n.k.n.k.  Kuna magari ya kibinafsi, mabasi na hata malori. Pia kuna jenereta mbili zilizozeeka. Thamani ya gari la kibinafsi lililo na bei nafuu kabisa ni kama nusu milioni kwani miundoyake mingi ni kama vile ‘LandRover’, ‘Prado’, ‘Mercedez Benz’, ‘B.M.W’ na hata gari la kistarehe aina ya ‘Porsche’. Mabasi na malori thamani yake huenda ikawa ni kati ya shilingi milioni tatu hadi million saba. Ingawa magari hayo yanaambiwa kuwa yamezeeka, hakuna gari lililopitisha umri wa miaka miwili barabarani, nayo wizara ikinunua tu magari mapya kabisa kutoka Ujapani, Ulaya na kwingineko. Inaonekana kwamba msajili mkuu wa serikali ako mpangoni na ndiyo maana thamani ya hayo magari ikawa chini zaidi wakati wa mnada. Hila iliyoko, ili kusiwe na shaka kuwa labda kuna ufisadi, ni ndogo. Labda gari likatolewa gurudumu moja, au dirisha au kithibiti mwendo (spidi gavana) na hivyo kusingiziwa kama kuwa bovu. Habari ya huu mnada kufanywa siku fulani fulani ilikuwa imechapishwa magazetini tofauti. Thamani ya jenereta ni kama shilingi laki nane kila moja.)


Dalali : Gari la kwanza kwenye mnada ni gari la kibinafsi, aina ya  ‘Mercedes Benz’ lenye nambari za usajili GAR 408I. Wewe hapo! (Akiashiria mmoja wa mazabuni.) Sema bei yako?

Zabuni 1 : Shilingi elfu thelathini.( Mnada wa hilo gari unaanza)

Zabuni 2 :  Shilingi elfu thelathini na tano.

Mpole : Elfu arobaini. (Huku akionyesha nambari ya kibao alichokabidhiwa).

Dalali :  Elfu arobaini kwa mara ya kwanza…. (kunasikika sauti ikitaja elfu hamsini. Dalali anajisingizia kiziwi.) ….mara ya pili…..(sauti nyingine inataja laki moja.)…..mara ya tatu.(sauti nyingine inataja nusu milioni.) ….(Dalali anagongesha nyundo yake chini. Limeenda ! (Malalamishi yanasikika). gari la pili kwenye mnada ni gari la kibinafsi la starehe aina ya ‘Porsche’ lenye nambari za usajili GAR900I.

Zabuni 3 : Nitalinunua kwa shilingi laki tatu

Zabuni 1 : Laki nne unusu………..

Mpole : Elfu themanini….(Dalali anagongesha nyundo yake chini na gari kumwendea Mpole kwa shilingi elfu themanini. (Malalamishi yanaendelea kuwa mengi.)

Dalali : Gari lingine kwenye mnada ni gari la kibinafsi aina ya ‘Toyota Corolla’ lenye nambari ya usajili GAR 687 I.

Zabuni 2 : Elfu kumi.

Zabuni 4 : Elfu kumi na tatu.

Mzushi : Elfu kumi na tano.

Dalali : Elfu kumi na tano kwa mara ya kwanza…. (Anangoja kusikia sauti ya Mpole)……Elfu kumi na tano kwa mara ya pili……..(sauti ya Mpole haisikiki, hivyo anafahamu kuwa Mpole hataki hilo gari). … Elfu kumi na tano kwa mara ya tatu…. Diing ! (Anagongesha nyundo chini na gari kumwendea Mzushi.) Mtindo unakuwa huo huo huku watu wakilalama vikali pale Mpole anapolipata gari na wakiwa na radhi pale mmoja wao anapoangukia  kupata gari. Mnada unapokwisha, Mpole amepata jumla ya magari kumi na mbili miongoni mwa magari ishirini. Jenereta zote mbili zimemwendea. Sasa yeye na Dalali wako kwenye chumba kidogo kilichopo hapo karibu na wanazungumza huku wakinywa soda baridi.)

Mpole : Leo Kombo atafurahi kwelikweli. Jumla ya magari kumi na mawili na jenereta mbili, nazo zote kwa gharama chini ya milioni moja.

Dalali : Ana bahati kweli. Akisha kunilipa mimi na amlipe huyo msajili mkuu wa serikali, gharama yake itakuwa karibu ya milioni tano. Mimi nipate milioni moja, msajili naye apate milioni tatu. Kombo naye faida yake iwe milioni thelathini. Hiyo ndiyo biashara!

Mpole :  Dunia ya sasa yataka mtu awe mjanja na pia awe na watu wake. Hivyo atafaidi kupata kidogo chake. Aweze kujikimu kimaisha na kuishi kwa raha mustarehe.

Dalali : Nakubaliana nawe kabisa. Mimi nikimjua mtu fulani….(Wakati anapopeana hiyo ngano, Mpole masikio yake yako nje kwani kuna watu wawili wanazungumza huko nje. Nao ni Mzushi na Mnyonge; walioegemea kwenye ukuta wa hicho chumba.)

Mzushi : Nakuambia hawa Wahoihoi ni watu wa kujipenda sana. Mpole akiyapata magari kumi na mawili, pamoja na jenereta mbili. Na kama ujuavyo, Mpole tu ni msimamizi ila sasa hiyo ni mali ya Kombo. Mimi nimepata gari moja pekee naye tajiri wangu haambiliki, kuwa Wasapere waliweza kupata magari mawili pekee. Mimi na yule Msapere mwingine. Yaliyobaki yakawaendea Wahoihoi wengine.

Mnyonge : Usemayo ni kweli. Hao Wahoihoi wanatukandamiza sisi Wasapere.Mawaziri wote ni Wahoihoi, hata rais. Ila wacha siku ifike tutakapokuwa na mtu wetu huko ikulu kama rais. Nakuambia, vyeo vyote vitashikiliwa na Wasapere, hata kuwabakishia makombo kama wanavyotufanyia sisi hakuna. Uwe ni wakati wetu wa kula. Watatutambua ! (Wakati huo huo, Mpole na Dalali wanajitokeza nje. Mpole anakohoa kidogo, ila yeye na dalali wanawapita Mzushi na Mnyonge kana kwamba hawajasikia lolote).

Mzushi : Ha ! Kujisingizia kulikoni ! Ela kesho hatuna kazi.

Mnyonge : Punguza sauti bwana. Watakusikia na bado hawajatoweka. Sidhani kama wametusikia.

Mzushi : Ndivyo ilivyo hali yetu Wasapere; kunyonywa na Wahoihoi pasi huruma. Hata naona bora nchi hii ingefanywa kuwa mara mbili; moja ipewe hao Wahoihoi na moja tupewe sisi Wasapere. Nakuhakikishia kuwa wangenyonyana wenyewe kwa wenyewe.

Mnyonge : Usiseme maneno hayo kwani hujui nani anakusikia. Maneno hayo yakasikika ukapelekwa mbele, utashtakiwa kwa usaliti wa nchi. Hukumu yake ni kifo.

Mzushi : Mimi siogopi kufa. Kifo chenyewe ni uhuru wa milele kutokana na huku kudhulumiwa na kunyanyaswa na Wahoihoi.

Mnyonge : (Anaangalia saa yake ya mkono). Naona saa zimekwisha. Bora twende zetu (Wanatoka). (Asubuhi ya kuamkia. Ofisini mwa Kombo. Mpole amemletea habari ya yaliyotukia huko kwenye mnada).

Mpole : Ni kama ulivyosema. Halikuwa jambo gumu.

Kombo : Si nilikwambia ? Utakacho kufanya ni kumwona fulani na fulani majuma kadhaa kabla ya siku yenyewe kuwadia. Mkapanga mambo, mnada ukaenda shwari. Mpole :  Nilifanikiwa kupata magari kumi na mawili na hizo jenereta mbili.

Kombo : Magari si muhimu sana. Unaweza chukua mawili ama matatu yanayokupendeza.  Cha muhimu ni kuwa uliweza kupata hizo jenereta mbili.

Mpole : Bado hujanieleza ni za nini ?

Kombo : Wajua huko nyumbani mashambani hakuna umeme. Basi jenereta moja litakuwa lakutumiwa hapo nyumbani kwangu. Nalo la pili litakiendesha kinu cha kusagia nafaka ninachonuia kujenga.

Mpole : Wewe ni waziri wa kawi, umesomea uhandisi na nishati, nawe wajua umuhimu wa umeme kwa maendeleo. Siyo eti hakuna fedha wala vifaa na mitambo vya kutosha kueneza umeme mashambani kote nchini.

Kombo : Aah ! Hufahamu ndugu. Watu wa mashambani hawajui hayo ; mambo yote ni kupanga. Uchaguzi mkuu ukikaribia, basi watu wa eneo bunge langu na vitongoji vyake watapata umeme ; nami wanichague tena kama mbunge wao. Tena watajiona wenye kubahatika kweli kwani mashambani kwingine hakutakuwa na umeme. Waona basi ?

Mpole : (Akianza kuzinduka). Oho ! Sasa nimefahamu. Siasa kama karata…..

Kombo : Ila siku zote si mchezo mwema. (Kimya kidogo).

Mpole : Wamjua Mnyonge na Mzushi?

Kombo : Wasapere wawili wanaofanya kazi humu?

Mpole : Haswa. Walikuwa huko mnadani, nadhani wanamtumikia tajiri fulani. Naye kazi tu ni kulalama, hasa nikilipata gari. Halafu nikasikia wakisema kuwa sisi Wahoihoi ni makupe yanyonyayoWasapere.

Kombo : Nawajua Wasapere walivyo; kumwonea kijicho Mhoihoi yeyote akibahatika. Ela vijidudu hao wawili wasikusumbie. Najua dawa yao. (Mpole anaondoka ofisini mwake Kombo na kumwacha Kombo amejishika tama akiwaza.)



Onyesho la tatu. (Ukabila)


(Miongo miwili baadaye. Msomi, mwanawe Kombo, na Fukara, mwanawe Mjuaji, wanaingia kwenye kioski cha maakuli cha Ali hapo chuoni. Msomi na Fukara ni kama ndugu wa toka nikutoke; walizaliwa siku moja, saa moja na wanafanana sana, hata mtu asiyewajua sana huenda akadhani ni mapacha. Wamesoma pamoja toka shule ya msingi, shule ya upili hata sasa hapo chuoni wanapotaraji kuhitimu na shahada za Biashara Wanamuona na kuwendea J.M., aliyekuwa mwalimu wao wa fasihi katika shule ya upili na ambaye sasa ni mhadhiri kwenye kitivo cha elimu, hapo chuoni.)


Msomi : } Shikamoo!

Fukara : }

J.M. : Marahaba! Mwaambaje?

Msomi : }Vyema. (Wanaketi kwenye viti kinyume na upande

Fukara : } J.M. alioketi. Ali anawaona na kuwajia.)

Ali : Habari zenu?

Msomi : } Njema

Fukara : }

Ali : Naweza kuwahudumia?

Msomi : Ndiyo. Tuletee kahawa vikombe vitatu na mahamri mawili mawili kila mmoja.

J.M. : Ahsante. Ila mimi tayari kwisha kunywa chai.

Fukara : Tafadhali ungana nasi, itakuwa heshima kuu.

J.M. : Haya basi. (Ali anaondoka kuwaletea vitu walivyongiza. Hapo kwenye meza kuna gazeti la ‘Siku Zote’. Msomi analichukua na kulitazama. Taarifa kuu ya leo kwenye ukurasa wa kwanza na iliyoandikwa kwa herufi kubwa kubwa yasema; Mtwana Msapere amuua tajiri wake Mhoihoi. Kwisha kuona hayo, anampatilishia Fukara, naye anafanya vivyo hivyo.)

Msomi : (Kwa sauti yenye kukosa matumaini). Siku hizi habari ni zile zile. ‘Mhoihoi Ameshtaki Msapere Fulani’au ‘Msapere Fulani Amemchanja Kisu Bwanake Mhoihoi’. Naona kana kwamba ukabila huu umekithiri mipaka.

J.M. : Tangu zama, ukabila ulikita mizizi yake, hata kabla ya Wakoloni kuja. Wao waliupata wakauendeleza sana ili kujinufaisha. Ila hapo awali haukuwa  mbaya sana.

Fukara : Mimi naona kama maisha duniani yalikusudiwa yawe namna hiyo. Tukiangazia wanyama, tunaona kuwa kuna makabila mbalimbali. Kabila moja labda likila nyasi na lingine likila wanyama wengine. Hakuna kuepukana na hiyo balaa.

J.M. : Sikubaliani nawe, kwani sisi binadamu si kama wanyama. Sisi ni watu wenye kufikiri na wenye kuweza kuzuia hisia zetu pale ambapo hazitakikani; labda zikatudhuru au kudhuru wengine zikitoshelezwa. Ila simba akihisi njaa, basi atamtafuta paa na kumfanya kuwa kitoweo. Ela sisi tunaweza kujinyima chakula kwa muda, labda kwa sababu za kidini. (Kahawa na mahamri yanaletwa huku uzungumzi ukiendelea wanapokuwa wakila. Leo ni Jumamosi mwendo wa saa nne, hivyo hakuna wateja wengi. Ali anaenda kumhudumia mteja mwingine kisha anarudi kwenye meza ya akina J.M.)

Ali : Mimi siku zote nikijua hakuna ukabila; kuwa mtu aweza  tu kuwa mambo mawili ; mzuri au mbaya. Juzi nikaambiwa huo pia ni ukabila; kabila la wema na kabila la waovu.

Mimi nikaona ni propaganda ya siasa mbaya.

Msomi : Siasa kweli imeharibu kila kitu. Hata huwezi jua nini au lipi ndilo ukabila.. Ukila ndizi nawe una njaa, unaitwa mwenye ukabila. Eti kabila fulani ndilo lenye kula ndizi. Usipokula ndizi pia unaitwa mwenye ukabila, eti kabila fulani ndilo lisilokula ndizi. Ugumu kweli.

Fukara : Hata naona ni shauri njema kama kungaliundwa tume ya kuchunguza na kukata kauli nini au lipi ni ukabila na lipi lisilo ukabila.

J.M. : Hilo silo suluhisho katika nchi yetu. Tume kama hiyo itaharibu pesa za umma pasipo kukata shauri wazi au kuafikiana. Tena tume kama hizo zikijaa chungu nzima, ila hatuyaoni matokeo yake; hata hatuna imani nazo.

Msomi : Kweli hayo unenao. Hata kuna uvumi unaonea kuwa tume jipya litaanzishwa, nalo kazi lakeni kuzichunguza hizo tume zinginezo.

Ali : (Kwa utani.) Kisha banda ya hilo tume, kuundwe tume lingine la kuchunguza tume lililoundwa kuchunguza tume zingine. Tena kuundwe tume lingine na lingine na …. (wote wanacheka.)

Msomi : Mimi naona kama sisi ni tume. Tujadili lipi ukabila na lipi lisilokuwa ukabila, tukate kauli.

Fukara : Lakini hilo litatusaidia vipi?

J.M. : Siku zote mabadiliko huanzia kwa mtu mmoja, naye akaeneza ujumbe na nia yako kwa mwingine, naye vile vile. Mwisho wake, watu wengi huwa wamehamasishwa nao wakatekeleza mabadiliko.

Ali  : Kweli…. Tukikata kauli lipi ni ukabila na lipi si ukabila, kisha tukabadili mienendo yetu na kuutuhumu ukabila, basi wengine huenda wataiga mifano yetu. Labda hata tukaufanya ukabila uishe.

Fukara : Lakini naona jambo hilo kuwa gumu sana.

J.M. :  Hakuna gumu lisiloweza kutekelezwa. Watu wa Uchina husema ‘ safari ya maili elfu huanza kwa hatua moja.’ ( Baada ya masaa mawili hivi, hii tume jipya inakuja na ujumbe ufuatao kuhusu swala nyeti la ukabila.Haswa sio ujumbe ulioandikwa chini, bali ni ujumbe anaoweza kuupata mtu aliyebahatika kusikiza mazungumzo hayo kwa makini na kisha kuandika taarifa, kama wafanyavyo waandishi wa habari. Kwa kuwa ni taarifa yenye kufasiriwa jinsi wasikilizaji walivyoelewa mazungumzo ya akina J.M., huenda ikawa na kasoro. Labda wakaandika mambo ambayo msemaji fulani hakusema, au hata kinyume cha yale aliyokusudia. Hivyo, huenda ikawa si  tafsili kamilifu.)


“ Ni vyema kuanza kwa kuangazia maana ya jina kabila. Maana yake ya kwanza ni; kikundi cha watu katika taifa wanaohusiana kwa lugha, mila, desturi na utamaduni. Maana ya pili ni jamii ya watu au vitu vya aina moja; jumla ya ukoo au ufungu. Hivyo ukabila ni ile hali ya kuwakusanya watu au vitu kwenye makundi na vikundi kwa sababu wana tabia au mambo fulani yanayowafananisha au kuwatengenisha.

Kisiasa, maana ya ukabila ni ule mtindo wa kuwakusanya watu kwenye vikundi mbalimbali kulingana na uwezo wao wa kiuchumi na kuzalisha mali au kwa sababu wana zungumza lugha moja au ngozi yao ni rangi moja. Kusudi la kufanya hivyo huwa ni aidha kuwadhulumu watu au kuwaendelesha kwenye hicho kikundi walichotengewa. Nayo mifano imejaa tele humu duniani.

Tuanze kwa kuangazia hali ya dunia ilivyokuwa hapo awali muda mfupi kabla ya vitu vya dunia vya pili. Huko Ujerumani, kulikuwa na mtu kwa jina Adolf Hitler. Wakati huo, Wayahudi walikuwa wamejaa nchini humo, nao watu wenye bidii ya mchwa tena wakimiliki mali nyingi. Basi huyu Adolf Hilter akaanzisha chama cha kisiasa kikijulikana kama ‘Nazi’. Naye akiwahamasisha Wajerumani kuwa (wengi wao walikuwa masikini hohehahe) umasikini wao umesababishwa na hao Wayahudi. Itawezekanaje sisi wenyewe tuwe masikini nchini mwetu ilhali wageni wakimiliki rasilmali zetu ? Labda hilo ndilo swali alilowauliza kwenye mikutano yake mingi.

Nacho hiki chama kikiongeza nguvu zake kila siku kwani Wajerumani wengi waliona kama ni ukweli anasema na kujiunga. Miongoni mwao mna vijana waliojitolea mhanga kwa ajili ya ukuzaji wa chama, nao wakijikusanya kwenye vikundi vidogo vidogo na wakati wa usiku, kuvamia na kuharibu mali ya hawa Wayahudi au jamii zao, hata wakiwanajisi baadhi ya wengine wao. Hiltler akaja kuwa waziri mkuu, naye hatosheki, ila ataka kupanua milki yake. Hivyo akaanza kuyavamia mataifa mengine hata kusababisha vita vya dunia vya pili. Wayahudi milioni sita, Ujeramani pekee, wakaangamia wakati wa utawala wake.

Navyo vita vyenyewe ni kati ya Ujerumani – Ujapani-Italia wakiungana pamoja dhidi ya Uingereza na marafiki zake kama Ufaransa na mengineyo. Wakati huo, Uingereza imeyafanya mataifa kadha ya Afrika kama koloni zake na hivyo, ikawa ikiwateua Waafrika kwenda kupigana. Hata mwishowe, Uingereza na marafikize wakashinda hivyo vita. Nalo funzo tunaloweza kupata ni kuwa watu wawili wanaweza kushirikiana na kufanya jambo kubwa ikiwa hawatabaguana kwa msingi wa kikabila ; kama walivyofanya Waingereza na Waafrika kwenye jitihada zao za kuwakomesha Wajerumani. (Ila Waafrika wakiwatumikia Waingereza kama vikaragosi.)

Nao Waafrika wakaweza kujifunza mengi. Wakatambua kuwa Mzungu ni mtu tu kama wao, mwenye kukumbwa na masaibu mengi sawa na yaliyomkumba Mwafrika. Huko pia wakajionea ukabila aina nyingine; ule wa hali ya kiuchumi.Wakawaona Wazungu wengine mafukara,labda wakiombaomba sarafu kwenye njia za majijini au kula makombo yaliyotupwa mapipani. Wakawaelimisha wenzao, hata kukawa na tetesi za Waafrika kutaka kupewa uhuru wao. Wazungu wakajaribu kuwazuia, ila mwishowe ikabidi mataifa ya Kiafrika kupata uhuru.

Nayo nchi ya Afrika kusini ikachelewa kupewa uhuru hadi pale mwaka wa 1994; Nelson Mandela akawa rais. wa kwanza Mwafrika huko. Ufashisti ukawa unatekelezwa  sana kabla ya uhuru. Kukawa na maeneo yaliyotengewa Waafrika na maeneo ya Wazungu. Naye Mwafrika kufika eneo la Wazungu ni balaa, ila awe anafanya kazi huko, nayo kazi yenyewe ni ya utwana, upishi au dhobi. Mzungu naye ana uhuru wa kutembea kote atakako.

Elimu nayo mtindo ni sawa : shule za Wazungu na shule za Waafrika. Hata mwanzoni, shule za Waafrika hazikuwemo. Shule za Wazungu ni kubwa kubwa na za kifahari; ilhali zilizotengewa Waafrika ni duni. Mwaka wa 1994; ikapata uhuru wake. Ikiwa ukabila wa kubaguana kwa msingi wa rangi ulipungua sana, bado ukabila wa aina nyingine ukawa unaendelea.

Marekani pia ni hayo hayo tu. Waafrika na makabila mengine ya kutoka nje kubaguliwa kwa msingi wa rangi. Wengi wao wakawa wanapigwa na kuuliwa na vikundi vikundi vya Wazungu. Waafrika kosa lao? Kuwa weusi. Hata uwe ndani ya basi nawe Mwafrika, ukawa unatakiwa kumpisha Mzungu kiti ulichokalia. Pengine huenda akawa ni  mtoto mdogo; nawe ni ajuza, ila kumpisha kiti chako akalie ni lazima. Kutofanya hivyo ni kujiletea balaa. Miaka ikazidi kusonga na ukabila wa rangi ukaendelea kupungua. Hata sasa ni vifurushi vidogo vidogo vilivyobakia vya mja kubaguliwa kwa sababu ya rangi yake , ila ukabila aina nyingine upo.

Tukirejelea mifano yetu, tunaona kama kwamba ukabila wa rangi unaisha. Ndiyo, unaisha; ukabila wa rangi unaodhihirishwa wazi wazi. Ukweli ni kuwa ukabila wa rangi  bado upo! Ukabila wa rangi usiodhihirishwa waziwazi! Hivyo, utakuta, kwenye magari ya uchukuzi ya umma, Mzungu au Mhindi amesimama ilhali Mwafrika ameketi kwani ndiye aliyetangulia kuingia. Ila usifikiri eti ukabila huo wa rangi umekwisha.

Bw. George Harrison hatakubali  kamwe bintiye Mary Anne aolewe na Kamau wa Thiong’o, nao wakipendana kweli kweli; ingawa yeye husema kuwa ni mtu mstaarabu asiye bagua kwa rangi. Bali ataka Ford Livingstone amuoe Mary Anne. Kamau wa Thiongo ni daktari, tena mwenye mali nyingi ilhali Ford Livingstone hajasoma sana na ana kibanda kidogo tu cha kuuzia maua, tena mwenye kupenda kupiga maji saa zote. Naye Mama Otieno hatakubali kamwe Otieno kufunga ndua na Charity Hardy ingawa wanapendana kama chanda na pete.

Otieno akimjua Charity huko kwenye chuo cha Oxford wakati akisomea uwakili, naye Charity Hardy akisomea Sayansi ya kompyuta. Lake Mama Otieno ni kumtaka Otieno amuoe mwana mwali wa hapo kijijini mwao.

Hebu sasa tuangazie ukabila wa kiuchumi. Kuna nchi zilizoendelea sana na nchi zisizoendelea sana. Nazo nchi zilizoendelea zikinyanyasa na kuwekea vikwazo aina mbali mbali nchi zisizoendelea, kwa manufaa yao. Hata wataalamu kutoka nchi zilizoendelea wakiajiriwa na nchi zisizoendelea na kupewa nyadhifa kubwa mbalimbali zenye mishahara minono, nayo mali waipatayo ikirejea watokako.

Au watu kutoka nchi zilizoendelea wakaanzisha biashara zao huko kwenye nchi zisizoendelea. Nao watu wa nchi hizo wakaona kama ndio wenye kufaidi kwani hizo biashara huongeza na kutoa upya nafasi za kazi. Ndio, wanafaidi kidogo ila ukweli ni kuwa wenye kufaidi vilivyo ni watu wa huko watokako kwani faidi nyingi hurejeshwa huko.

Nchi yoyote mle, iwe imeendelea sana au la, bado utapata kuwa kuna ukabila wa kiuchumi. Watu wengine watakuwa wamejirundikiza mali hata wakashindwa watafanya nini nayo ilhali ndugu zao wanavaa matambara na kulala njaa kwenye barabara za mitaani. Nayo makabila haya yakiwa ni kabila la maskini na kabila la tajiri. Maskini akiwa mtu asiyekuwa na pato la kutosha naye tajiri akiwa mtu mwenye mali nyingi. Maskini kila siku akitumai kuwa mwanawe ndiye mwenye kumfaidi ilhali tajiri akitegemea mali yake. Hata kukaundwa methali isemayo kuwa ‘tajiri na maliye,maskini na mwanawe’.       Kwenye kabila la utajiri, kuna makabila mawili; kabila la bepari na kabila la bwanyenye. Bepari akiwa ni mfanyi biashara mkubwa mwenye kumiliki rasilimali na njia kuu za uchumi katika kuzalisha mali kwa faida yake mwenyewe na ni mmojawapo katika tabaka la wanyonyaji. Bwanyenye naye akiwa ni mtu mwenye mali nyingi lakini si mwenye rasilimali ya kibepari.

Hivyo tunaweza kumfahamu bepari kama tajiri wa ‘ Mercedez Benz’, ‘Prado’ na magari mengine makubwa makubwa ya kifahari. Naye kuyabadili kama sisi tunavyobadili nguo. Naye huenda akawa  na mashamba makubwa makubwa, hata labda mengine yakikaa ovyo bila ya kutumika. Huenda akawa na viwanda vingi na biashara nyingi kubwa kubwa. Nayo tabia kweli ni ya kibepari, labda hali vyakula vikuzavyo humu nchini, vyake vikija na ndege kutoka Ulaya. Akivaa mavazi ya kifahari na kuishi kwenye majumba makubwa makubwa, labda jumba moja likiwa na vyumba sita ndani yake, choo, bafu na meko. Samani nyumbani humo ikiwa ni ya kifahari na ghali kweli kweli, naye ni mtu mmoja tu, hata ukashindwa vyumba hivyo avitakiani. Naye akiishi na mabepari wengine kama majirani kwenye mitaa ya kifahari.

Bwanyenye naye tunaweza kumchukua kama tajiri wa ‘Pick up’ – tajiri wa magari madogo madogo kama vile ya uchukuzi mdogo wa bidhaa. Labda hilo gari lako dogo likichukulia bidhaa akizipeleka kwenye biashara yake ndogo. Naye ana vyumba kadha vya kukodisha. Mali yake inatosha kukidhi matakwa yake ya kila siku ila hatosheki, siku zote akitaka kuwa bepari. Hivyo, katika ile hali ya kutaka kuwa bepari, huenda akazidi kuwadhulumu nduguze masikini zaidi. Akaongeza bei ya vyumba vyake vya kukodisha bila ya kuwaarifu wapangaji wake. Yeye anaishi mtaa moja na mafukara ila nyumba yake ni kubwa na yenye kupendeza zaidi.

Ukabila mwingine ni wa kijamii. Hivyo utamkuta mtu kumkataza mwanawe kumuoa mtu wa kabila lingine hata kama wanapendana . Kisingizio kikiwa eti mila na desturi za kabila lao na kabila hilo lingine hazifanani. Basi huenda ikiwa watafunga ndoa, mwana wao huenda akataabika kwani hazijui au kuzizoea desturi za wakweze. Jambo hili huenda likawa nikweli, ila pale desturi na mila zao zikiwa sawa, kizuizi kingine kitapatikana. Ukweli ukiwa kuwa mama au baba anahofia kusemwa na watu wake.

Ukabila huu wa jamii huwa umeenea sana hata mahali kwingine kukachukuliwa kama makao ya kabila fulani. Hivyo, mtu wa kabila lingine akifanya makao hapo, huonewa sana. Hata ukapata kuwa nchini, kabila moja ndilo lenye utajiri sana kuliko makabila mengine, nao watu wake kuwa watu mashuhuri serikalini au kushikilia nyadhifa kuu kuu kwenge makampuni.

Nao hawa watu wakawapendelea watu wa kabila lao. Ndiposa ukienda kampuni fulani au shirika fulani au idara fulani ukapata Wahoihoi ndio wamejaa. Nawe ukiwa Msapere, ukataabika kweli kabla ya kuhudumiwa.

Ukabila huu ni mbaya sana kwani hubidi kila mtu ajiweke kwenye kabila fulani na kujitenga na makabila mengine. Hata utawasikia Wasapere wakisema kuwa watamchagua Mwivi kuwa rais kwa sababu ni wa kabila lao, angalau wapate ‘kula’. Kula ikichukuliwa kumaanisha kuwa watu wa kabila lakewatapata mweke wa kujirundikizia mali ya nchi. Naye Mwivi akijulikana kama mnyang’anyi na pwaguzi wa daraja la juu. Ila hawawezi kumchagua Mwema awe rais kwa sababu ni Mhoihoi.

Ukabila mwingine ni wa kijinsia. Huu ni ule ukabila wa kumbagua mtu kwa minajili ya uke au uume. Hivyo utamsikia Mama Onyango akimwambia Onyango asivioshe vyombo kwani hiyo ni kazi ya wanawake. Kazi hiyo ibaki kufanywa na dadake, Atieno, ambaye ameenda kuteka maji wakati huo – kazi ingine ya wanawake; kulingana na Mama Onyango. Hata Onyango atakua akijua kama kazi hizo ni za wanawake.

Hata pale akishapata jiko, na mkewe awe mgonjwa, Onyango hawezi kumsaidia kuviosha vyombo au kupiga nyumba deki. Mkewe avioshe hivyo vyombo, afue nguo, apige nyumba deki na kumpikia mumewe. Nao ugonjwa umzidi sana hata alazwe hospitalini au kuaga dunia. Onyango naye akimpenda mkewe kwelikweli, ila mafunzo mabaya ya mamake yawe yamemletea msiba. Mwiba wa kujidunga (kwa ujinga) usioambilika pole.

Atieno naye magumu hayaishii nyumbani mwao. Hata shuleni, bado huo ukabila wa jinsia upo. Hivyo utamsikia mwalimu wake wa lugha akimhimiza kuacha kutilia mkazo masomo ya sayansi kwani ni ya vijana wanaume. Huenda akaamini huo uwongo hata akisha kuwa mkubwa, atosheke tu kuitwa mke wa fulani. Kazi iwe kumzalia na kumlelea watoto huyo mume asiyepatikana nyumbani. Kumbe ana mwingine wa pembeni,naye daktari.

Naye huyo mwalimu wa lugha akiwa mwanamke; ndiposa watu kusema kuwa adui mkubwa wa wanawake ni wanawake wenyewe. Naye labda Atieno akiona kuwa mafunzo hayo ni rahisi, hata akapuuzilia mbali mawaidha ya mwalimu wake wa lugha. Mwishowe akawa wakili; kwa sababu ni mwanamke aliyezinduka. Ukapata kuwa wasichana wake wakisha kuwa wazima ni madaktari au mahakimu wenye kuheshimiwa sana.

Kwenye jamii, bado tutayapata makabila mengine madogo. Kwa mfano, kabila la kifungua mimba, kitinda mamba na walio katikati ya hawa wawili; yaani, ukabila wa kinyumbani. Hivyo utawakuta wazazi wengi wakipendelea sana watoto wao vitinda mamba na vifungua mimba, wakawasahau watoto wengine. Hivyo, kwenye ayali ya akina Juma, naye kifungua mamba, yeye anapendelewa juu ya wenzake. Mavazi mazuri anayo, anasomea shule za kifahari na hata kufanywa kama kuwa ni mwanasesere, ambembelezwe vilivyo. Sawa na Hamisi, kitinda mimba wao.

Huu ukabila ni mbaya sana kwani hao watoto wengine hukua wakijidharau na kujichukulia kama wao si wenye thamani. Wakakuwa watu wasiojali kitu na huku wakiwachukia wazazi wao. Hata mazishi hawatokei kuwapa heri za mwisho. Aidha hayo au wakawa watu wenye kujitegemea na kuwa na mali nyingi, ila utu hawana. Naye Juma na Hamisi wakawa watu wazima ila hata kujitoa kamasi ni swala gumu, lazima pawe na mtu wa kuwahimiza kufanya hili au lile;maanake wakazoea kuwategemea wazazi. Wakakaa kama wenye kuzubaa, nayo mambo inawapita.

Ukabila mwingine ni ule wa elimu. Hivyo utapata kabila la waliosoma na wasiosoma. Nao wasiosoma sana sana ndio wenye kushikilia kazi duni, tena zenye kuumiza ; kazi nzuri zikiwa hifadhi ya waliosoma. Labda mtu hakusoma kwa kuwa watu wake hawana chao, au hawakuona faida ya masomo. Ama akasomea kwenye shule duni isiyo na walimu wenye kuhitimu vyema, mwishoni mambo yake yakatumbukia nyongo, naye ni mtu mwenye akili sana. Akaishia kuwa jangili badala ya waziri. Labda kwenye kijiji fulani, utakuta kuwa mtu mmoja ndiye mwenye shahada huku ukienda kijiji kingine, watu wengi sana wana shahada. Miaka kumi baadaye, utaona kuwa hiki kijiji kimeendelea zaidi ya hicho kingine. Maanake kimefaidi kutokana na elimu ya watu wake.

Kwenye hilo kabila la elimu bado utapata makabila mengine madogo. Nayo ni kabila la waliozinduka na kabila la wajinga. Mja huenda akawa amesoma sana ila bado ni mjinga. Labda akishikilia mila za kale zenye kupitwa na wakati eti anarudi kwenye mizizi ya mababu wake. Hivyo wasichana wake wafanyiwe tohara ; kumbe afanyacho ni kuwaharibia maisha yao. Hawa ndio tusemao kuwa wamesoma sana hata wakapumbaa. Nalo kabila la waliozinduka hufaidi sana. Labda mtu mwenyewe hajasoma sana, ila ni mwenye kuzinduka na anajua faida ya masomo. Akajikaza kisabuni watoto wake wapate elimu, hata wahitimu na mashahada. Mwishowe, yeye ndiye wa kufaidi.

Ukabila mwingine ni ule unaohusika na mila na desturi. Nazo zipo kabila kadha. Kuna lile kabila la kuzidi kushikilia mila, desturi na itikadi za jadi kadhaa na kuiga mila geni kadhaa. Ila kwanza huziweka kwenye ratili, wakaweza kupima na kuona uzuri au ubaya wake, wakachukua zenye kuwanufaisha. Basi wakafaidi kwa yote mawili.

Kwenye hili kabila la kushikilia mila, desturi na itikadi za jadi, utawakuta wasichana wao kufanyiwa tohara. Nao wavulana wao vivyo hivyo, ila wanapelekwa mitoni na kutahiriwa kwa wembe mmoja. Nalo kabila hili huchangia pakubwa katika kurudisha nyuma maendeleo ya nchi. Kwa mfano, wasichana hao huenda wakaona ugumu kuzaa mtoto kwa njia ya kawaida kwani viungo vyao vya uzazi vilidhurika wakifanyiwa tohara, ikabidi wafanyiwe upasuaji wakati wa kuzaa.

Hata tendo la kujamiiana wakaona ugumu, ikabaki ni waume wao kurandaranda nje, wakirudi wanawaambukiza viini vya ukimwi au magonjwa fulani yanayoenezwa kupitia kujihusisha na ngono. Nao wavulana wakitahiriwa kwa kisu kimoja, naye mmoja wao ana ukimwi,basi atawaambukiza wenzake. Hili kabila likishikilia kuwa mwacha mila ni mtumwa.

Tukiliangazia kabila la kuiga mila, tutapata mambo yameharibika zaidi. Kijana msichana utampata amevalia mavazi ya kiume na nywele kunyoa. Kisha anatembea katikati ya kundi la wanaume, sigara mdomoni. Ukimuuliza atakwambia yeye ni mwanamke mwenye kusoma na kuzinduka. Mwanamke anayefahamu ustaarabu ni nini. Miezi sita baadaye, huku tumbo limefura na mimba asiyojua ni ya nani, anagundua kuwa hao wanaume waliojisingizia urafiki walikuwa mafisi waliovyalia ngozi za kondoo !

Ukidhani umeyaona ya Musa, basi ya Firauni utayaona pale utakapokutana na kijana mvulana. Utampata amesuka nywele, kucha akazitia hina, nyusi akazipaka wanja, herini kwenye masikio na bangili mikononi, tena akijihusisha  na uhanithi, eti asema ana haki ya kufanya atakavyo ! Kisha auita ustaarabu na maendeleo ! Maendeleo kweli.

Kwa kuwa tayari tumejua ukabila ni nini na kuona jinsi unavyodhuru watu na nchi, sasa ni wakati wa kutafuta njia mwafaka za kuukomesha. La kwanza na lililo kubwa zaidi ni kuwaelimisha na kuwazindua watu. Shuleni, wanafunzi wawe wanafundishwa na kuonyeshwa jinsi ukabila unavyorudisha maendeleo ya nchi na hata yao binafsi nyuma. Kama ni wasichana, watiwe motisha wa kusomea taaluma yoyote ile watakayo, hata kama inahusu mambo ya kisayansi na kiteknolojia. Ikiwa wanawake madaktari, mawakili na wenye taaluma mbalimbali wataongezeka, basi jamii nzima itafaidika zaidi kwani mama hufikiri yake na ya jamii yake, ilhali baba mara nyingi hujifikiri tu.

Wavulana nao waelimishwe kuhusu umuhimu wa kuwaheshimu dada zao, hata wakue wakiwaheshimu wanawake kwa jumla. Wafunzwe kuwa hakuna kazi iliyotengewa mke na ingine ikatengewa mume, kwani wote ni sawa mbele ya Mola. Kama mvulana akiteka maji ilhali dadake anafua nguo, basi atamrahisishia dadake kazi. Hata akiwa mtu mzima, na jinsi maisha ilivyo siku hizi, huenda yeye na bibiye wakifanya kazi. Jioni, wote wanahisi uchovu ila yeye kazi isiwe kukaa kwenye sofa na kusoma gazeti huku amemwachia mkewe kazi zote za nyumbani. Yeye apike naye bibi aoshe vyombo, hata wote wakae wakiheshimiana, kusikilizana na kupendana sana. Watoto wao nao watakua vivyo hivyo, wenye kuheshimu kila mtu na wenye kupenda kuwasaidia wengine.

Nao watu wazima waitwe mabarazani na kupewa mafunzo. Pia wao waonyeshwe jinsi tabia zao za kuwa na ukabila zinavyowadhulumu wenzao au kuchangia katika kurudisha maendeleo ya nchi au eneo wanamoishi nyuma. Wahamasishwe kuacha ukabila kwani wao ni wazazi wenye kuigwa tabia na wanao ; wakumbushwe kuwa mwana wa nyoka ni nyoka. Wazinduliwe na kuonyeshwa vile desturi na mila zingine wanazoshikilia zinavyowadhuru wenyewe au watoto wao, nao wakitaka tu kuwasaidia wanao. Waonyeshwe vile, kwa mfano, tohara inayofanyiwa wasichana au wavulana wao inavyoweza kuwadhuru. Hata wakiona kuwa kufuata desturi na mila fulani fulani ni kuhatarisha maisha ya wanao,basi watabadili.Njia nyingine ya kukabiliana na ukabila ni kutokuwa na mapendeleo kwa mtu kwa sababu  ni wa hili kabila au lile tabaka. Hata ni shauri bora miswada ipelekwe mbungeni ijadiliwe vilivyo na kufanyiwa marekebisho yapasayo, mwishowe ipitishwe kama sheria. Miswada hii ni kama vile kuwatengea wanawake na watu wengine wanaodhulumiwa viti vyao mbungeni.

Labda tuseme kuwa thuluthi moja ya wabunge lazima iwe ni akina mama. Naye rais asiwe tu akitoka kabila moja pekee, labda kwa sababu lina watu wengi sana na hivyo mmoja wao akapata kura nyingi wakati wa uchaguzi. Kuwe na usawa pia katika kuteuliwa kwa mawaziri na watu wenye vyeo mbalimbali serikalini, ili kila mtu awe akiwakilishwa vilivyo. Hata kama ni usajili wa askari, polisi, jeshi au kazi nyingine yoyote ya mtu wa kawaida, kuwe na usawa.

Jambo lingine litakalosaidia katika vita dhidi ya ukabila ni utekelezaji wa maendeleo nchini kote. Viwanda vianzishwe huko mashambani ili idadi ya watu wanaoenda mijini kutafuta kazi ipungue.Barabara zitengenezwe ili kurahisishia wakulima kazi ya kupeleka mazao yao kwenye masoko. Wakulima hawa pia wapewe mikopo ili waweze kununua mbeu za hali ya juu, dawa za kunyunyizia mimea na mifugo n.k. n.k. Utafiti wa kisayansi pia utiliwe maanani kwani mbeu zingine bora zaidi huenda zikapatikana au njia bora za utekelezaji wa kilimo. Nao watu wasio na mashamba wapate kugawiwa vipande vipande vya ardhi angalau waweze kujikimu kimaisha. Mabepari wenye mashamba makubwa makubwa yasiyotumiwa wapokonywe na kugawiwa wenye kukosa mashamba.

Kila mahali kuwe na umeme na maji safi ; idadi ya hospitali na zahanati ziongezwe, hata kuundwe halmashauri ya kuchunguza na kuhakikisha kuwa madaktari, wagangaji na wauguzi wamehitimu vilivyo. Usalamu pia uimarishwe kote. Mambo haya yakitekelezwa, basi maendeleo yatawezekana kwani, kwa mfano, mtu akianzisha biashara  yake, atakuwa na uhakika kuwa itaendelea bila ya kukumbwa na matatizo mengi yawezayo kuepukwa.

Jambo la mwisho ni kuhakikisha kuwa kuna usawa katika ekimu. Shule za upili za kitaifa, kwa mfano, ziwachukue wanafunzi kutoka kila eneo pasi ya kusisitiza kuwa kila mmoja awe na alama za juu zaidi. Kama tujuavyo, watu wa eneo fulani huenda wakawa wakiishi na taabu nyingi, hata watoto wao hawapati alama za juu, ila wakienda kwenye hizi shule, ukaona kuwa wanapata alama za juu sana. Jambo hili pia litiliwe mkazo kwenye vyuo vikuu ; pamoja na hayo, wanafunzi wa kike wapate kutengewa nafasi zao kwenye hivyo vyuo vikuu.

Ikiwa mambo haya yatatekelezwa ; huku yakifanyiwa marekebisho mwafaka mara kwa mara, basi usawa utasitawi. Nao usawa huu utasaidia sana kuuangamiza ukabila.




Onyesho la nne

(…. hushuka ; Visa na mikasa)

(Ofisini mwa Kombo, wakati wa asubuhi. Bw. Tembo amekuja kumwona akitaka wasuluhishe jambo fulani. Hii ni siku ya kuamkia baada ya ile siku, hapo kwenye

utangulizi, ambapo Bw. Chapa aliwasimulia ngano ya Hamdi na Tembo)


Bw. Tembo : Hujambo!

Kombo : Sijambo ! Karibu kiti.

Bw. Tembo : Ahsante. (Anaketi kwenye kiti upande kinyume na Kombo).

Kombo : Naweza kukuagizia chochote? (Anafanya kama kuchukua simu kumwita katibu wake.)

Bw. Tembo :  La, ahsante. Ila nina haraka. (Kombo anairudisha simu mahali pake.) Swala lililonileta hapa ni kukufikishia wewe ujumbe kutoka kwa Bw. Chapa. ( Kombo anaonekana kukunja uso ; labda kwa sababu ya wasiwasi.)

Kombo : Enhe ?

Bw. Tembo : Ela usinichukulie vibaya, mimi sina ubaya wowote nawe …. mimi tu mjumbe.

Kombo : Nakufahamu. Mjumbe hauawi.

Bw. Tembo : Unakumbuka hapo jana, Bw. Chapa alitusimulia ya Hamdi na Tembo. Nalo swali likiwa : kati yetu, nani Tembo ?

Kombo : (Akijaribu ucheshi, ila bado anaonekana kuwa na wasiwasi.) Wewe ndiwe Tembo, maanake unaitwa Bw. Tembo. Nadhani kuna jambo alilokuwa akikueleza, ila hakutaka sisi tulijue, ndiposa kutupa ngano. (Wote wanatabasamu kidogo, ila ni tabasamu za wasiwasi.)

Bw. Tembo : (Anakohoa kidogo kusafisha koo). Hata mimi nilidhani hivyo. Kama ilivyo, mimi na Bw. Chapa tumekuwa na tofauti kidogo baina yetu. Ila si hitilafu kubwa zinazoweza kuleta uhasama baina yetu hadi juzi juzi.

Kombo : Wakati ulipotaka mwanawe afanywe mkurugenzi katika Taasisi ya kilimo ?

Naye anamtafutia mtu wa kwake.

Bw. Tembo : Ala ! Ulijuaje hayo? (Anaonekana mwenye kushtuka.)

Kombo :  Nina majasusi wangu wanaonifahamisha kuhusu matukio yote.

Bw. Tembo : Basi. Hivyo, nikaenda kumwona Bw. Chapa jana jioni tulisuluhishe hilo jambo kama watu wazima. Bw. chapa si mtu ungetaka kufanya uhasama naye.

Kombo : Nini kikatukia ?

Bw. Tembo : Nikamwendea kwa unyenyekevu huku nikitaka msamaha kama nimemkosea. Ila nikakuta si hilo linalomkera. Hata nikarudiwa na furaha, simanzi ikanitoka.

Kombo : (Wasiwasi unaanza kumrudia. Hata sauti yake inaonekana yenye kutetema pale anapofungua kinywa kuzungumza).

Mlipokwisha kujadili, ulifahamu kama nini kikimkera Bw. Chapa ?

Bw. Tembo : (Sasa wameangaliana ana kwa ana, huku wamekaziana macho.) Adai kuna mtu aliye na uhasidi naye, hata kutaka kumng’oa pale alipo. ( Kombo anaangalia kando na anaonekana mwenye wasiwasi mkuu. Kisha anamgeukia Bw. Tembo.)

Kombo : Haya basi. Wacha usikie kutoka kinywani changu mwenyewe; tayari akikueleza hayo. Mimi nilimfanyia fitina yeye ang’olewa hapo, mpwa wangu aupate huo wadhifa wake.

Bw. Tembo :  Mbona hivyo ? Umeharibu kabisa!

Kombo : Mbona hivyo? Bw. Chapa ni mtu  mwenye uwezo mkubwa, naye haambiwi haambiliki; hata kufanya kazi naye ni jambo gumu kwani saa yote wajiona kama una wasiwasi.

Bw. Tembo : Ukweli huo, ila ungetafuta njia nyingine ya kumwangamiza, pasi yeye kujua ni nani anayemtakia mabaya.

Kombo : Mimi na wewe tuko mikononi mwa……………..

Bw. Tembo : La! La! La! Mimi nimemwendea na kumtaka msamaha naye amekubali. Sitajaribu kamwe kumfitini. Hata wewe ningekusihi ufanye hivyo. Huko kutupa ngano ya Hamdi na Tembo, kulikusudiwa kulenga nyoni mbili kwa jiwe moja. Nyoni moja tayari imetubu.

Kombo : Sikiliza ndugu, nitatubu, ila huo sio mwisho, kwani hataniamini tena. Siku zote akinifanyia hila nipate kuangamia. Ila baada ya kutubu, nitafute njia nyingine ya kumwangamiza kabla ya yeye kuniwahi.

Bw. Tembo : Sioni kama hilo ni shauri njema. Uvumi uliopo ni kuwa yeye ni mtu mwenye kufanyiziwa hirizi, hata kumuangamiza huwezi.

Kombo : Mimi siuamini uchawi. Huna nguvu kamwe.

Bw. Tembo : Wengi wanaumini. Jambo usilolifahamu vyema ni heri kuachana nalo.

Kombo : Nakuhakikishia kuwa huna nguvu. Tena wewe si kafiri uamini hayo.

Bw. Tembo : Langu tu ni kukushurutisha utahadhari kabla ya athari. (Kombo sasa amefahamu kuwa Bw. Tembo yuko upande wa Bw. Chapa, hivyo anageuza mbinu. Anaukunja uso kwa muda, huku amejishika tama, kama mwenye kutafakari, kisha anamtazama Bw. Tembo).

Kombo : Kweli, ni heri kutubu na kuacha kumfitini. Sasa lililobaki ni kutafuta mjumbe amfikishie hiyo habari, baadaye nijipeleke mimi mwenyewe.

Bw. Tembo : Naona kama akitaka mimi niwe mjumbe.

Kombo : Mimi na wewe ni marafiki wakubwa, tena tukitoana mbali, urafiki wetu si wa leo au jana. Tena ukabarikiwa kwa nyama ya ulimi, hata nyoka unaweza kumtoa pangoni. Naona ni vyema ukirudi kumfikishia majibu, uzungumze vizuri kunihusu. Tafadhali.

Bw. Tembo : Nitafanya hivyo. (Anasimama na kutoka kwenda, lakini Kombo anamwita).

Kombo : Ngoja kidogo rafiki. (Anatoa kijitabu chake cha hundi na kuandika hundi mbili : moja ya elfu hamsini na ingine ya laki tatu). Wajua, mkono mtupu haulambwi. Hii hapa zawadi (akimkabidhi hundi ya laki tatu), umkabidhi Bw. Chapa. Na hii ingine (akimkabidhi hundi ya elfu hamsini) ni shukrani kwako kwa kuitikia kuufikisha ujumbe wangu.

Bw. Tembo : (Anataka kwenda, ila anaonekana kufikiri jambo na kumgeukia Kombo). Kama ulivyosema, urafiki wetu wawili si wa jana au leo, tena tukisaidiana sana. Hata naona siwezi kuipokea hii zawadi uliyonitunukia mimi. Shukrani za kinywa toka kwako zatosha.

Kombo : (Akimbembeleza). Tafadhali ichukue, huenda hizo fedha zikakufaa. Tena mimi mtu mwenye changu, hata elfu hamsini ni kama shilingi tu kwangu.

Bw. Tembo : (Anaiweka hundi aliyokabidhiwa hapo kwenye dawati la Kombo). Nafahamu hayo, ila sioni kama ni vyema mimi kuichukua. Tayari umenisaidia vya kutosha, nami nina shukrani nyingi kwako, hata kupeleka ujumbe nisione kama ni jambo ngumu. (Anageuka na kuanza kutoka).

Kombo : Haya basi. Ahsante.

(Ofisini mwa Kombo. Siku ya kufuatia. Bw. Tembo amerudi kumwona akiwa na ujumbe kutoka kwa Bw. Chapa. Kombo anamtazama na kuona kama uso wake huna furaha, hivyo anajua mambo yameharibika, ila anangoja kuelezwa yaliyojiri).

Bw. Tembo : Hujambo ?

Kombo : Sijambo ! (Bw. Tembo anaketi na kushusha pumzi).

Bw. Tembo : Kuhusu ya jana. Bw. Chapa asema kuwa siku zote akichapisha habari nzuri kukuhusu, ila wewe tu ni punda, fadhila mashuzi.

Kombo : Ulimkabidhi hundi ?

Bw. Tembo : Ndiyo. (Bw. Tembo anaonekana kuwa mlegevu katika kumpasha Kombo ujumbe kutoka kwa Bw. Chapa).

Kombo : Alisema nini ? (Uso wake unaonekana kuwa na wasiwasi na kuwa na matarajio mazuri kwa wakati mmoja.

Bw. Tembo : (Anashusha pumzi). Alisema kuwa mbio zako za sakafuni zinaelekea kuishia ukingoni. (Anaingisha mkono kwenye mfuko wake wa korti na kutoa vitu fulani. Anaviweka kwenye dawati ya Kombo. Moja ni ile hundi ya laki tatu iliyoandikwa na Kombo ; nayo ya pili ni barua kutoka kwa Bw. Chapa. Kombo anakunja wajihi na kuonekana kuwa na wasiwasi mwingi, hata mikono yake kutetema wakati akifungua bahasha. Mikunjo usoni mwake inazidi kuongezeka, hata kumfanya kuonekana kazeeka kwa miongo miwili, vile anavyoendelea kuisoma barua. Barua yenyewe yasema……


Waziri Kombo,


Hapo juzi niliwapa hekaya ya Hamdi na Tembo. Nikauliza kama nani ndiye Tembo. Basi, nilitaraji wewe utafahamu kama kuwa Tembo ni wewe ; huko kunifitini mimi, kazi yangu apewe mpwa wako. Huu ndio urafiki kweli ? Mimi kila siku nikihakikisha kuwa habari zote kukuhusu zinazochapishwa na gazeti la ‘Siku Zote’ ni kukusifu wewe. Jinsi waziri Kombo alivyoanzisha hili au lile……ila ukweli ni kuwa wewe ni mtu fisadi sana. Maendeleo yoyote uliyoyafanya kwenye eneo bunge lako yanapatikana tu nyumbani kwako.

Sasa umeutikisa mzinga wa nyuki, hivyo kaa tayari kukabiliana na miiba ya nyuki wenye ghadhabu. Wao wakikupa asali, ila hutosheki, hata ukataka kuwaharibia makao yao. Jambo la busara ungefanya ni kuja kuniona binafsi siku hiyo hiyo ; labda ungepata nikiwa na moyo wenye huruma, ela sasa moyo wangu umekuwa mgumu kama wa Firauni. Tena kuutia msumari moto kwenye kidonda, unajaribu kunihadaa kwa laki tatu. Kunidharau kulikoni ! Marupurupu ninayopata kwa muda wa juma moja ni zaidi ya hizo, mshahara je ? Vita vimeanza, hivyo ningekuhimiza ukusanye zana zako za vita, ukae tayari.




Hasidi wako,

Bw. Chapa


(Jasho jembamba linamtiririka Kombo, huku macho kayakodoa na kinywa kuwa wazi. Hata anaonekana mwenye kutaka kupoteza fahamu. Maneno ya Bw. Tembo ndiyo yanayomzindua, kama kwa umbali, pale anapoanza kujisemezea).

Kombo : Mmh ! Mambo yangu sasa yameanza kuharibika, ila mimi sitaenda chini bila ya vita. Anadhani yeye kuwa nani ? Atanitambua miye ni…………

Bw. Tembo : Kombo ! Kombo! Nini mbaya ? (Kombo anazinduka), Nini kilichoandikwa hapo kikakufanya ukae kama mtu aliyeruka akili?

Kombo : (Anajaribu kutabasamu, ila ni misuli pekee inayoonekana kwenye wajihi wake). Hamna. Ni jambo ndogo tu. (Anataka kuirarua barua ila Bw. Tembo anaiwahi na kuipokonya kabla ya yeye kufanya hivyo. Bw. Tembo anaisoma barua, naye pia anaonekana kushangazwa, hata kufungua kifungo cha juu cha shati lake angalau aweze kupumua vizuri).

Bw. Tembo : Lo ! Mambo yamechacha. Labda nijaribu kumwona tena nione kama atabadili: nia. (Anasema haya ; ila sauti yake ina unyonge, kama ya mtu mwenye kuropoka mambo asiyokusudia kufanya. Kwa upande wake, Kombo sasa amerudia hali yake ya kawaida).

Kombo: La! Hakuna haja ya kumwona tena. Mimi ni mwanamume, nijaliwalo nitapatana nalo. Basi, na vita viweko, tuone nani mwenye nguvu zaidi. Hata naona kama nchi hii imekuwa ndogo kututosheleza sisi wawili, angalau mmoja ndio abaki.

Bw. Tembo : (Sauti yake bado ina udhaifu). Usifanye hayo, huko ni kujiangamiza. Bora umpe nafasi pia naye apate kutafakari, aone kuwa uhasama baina yenu wawili utawaumiza nyote. Upeleke ujumbe mwingine, na hedaya kubwa zaidi. Mwishowe, ugomvi utaisha, urafiki upate kuendelea. Nyinyi ni watu wa ukoo mmoja, daima, hasira dhidi ya ndugu  huhisiwa kwenye nyama, sio kwenye mifupa.

Kombo : Mimi tayari nimekata kauli. Akitaka vita,basi atapata vita.Sijawahi sikiia afua zikizidi mbili ; siku zote ni mbili : kufa na kupona. Mfikishie  huo ujumbe.

Bw. Tembo : (Anayainua mabega kuonyesha kuwa hana hiari bali kufanya aliloagizwa). Haya basi, ila kumbuka kuwa kwa shujaa…..(Anaondoka na kwenda zake).

(Juma moja baadaye, ofisini mwa Kombo. Tunawaona Kombo na Mpole wakizungumza. Wote wanaonekana wenye hamaki. Dawatini mwa Kombo mna gazeti la ‘Siku Zote.’ Taarifa kuu, kwenye ukurasa wa kwanza, inamhusu Kombo. Nayo ni kama ifuatayo……..)



Waziri wa Kawi, Bw. Kombo, anashukiwa kuhusika katika visa kadha vya ufisadi. Kisa cha kwanza cha ufisadi alioutekeleza kinahusu utoaji wa kondrati ya kueneza umeme mashambani. Kondrati hiyo ilipewa kampuni ya MPOMBO KOLE bila kufuata utaratibu wa kisheria ; navyo vithibiti vinaonyesha kuwa kampuni hiyo inamilikiwa na Bw. Kombo na Bw. Mpole…..


Kombo : Baradhuli huyo ameamua kuniangamiza ! Lakini huu mwanzo tu, haya hayaishii hapo.

Mpole : Kweli ni mwanzo tu ! Kesho huyo mtovu wa adabu atachapisha habari zilizozidi za leo !

Kombo : Kafiri ! Ajiona kuwa aweza kufanya lolote kwa sababu yeye ndiye mhariri ! Nitamwonyesha cha mtema kuni !

Mpole : (Utulivu sasa umemrejelea). Naona kama hasira yetu itazidi kuwa hasara. Bora tukae chini tupange jinsi ya kujiokoa. Mimi nimuone, tupate kuafikiana. Hizo habari azitupilie mbali, hata achapishe habari zingine zinazosema kama za leo kuwa za uwongo.

Kombo : Wewe huelewi. Sasa mahasidi wangu wote watajiunga na hivi vita, nao hakuna kuwakomesha. Labda hata huyo mpinzani wangu kwenye eneo bunge ampatie fedha nyingi ili yeye kuzidi kuchapisha habari hizo. Watu wa magazeti wote ni kama lumbwi ; wanaweza kukugeuka wakati wowote ili wao wapate kujiendeleza. Maji sasa yamemwagika, nayo hayazoleki. La kufanya ni kuongoja tuone mwisho wake.


(Siku tatu baadaye. Taarifa kuu kwenye magazeti zinamhusu Kombo na ufisadi wake. Taarifa ya ‘Ukweli’ yasema : SIKU ZA MWIZI NI AROBAINI. Ile ya ‘Nuru’ (Nayo ikijulikana kupendelea upande wa serikali yasema : KOMBO : HUU NI UONEVU. Taarifa iliyotiliwa mkazo kwenye gazeti la ‘Huru’ yasema : KOMBO MATATANI. . ‘Siku Zote’ inatangaza kuwa : KOMBO NI MFISADI KAMILI. Kombo na Mpole wako ofisini mwake wakizungumza, huku umati wa watu ukiwa umekusanyika nje ya lango la wizara. Watu hao wanafanya maandamano wakimtaka Kombo kuachishwa kazi. Askari wa kuvunja maandamano ndio wenye kushika doria).

Kombo : Lo ! sikujua mambo yangekuwa mabaya hivi. Mwisho wangu unakaribia.

Mpole : Kisha huyo mwonevu, Bw. Chapa, akazipokea hizo milioni tatu ulizonituma nimkabidhi, akisingizia kuwa habari hizo zitakoma.

Kombo : Najua kilichotukia. Haikosi alimwendea hasimu wangu mmoja, akamwonyesha fedha nilizompa, naye hasidi huyo akampa fedha mara mbili.Hata nisishtuke kesho kuona habari hizo zikichapishwa kwenye gazeti lake. (Anacheka kicheko chenye maumivu na kuendelea kusema). KOMBO AJARIBU KUMHONGA MHARIRI WA GAZETI LA SIKU ZOTE. (Huko nje, waandamanaji wanazidi kupiga kelele).


Kombo lazima aende!

Kombo na ukaandamizaji wake,

Kombo lazima aende

Kombo na fitina yake,

Kombo lazima aende.

Kombo na maonevu yake,

Kombo lazima aende!


Kombo : Unadhani watu  hawa wametoka wapi?

Mpole : Labda ni watu wenye kuamini hizo taarifa zinazochapishwa magazetini.

Kombo: Mimi siye waziri wa kwanza kuambiwa kahusika na ufisadi.

Mpole : Kweli. Habari hizo zikiwapo kila siku. Ela leo ni siku ya kwanza kuona watu wakifanya maandamano.

Kombo : Nakuambia, watu hawa wamepewa fedha na mahasimu wangu, waandamane hata mimi kufutwa kazi, nao mahasimu wapate kufaidi.


(Huko nje, kelele za waandamanaji zinazidi  kupata nguvu, nao askari wanaonekana kukaa chonjo wakabiliane vilivyo na lolote litakalotukia).


Waandamanaji : Kombo na ufisadi wake,

Kombo lazima aende!

Kombo na ukandamizaji wake,

Kombo lazima aende!

Kombo na fitina yake,

Kombo lazima aende!

Kombo na maonevu yake,

Kombo lazima aende!


(Kelele zinazidi kupata nguvu, huku wengine wakichapisha miguu chini na kupiga makofi. Baadhi yao, hasa vijana, wanaanza kurusha mawe wakiyaelekeza kunako ofisi na kunako magari, huku vumbi ikiwafunika. Askari sasa wanaanza kazi; kazi ya kuwafunza adabu waandamanaji kwa kuwatandika vilivyo. Kwa upande wao waandamanaji, mtindo sasa ni wa miguu niponye. Vibao vilivyo na maandishi yanayomkashifu na kumkejeli yanatupwa kando katika harakati za kuhepa. Wengine wanaanguka na kukanyagwa na wenzao, ilhali wengine wanakamatwa na hao askari na kuchapwa sana kwa marungu kabla ya kutupwa ndani ya malori ya askari. Haya yote yanachukuliwa kwenye vinasasauti na kanda za video na wana ripoti na waandishi wa habari. Baadhi ya waandamanaji wanaungana huko walikotawanyika na kuendelea na maandamano yao, ila labda huenda hayana moto kama hapo awali. Wenye maduka na wafanyi biashara wadogo wadogo tayari walikwisha kufunga biashara zao pale walipoona maandamano hayo yanazidi kupamba moto).


(Siku ya kuamkia. Ofisini mwa Kombo, Tunamuona Kombo akikusanya vitu vyake. Hapo kwenye dawati kuna gazeti la ‘Siku Zote’ nalo linasema kuwa: WAZIRI KOMBO AACHISHWA KAZI! Sasa amefungua mtoto wa meza na anatoa majalada kadha na kuyawekelea hapo kwenye dawati. Anafungua mtoto wa meza lingine na kuanza kuyakagua majalada juu kwa juu. Anaonekana kama mwenye kutafuta jalada fulani. Mlango unabishwa naye kwenda kuufungua. Makachero wawili, pamoja na katibu wake Kombo, Jane, wanaingia ndani. Kombo anaonekana mwenye wasiwasi mwingi.)


Kachero 1: (Huku wakivitoa vitambulisho vyao na kumwonyesha Kombo). Tumetumwa tukutie mbaroni. Sasa uko mikononi mwa sheria; chochote unenacho chaweza kutumiwa kama ushahidi dhidi yako! (Anazitoa pingu. Kombo anataka kukataa kutiwa pingu; ila anafikiri kidogo na kisha kumwelekezea kachero mikono yote miwili, huku akiifanya kama kushikana. Anatiwa pingu. Huku haya yakijiri, kachero wa pili anayaangalia mafaili yaliyoko mezani na kisha kuyachukua. Jane naye anafungua mtoto wa meza kwenye kabati lililounganishwa na ukuta mmoja. Baada ya kukaguakagua, anatoa faili fulani).

Jane: Hii hapa bwana (Anamkabidhi kachero wa pili faili. Kombo anaonekana kushtuka na kutaka kusema kitu, ila hafanyi hivyo).

Kachero 2: (Akimwambia kachero wa kwanza). Naona kama tumemaliza shughuli zetu huku. (Makachero, wakiwa wamemtia Kombo katikati yao wanaondoka. Jane anabaki humo ndani akichokora chokora mafaili mengine. Mwishowe, anachukua mafaili mawili na kutoka, huku akifunga ofisi ya Kombo kwa nje).


(Mjini, nyumbani kwa Bw. Chapa, mkutano wa faragha unaendelea. Waliomo sebuleni ni mwenyeji wao Bw. Chapa, Bw. Tembo, Mpole, Mzushi, Mnyonge, Jane, Wakili wa serikali atakayeongoza mashtaka dhidi yake Kombo na Hakimu. Wanajiburudisha kwa vinywaji aina tofauti tofauti. Bw. Tembo kawaida yake ikiwa kileo aina ya ‘Tusker’).


Bw. Chapa: Naona kama miaka ishirini gerezani zitamfunza adabu vilivyo huyo mfitini!

Mpole : Naona kama ni vema ukiziweka kando tofauti baina yako na Kombo wakati tukijadili hili sua………………….

Bw. Chapa: Usiniingilie we! Tayari ulikuwa uangamie pamoja naye……..

Mpole: Hayo tulishayatatua, tusirudi huko!

Bw. Chapa: Tusirudi huko? Wewe ndiwe rafiki wake mkubwa, hata labda huko kumweka mafikirio ya kutaka mpwa wake aupate wadhifa wangu lilikuwa shauri lako we……..

Bw. Tembo : Basi! Ya kale tuyaache. Huu ni wakati wa kuyaganga yajayo. (Mpole na Bw.Chapa wanaacha ugomvi. Mpole pumzi zinamwenda mbio, huku akikunja na kukunjua ngumi, kama mtu mwenye kufanya hivyo ili ghadhabu zimwondokee).

Mpole: Bw. Chapa asema ukweli. Mimi rafiki mkubwa wa Kombo, ela huja wakati wa mja kufikiri mambo yake binafsi…..

Bw. Tembo: (Akimkatiza maneno). Ndiyo, hata mimi nahisi vibaya kumsaliti rafiki na mfadhili wangu mkubwa. Tena tukitoka mahali pamoja, ila kama asemavyo Mpole, wakati umefika wa kuiweka nchi mbele ya uroho wa mtu mmoja. (Baadhi ya waliopo wanaonekana kutikisa vichwa vyao kuonyesha kuafikiana na maneno asemayo Bw. Tembo, ingawa wanafahamu kuwa ni unafiki tu. Jane anajipata akitabasamu bila ya hiari yake, ila pale Hakimu anapomkazia macho, anakohoa kidogo na kukaza sura).

Mpole : Nataka tu uhakika kuwa maneno nitakayosema hayatatoka nje ya kuta za chumba hiki. (Anazungusha  macho yake chumbani huku akimwangalia kila mtu, kwa wakati wake, kwa muda kidogo. Anaona kama wamezingatia na kukubaliana na hayo asemayo).

Bw. Chapa : Pata uhakika toka kwangu kuwa tutakayoyazungumzia yatabaki humu ndani. (Mpole anaonekana kutosheka na maneno hayo).

Mpole : Tayari nimetajwa kuhusika pamoja na Kombo katika visa kadha vya ufisadi kwenye baadhi ya magazeti.

Hakimu : Usiwe na wasiwasi, hilo ni jambo rahisi kutatua.

Wakili : Ndiyo. Tayari mimi na Hakimu tumekwisha jadili na kuafikiana. Pale tu ulipotujia ukitaka msaada wetu, tukampigia simu Bw. Chapa na kumwarifu hayo.

Hakimu : (Akimpokeza maneno wakili). Hata tuliona ni bora kama kesi hiyo ikicheleweshwa kufanyiwa hukumu. Iletwe mbele ya mahakama baada ya miezi mitatu….

Mpole : (Akimkatiza maneno wakili) Miezi mitatu ! Wajua Kombo ni mtu mashuhuri. Kuteleza kwake sio kuanguka, hata sisi kumchukua kuwa mhalifu wa kawaida na kumfanyia usumbufu mwingi.

Hakimu : Hukunipa nafasi nimalize niliyokuwa nikisema. Kesho afikishwe mahakamani, ila aachiliwe kwa dhamana ya milioni tatu…………….

Bw. Chapa : Milioni tano. Tufaidi na hizo mbili za juu.

Hakimu : Aachiliwe kwa dhamana ya milioni tano hadi wakati wa kukatiwa shauri kwa kesi yake utakapowadia miezi mitatu baadaye.

Wakili : Kwa kuwa Bw. Chapa ametueleza wahaka wake kuhusu Kombo kujaribu kumtatanisha, tunaona kama ni shauri njema akitiwa ndani miaka saba. Angalau uwezo na nguvu zake zipungue kiasi, hata asiweze kumdhuru Bw. Chapa pale atakapoachiliwa huru. Miaka ishirini ni kumwonea tu.

Hakimu : Kukuhusu wewe Mpole, Bw. Chapa atakushughulikia vilivyo.

Bw. Chapa : Ndiyo, nitakahakikisha kuwa habari zote zinazohusu ufisadi baina yako na Kombo zimekoma ; hata yeye hatajua kama rafiki yake amemchongea. (Mpole anakunja uso, kisha anaukunjua bila ya kusema neno). Tayari nimetimiza lengo langu la kumtaka yeye kupigwa kalamu.

Wakili : Nazo kesi za ufisadi nitakazozifikishwa mbele ya mahakama zitakuwa dhidi ya Kombo pekee . Zilizochapishwa tayari na kukuhusisha wewe nitake zitupiliwe mbali na mahakama kwa kukosa ushahidi wa kutosha.

Mpole : Naona kama tutapelekana vema. Labda hata tukifanya biashara pamoja nyakati za usoni.

Hakimu : Tumelitatua jambo moja. Sasa na tumpangie Kombo kesi atakazo kabiliana nazo hapo mbele yetu mahakamani.

Wakili : Mzushi na Mnyonge. (Wote wanaitika). Mnajua ya kusema hapo mahakamani nitakapowataka mtoe ushahidi dhidi ya Kombo kuhusika na ufisadi?


Mnyonge :      Ndiyo. (Mnyonge anamwashiria Mzushi azungumze kwa kumtikisia kichwa)

Mzushi: (Akijifanya kama tayari yuko mahakamani). Bw. Hakimu Mheshimiwa, mimi kwa jina naitwa Mzushi, nami niko mbele ya mahakama hii leo kutoa ushahidi wa kuhusika na ufisadi dhidi ya aliyekuwa waziri wa kawi, Bw. Kombo. Mimi na rafiki yangu Mnyonge tulifutwa kazi hapo kwenye wizara yake, pale tulipoanza kuupinga ufisadi wake. Zaidi ya hayo, akatufuta kazi kwa sababu sis ni Wasapere…………

Hakimu: Naona kama umeshika maagizo yako vyema. (Akiashiria Mzushi na Mnyonge kama watoke hapo chumbani kwani wamemaliza shughuli nao). Mnaweza kwenda sasa.


Mnyonge :  (Huku wakisimama na kutoka). Ahsanteni sana. (Hakimu anangoja waondoke kwanza kabla ya kuendelea na mazungumzo.)

Hakimu : Jane. (Jane anafahamu kama ni wakati wake wa kumshtaki Kombo).

Jane: Mimi nitayatoa majalada kama vizibiti vya kuonyesha ufisadi wake.

Hakimu: Na hilo jambo lingine?

Jane: Wacha we! Sasa mimi nina miaka arobaini na tatu, tena nina watoto wakubwa. Kutoa ushahidi kama yeye aliwahi kunilawiti mara kadha nikiwa bado mgeni hapo ofisini mwake kunaweza kuniharibia mambo yangu.

Mpole: Lo! Akakulawiti!

Bw. Tembo: Nami nikimheshimu sana! Hata naona kama miaka ishirini, alivyotaka Bw. Chapa, ingemfunza adabu vya kutosha! Ila tayari tumekubaliana atumbukizwe gerezani miaka saba.

Bw. Chapa: Nyinyi marafiki wake, naye hakuwahi kuwaeleza hayo! Mimi nikimjua alivyo, ila nikaona kama tunaweza fanya shughuli zetu kama wauungwana, kila mmoja apate kufaidi.

Jane: Naona ni vema kwa sisi sote kama jambo hili tukilizika na kulisahau. Tena yeye kaniomba msamaha; msamaha wa fedha, nazo nyingi sana. (Baadhi yao wanaonekana kutabasamu). Hata sasa nina mipango mingine, hivyo kusema kama yeye aliwahi kunilawiti ni kuharibu mambo tu.

Wakili:Kama wewe waona ni vema kulisahau, basi sisi hatuna budi bali kufanya hivyo.

Bw. Chapa: Naona kama tumefanya maandalio ya kutosha. Kombo apate kujua kuwa daima mpanda ngazi hushuka.





(Miezi matatu baadaye, kwenye mahakama. Leo ikiwa siku ya kutolewa kwa hukumu dhidi ya mashtaka ya Kombo kuhusika na ufisadi. Watu wamejaa ndani na hata nje, angalau wapate kumwona mshatakiwa huyu mashuhuri. Magazeti yote na vyumba vya habari vimewakilishwa vilivyo na wanahabari wao. Watu wote wanasimama pale Hakimu anapoingia mahakamani: kisha anawaruhusu kuketi).


Hakimu : Leo, ikiwa tarehe…..(anataja tarehe/ tarehe yoyote ile), ni siku ya kutoa hukumu dhidi yake mshtakiwa, Bw. Kombo.


Korti hili limemchunguza na kumpata na hatia za kutekeleza ufisadi na ukabila. Hivyo, kutolewa hukumu dhidi yake kutakuwa funzo bora kwa watu wengine wanaojihusisha au wanaofikiri kujihusisha na ufisadi au ukabila. Ukabila tayari ukiwa aina moja wapo ya ufisadi, kwani mtu hubaguliwa na kudhulumiwa na mwenzake. Hata watu kama hao wapate kutafakari kabla ya kujihusisha na maovu hayo mawili.


Kama mjuavyo, ufisadi na ukabila ni pingamizi kuu za maendeleo humu nchini mwetu. Kwa mfano, Bw. Kombo amejifaidi sana na mali ya umma; mali ambayo ingetumiwa kujengea mashule, kuanzisha miradi ya maendeleo na kuikuza jamii kwa jumla. Lakini kwa sababu ya ulafi wa mmoja wetu, haya yote hayajawezekana. Sina mengi ya kunena kuhusu maovu hayo mawili kwani nyinyi wenyewe mwayafahamu vilivyo. Langu tu lilikuwa kuwakumbusha.


Shtaka la kwanza dhidi ya mshtakiwa, lile la kujihusisha na ufisadi katika kutoa kondrati ya uenezaji wa umeme kinyume na sheria, limetupiliwa mbali. Hii ni kwa sababu wakili wa serikali aliyeongoza mashtaka dhidi ya mshukiwa hakuweza kutoa ushahidi kamili kuonyesha kuwa kama jambo hilo ni tendo la ufisadi. (Malalamiko kidogo kortini, ila Hakimu anawanyamazisha wenye kulalama).


Mshtakiwa amepatikana na hatia ya kujihusisha na ufisadi wa kuajiriwa kwa watu hapo kwenye Wizara Ya Kawi. Hasa kuwaandika watu kazi kwa sababu ni jamii au rafiki zake, au walipata kumhonga: ila naihakikishia korti hii kuwa watu walioweza kufaidi na huo ufisadi watachukuliwa hatua kamili za kisheria Hilo ndilo lililokuwa shtaka la pili.


Shtaka la tatu na la mwisho ni kuzikiuka sheria wakati akitekeleza kupigwa kalamu kwa watu hawa wawili: Bw. Mzushi na Bw. Mnyonge. Vithibiti na ushahidi uliotolewa unaonyesha kuwa aliwafuta kazi kwa msingi wa ukabila, ilhali wao walikuwa wamaendikiana mkataba na wizara. Kama ni kufutwa kazi, basi jopo lililopo hapo na kupewa uwezo wa kuwaajiri na kuwafuta kazi watumishi wa wizara hiyo, ingewachunguza kwanza na kisha kuwahukumu, wala si mtu binafsi kufanya hivyo; awe rais, awe waziri. Hiyo ndiyo sheria, nayo sheria ikimzidi nguvu na uwezo mwenye kuitoa.


Hivyo, hii korti inamhukumu mshtakiwa afungwe kifungo cha miaka saba na kutoa haka ya milioni kumi. Nao Bw. Mzushi na Bw. Mnyonge warudishwe kazini mara moja. Kesi imekwisha!


(Anagongesha kifaa chake kwenye kijichuma kilichoko dawatini kuonyesha kuwa kesi dhidi ya Kombo imekwisha. Waliomo humo kortini wanaonyesha hisia mbalimbali; wengine wanaonekana wenye simanzi (wafuasi wake Kombo) na wengine wanatoa vigelegele na kuonyesha furaha kuu.


(Mpole, Bw. Ugomvi, Mjuaji, Bw. Tembo, Bi. Fitina, Msomi, Fukara na baadhi ya aila ya Kombo wamekusanyika pamoja, nao wanaonekana wenye simanzi. Bi. Ugomvi anaanza kulia kwa kwi kwi huku Bi. Fitina akijaribu kumbembeleza aache kulia, askari wa kortini wanamchukua Kombo na kumtoa nje ya mahakama. Wanamwingiza ndani ya gari, huku wanahabari wakimpiga picha, na kuanza safari ya kuelekea gerezani).



(Siku ya kuamkia, Jane yumo ndani ya iliyokuwa ofisi ya Kombo. Anaonekana kuvipanga vitu vyake hapo kwenye dawati. Kwenye dawati pia kuna gazeti la ‘Siku Zote’ nayo taarifa kuu ya leo yasema: KOMBO ATUMBUKIA MIAKA SABA NDANI; KATIBU WAKE, JANE, AFANYWA KUWA WAZIRI MPYA).





Masihara: Utani, dhihaka, mchezo, mzaha

Simanzi: Majonzi, masikitiko

Hedaya: Zawadi, atia, tunzo, tunu

Kandarasi : Kazi inayofanywa kwa muda maalumu na kwa malipo yaliyokubaliwa na pande zote mbili. Kondrati.

Msimbo: 1. Jina la kupanga ili kuficha asili n.k., lakabu

2. Tabia mbaya

Kanchiri : Sidiria

Kiokote : Yatima

Hujumu : Fisidi, haribu, vuruga

Mhadhiri : Mtu anayetoa mhadhara

Mhadhara : Maelezo yanayotolewa mbele ya watu au wanafunzi hasa katika vyuo vya juu kwa ajili ya kufundisha.

Staftahi : Kiamsha kinywa ; kifungua kinywa ; chamsha kinywa.

Ufashisti: Mfumo wa utawala wa siasa unaowabagua watu kwa asili zao na kuwatesa kwa sababu tu ya kutokuwemo katika kundi fulani k.v. la kabila, rangi ya ngozi, dini, n.k.

Seredani: Jiko la makaa

Sodo: Kitambaa kitumiwacho na wanawake kujihifadhi wakati wa hedhi, ufyambo.

Hanithi: Mwanamume asiyesimika; mwanamume asiyeweza kukwea mke.

Jokofu: Chombo mfano wa kabati lakini kilichotengenezwa kwa madini na chenye mtambo wa kuleta baridi na kufanyia barafu, kabati la barafu, friji, jirafu.

Tuhuma: Shaka ya kudhania jambo lisilo zuri.

Kitivo: Idara kuu ya masomo ya fani fulani k.v. katika chuo kikuu, ambayo huwa na idara zake ndogo; kitivo cha sayansi.

Vikaragosi: Vibaraka; watu wasiokuwa na uwezo; watu wenye hali ya chini ambao hutumika chini ya mtu au watu wengine.

Propaganda: Habari zisizokuwa za kweli, habari za uwongo

Tabaka: Kundi la watu wenye hali moja linalotokana na jamii yenye mfumo wa uchumi wa kinyonyaji ambao hugawanya watu kufuatana na uwezo wao wa kumiliki au kutawala njia za kuzalisha mali.

Ayali: Watu wa nyumbani; kama vile jamaa, ndugu, watoto, uko, ahali, ufungu, nyumbani, jamii, kizazi.

Mwanasesere: Mtoto wa bandia, mwanaabudu, abudu.

Tohara: Tia jando, tahiri

Taaluma: Elimu inayopatikana kwa kusoma.

Uhasama: Hali ya kufarakana kwa ajili ya ugomvi; uadui; utesi; uhasimu.

Uhasidi: Tabia ya kuonea kijicho mafanikio ya wengine, wivu, husuda.

Vizibiti: Vitu vinavyotolewa mahakamani ili kuthibitisha ushahidi katika kesi.

Hirizi: Kitu kama vile karatasi iliyo na maandishi maalumu au vipande vya miti

kinachovaliwa na kuaminiwa na baadhi ya watu kuwa ni dawa ya kujikinga na madhara; kago, kinga, azima.

Wahaka: Hali ya wasiwasi na kupapatika kwa moyo; kiherehere; wasiwasi; machugachuga.

Haka: Faini; fedha inayotozwa kuwa ni adhabu kwa mwenye hatia; fedha ya kulipia kosa.



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